Do you know how to educate children when they make mistakes? Children often make mistakes in life. Some parents choose tolerance, and some parents choose severe punishment, which is actually inappropriate. Let me share with you how to educate children when they make mistakes. Interested friends should come and learn about it.
How to educate children to make mistakes 1 1, and the "sentencing" of punishment should be appropriate.
The purpose of punishing children is for the benign transformation of children, and the "sentencing" of punishment must conform to the behavior of children. Excessive punishment is easy to cause children's confrontational emotions, which is not enough for children to take warning. Therefore, punishing children should be based on the principle of achieving their goals. We should neither underestimate nor make a mountain out of a molehill and abuse "punishment". Locke, a great educator, said: "When children should be punished for the first time, they should not stop until they have completely achieved their goals;" And it will gradually increase. "The reason is very intriguing.
2, according to the provisions of punishment.
Parents should negotiate with their children to formulate a reward and punishment rule to let them know what punishment they will get after making mistakes. In this way, children will concentrate on weekdays, thus reducing the probability of making mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, parents should pay attention to adjusting their emotions and don't punish the child at will because of impulsiveness. If children make the same mistakes in the future, they should be punished as before according to the rules, so that parents can establish prestige in their children's hearts.
3. It shows that the "way out" is unambiguous.
Punishing children should not give up halfway, but should require the punished children to make specific corrections before stopping. Parents should have a clear attitude and clearly tell their children what to do, what requirements or standards they should meet, or what the consequences will be. If the child has the habit of littering and doesn't like to clean up, parents should let the child clean up his things and toys when punishing the child; Make it clear that you must do it well, or you will be punished again. Parents must not be vague or even let their children "think for themselves". Parents don't give a "way out", and children have no goal to correct their mistakes, and the effect is not obvious.
Don't hesitate to punish in time.
The effect of punishment partly comes from conditioned reflex, and the shorter the interval between conditioned stimulus and unconditional stimulus, the better the effect. Therefore, once parents find that their children have made mistakes, they should punish them immediately as long as the situation permits; If the situation at that time (such as the presence of guests or in public places) does not allow immediate response, conditions should be created in time afterwards to let the child return to the original similar situation as much as possible. Parents and children should review and summarize the words and deeds at that time together, make him realize the wrong behavior at that time and explicitly ask him to correct it.
5, the most taboo sarcasm
Parents punish their children to avoid sarcasm, and they can't accuse and abuse them with vicious language just because they believe that "the child was born to me and raised by me". Practice has proved that sarcastic and abusive language has gone beyond the acceptable range of children's reason and will hurt children's self-esteem. Therefore, parents should bear in mind that the purpose of punishing children is to help them correct their mistakes, not to stimulate the most sensitive corner of their hearts-self-esteem. Some parents punish their children for their uncivilized language and foul language, but at the same time, they also "export foul language", which makes the effect of training and teaching greatly reduced or even unconvincing.
6, talk about things, don't be implicated.
From the point of view of the punished person, children hate their parents' "dumping pickles" most, and once it happens, they will turn over old scores. Many parents do not understand this truth. When they teach their children, they can't forget to ramble, drag their feet, tell them all kinds of mistakes, or even tell them nothing until they forget the theme of this training. What does the child think? I'm not right at all anyway. My parents can't see the achievements I have made and the shortcomings I have corrected. I felt that I was born to be trained and punished, and I lost confidence in correcting my mistakes, so I went my own way. The educational effect can be imagined. Therefore, parents must educate and punish their children one by one, talk about the matter, don't get involved, and don't turn over old scores.
7. Ex post facto reasoning is essential.
The relationship between teaching and being taught is the relationship between parents and children, but educating children still needs to convince people by reasoning. Punishment is only a means, not an end. Therefore, it is necessary to reason with the child in time after the punishment, otherwise the child will remain the same after enduring the punishment. Therefore, after punishing the child, parents should let him understand why he was punished, know the reasons for making mistakes, and clearly understand the consequences of making mistakes. Punishment is just a bad conditional stimulus, and its effect is short-term and not lasting. The fact that a punished child corrects his mistake does not mean that he has come to his senses, and there is no guarantee that he will not commit it again. Therefore, it is the key to eradicate mistakes to let children know the reason why they are punished, and reasoning is an indispensable and important step after punishing children.
How to educate children when they make mistakes? 2 What should parents do if children make mistakes?
1, cold treatment
It is just one of the means to deal with children's willful behavior, because some behaviors are unintentional. If they are ignored and not strengthened, they may not appear again. Therefore, in the first three kinds of bad behaviors, such as swearing and hitting people, parents can pretend not to see or hear.
Step 2 stop and explain the truth
If children knowingly do some bad behaviors, they should constantly stop, tell the truth, and even be punished. When children can't eat well and scatter food everywhere, they should make it clear that they should cherish food. If they are full, they can leave the table, but they can't waste food. If the child continues, take it away at once.
Step 3 divert your attention
Dangerous behaviors such as turning on the gas and touching the plug must be stopped immediately. Tell the children with serious expression and language that it is dangerous and can't be done again, and then let them leave by diverting their attention.
4. Means of punishment
When all the above means fail, you can consider canceling some things that children like, such as not watching cartoons; Or let him sit in a fixed small chair and reflect, and clearly tell him what he did wrong, why, how to do it in the future, and so on.
5. Humor is done
If the child is crying rudely, ignoring, distracting and reasoning will not help. Parents can use humorous means, such as saying to him: You cry, I will wait for you for a while. Then I smiled and watched him cry, and he continued to cry, and the parents continued to laugh until they trembled. Children will give up when they know that crying is useless. But this method is not suitable for public places, otherwise the child will lose face.