Can parents yell at their children to make them more sensible and obedient, or can they get rid of their original problems?
On the contrary, when parents suddenly speak loudly, with anger in their tone and disgust on their faces, the child's spiritual world is suddenly sealed by the ice and snow in the cold winter. The child sees that the person in front of him is no longer his favorite mother, but a tall and terrible "monster"! He has completely forgotten the mistake he just made, and the rest is fear!
Children who are always inexplicably accused or even violently attacked often doubt that they are unloved and feel that nothing is welcome. As time goes on, children will become afraid, obedient, and even indecisive, weak and inferior in the future.
Parents are always their children's first teachers, and children will follow suit. When they grow up, they will deal with interpersonal relationships in this way, and even use this rude reprimand to educate their children. It can be seen that it is very undesirable to educate children in this way of yelling and violence. But children will inevitably make mistakes when they grow up. How should parents adjust and educate their children?
When you want to yell at your child, try to adjust it in the following ways:
First of all, turn your back, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and wait for 30 seconds to calm yourself down. Don't let yourself become a tall and terrible monster! It's time to test your self-control
Second, kneel down and say to the child in a relaxed tone: Bao Xiao, I think you must have pushed the boy to wrestle from behind for some reason, right?
Third, listen carefully to children's voices, understand children from their perspective, and put yourself in their shoes. If you were him or her, would you do the same?
As parents often see their children's mistakes, we should not only see the mistakes themselves, but also reflect on them. When a child's behavior is annoying, he is actually sending you a password, hoping you can decipher its true meaning. In fact, many times children want to find their sense of belonging and value.
A friend once told me about such an event. She said that once because a child broke a cup, she was out of control because she was afraid that the broken glass would stab the child. She even rushed over to pick up the child and put it aside heavily, pointing to her nose and saying to the child, I'll hit you with a cup next time. But when the child said, "I want to pour a glass of water for my mother," she burst into tears and regretted her behavior just now.
Uncle Qiao Zhi said in the cartoon: improve your parenting level, not your voice; It is the drizzle that makes the flowers grow, not the thunder.
Therefore, if you really want to be a qualified parent, you must constantly improve your emotional management control, learn more about parenting knowledge and family education methods, establish empathy, make friends with your children, and grow up with them, so that raising children is no longer so troublesome.
The mother who raised two children alone in Beijing has experienced the hardships of raising children. The first time I took my baby as a mother by feeling, I was once confused, lost, learned from a painful experience and devoted myself to practice. Bauer's arrival is like "spring breeze blowing branches, green leaves shaking peach blossoms and birds singing happily". Raising children is no longer a burden, but a good friend who walks together, grows up together and enjoys every wonderful moment together!
Do you feel the same way about Ma Bao who gave birth to a second child?
Parents on the way to parenting are welcome to discuss and share the troubles and happiness of parenting together. You are not alone along the way, let's go together!