How big a person's achievement is, is directly proportional to the extent to which he can delay the satisfaction of existing desires. To paraphrase a famous saying: successful people are generally the same, and unsuccessful people have their own reasons. This "identity" is temperance. There is laziness in human nature, but once you have a goal, you must control yourself and not be lazy. People who can overcome this nature can achieve something, which is what we call self-discipline. Everyone will encounter difficulties and setbacks on the road to success, as well as various temptations. He who can stand the temptation and stick to the end is a successful person.
And this moderation needs to be cultivated from an early age, and it must be cultivated from an early age. Before the age of 3, it is a very important beginning to cultivate children's self-control and self-discipline ability. To cultivate this ability, we must start from cultivating children's sense of delayed satisfaction. Children who can delay gratification can gradually learn to be their own masters, control their own behaviors, and know to overcome their emotions with reason.
The so-called delayed satisfaction is what we usually call "patience and temperance". In order to pursue greater goals and gain greater enjoyment, we can restrain our desires and give up the temptation in front of us. But "delayed gratification" is not simply to let children learn to wait, nor to suppress their desires blindly. It is an ability to overcome the current difficult situation and strive for long-term interests. However, if the ability to delay satisfaction is underdeveloped, it is easy to be impatient and impatient. After entering adolescence, people are prone to shyness and stubbornness in social communication, irritability when encountering setbacks, and shrinking or being at a loss when encountering pressure.
Whether you can endure or wait for a long time is a sign of a child's self-control, because not everything in life is what he wants.
It has become a common problem for urban children not to restrain their desires. However, it is the practice of most parents to be obedient to their children or to "fight with their wits", but they can't stand their children crying for three minutes and then fail to meet their requirements. Especially when old people take care of children. Parents' response deprived children of the opportunity to exercise "self-control". The training of "delayed gratification" can help children improve their self-control, learn to wait, learn to share, and be more resistant to setbacks.
Children with strong ability to delay gratification are more likely to develop stronger social competitiveness and higher work and study efficiency in the future; Have strong self-confidence and can better cope with setbacks, pressures and difficulties in life; When pursuing your own goals, you can resist the temptation of immediate satisfaction and achieve long-term and more valuable goals.
The cultivation of delayed gratification ability should be gradual, starting with things that are easy to control. After more than ten years of concept transmission, children will internalize it into their own qualities and abilities.
Cultivating children's ability to "delay satisfaction" cannot be separated from parents' encouragement. When children try to "refresh" their own records according to the requirements of adults, parents must affirm their children and give them some small rewards to give them the motivation to persist. In addition, if children insist on timely satisfaction, parents should not deliberately force them to insist, because it is difficult for young babies to consciously control their desires.
"Be responsive" is actually a "love poison". In the long run, children will form habits. As long as they think it is good for them, they will act blindly, right or wrong. They don't know how to be modest and impatient, and they have to ask their parents for help in everything. They can't sit still while studying, are easy to indulge in exciting computer games, and most of them have a bad temper, and even run away from home as soon as they are criticized.
American psychologists have done a psychological experiment of "delayed gratification". Delaying satisfaction is what we usually call "patience". In order to pursue greater goals and gain greater enjoyment, we can restrain our desires and give up the temptation in front of us. In fact, those who commit crimes on impulse often can't restrain their desire to expand instantly. On the contrary, those who have a successful career can often accumulate small desires and become the driving force to constantly motivate themselves.
To cultivate children's patience, we should start with the little things in life. The trick is to "delay satisfaction", so that children can learn to wait and get what they want through their own efforts.
He learned to "delay satisfaction". In this way, in the process of growing up, he will know how to set lofty goals and ideals and develop good character and habits. If you blindly meet the child's requirements, it will cause the baby's personality to become more and more impatient, more and more spoiled, and more and more impatient.
Delayed gratification is one of the manifestations of children's self-control, which reflects whether a child can control his immediate impulse to more valuable long-term results, give up the choice orientation of immediate gratification, and show his self-control ability during the waiting period. (Inspirational quote m.taiks.com) Delayed gratification is not only the core component and the most important skill of children's self-control, but also an important component of children's socialization and emotional adjustment. It is also a basic and positive personality factor that accompanies people's life, and it is an important symbol that children move from naivety to maturity and from dependence to independence.
Premature satisfaction gives children the illusion that their parents can do anything. A senior one student watched others go abroad and wanted to study abroad despite the hardships brought by a single mother. Seven years later, he got a worthless college diploma abroad, which cost his parents more than 654.38 million yuan, but he felt that his mother should.
Premature satisfaction makes children lose the will to struggle and feel that there is no need to work so hard. What about the parents in life? Moonlight, Ken Lao, a series of new youths stand out. On the contrary, in this case, it is a bit silly to study hard.
Premature satisfaction makes children feel that things in this world are too easy, there is no need to work hard, and there is a sense of urgency, so they muddle along.
Premature satisfaction, children experience fewer setbacks, so when they encounter difficulties and hardships in life, they are often defeated and can't stand the wind and waves, that is, their psychological quality is extremely poor. Once you fail, it is difficult to turn over.
Premature satisfaction, the child's life will pay the price, premature satisfaction, everything has been enjoyed, what is the meaning of life? Once a negative outlook on life is formed, life really comes to a later stage.
To educate children to learn to "delay satisfaction", we must teach them not to covet comfort from an early age. Straighten out the order of happiness and pain in life. First of all, face the hardships in life bravely, because without them, there will be no happiness in the future. Therefore, study hard, struggle hard and work hard, but this kind of suffering is the source of reconciliation.
To educate children to "delay satisfaction", we must let them have a broad mind, be able to endure and tolerate temporary difficulties and hardships, be able to tolerate temporary arrogance of others, and be able to tolerate criticism, accusation and framing of others. All this has been done, and it will be difficult for you to cultivate children without quality. If you don't succeed, there is no reason. It is not the masterpiece of life, or the masterpiece of God has not yet been discovered.
First, delay satisfaction and let children learn to wait.
Let children learn to "wait" and be satisfied in expectation, and children will cherish this hard-won happiness more. For example, at the gate of the kindergarten, when we see that we want to buy this and that, our parents will not let us go home unless we buy it. At this time, parents should be especially able to hold their horses and reason with their children: mom doesn't have much salary left this month, and she has to buy food and pay electricity and water bills. If you buy these toys, you will have no money to pay the electricity and water bills. I'll buy it for you when mom gets paid next month, okay? After parents' patient explanation, I believe that most children can accept their parents' suggestions, restrain their desire to buy toys and leave their hopes waiting. Children learn to understand others while waiting. Of course, parents must keep their promises.
Second, delay satisfaction and let children learn to share.
It is also complicated and difficult for children to enter a small group and society like kindergarten. For example, my favorite toy companion also likes it, so I can't keep it for myself. These problems are rare among children at home. Therefore, in daily education, parents should delay their children's satisfaction, infiltrate and share education, and let children gradually develop a peaceful attitude towards the surrounding things. For example, there are things that children especially like to eat at home, and parents are reluctant to eat them and leave them to their children. This seems to love children, but in fact it is not good for children.
Third, delay satisfaction and let children learn to resist setbacks.
Today's children can't bear the slightest difficulties or setbacks in life, so they will pin their hopes on their parents. What about our parents? I can't see that the child has a little injustice and loss. I've always wanted my children to live a smooth life, but is it possible in real life? Even if the child has successfully passed through the difficulties under your arrangement, the child will only get temporary happiness. Without the painful process of setbacks, children can't really appreciate the joy of success.
Delaying satisfaction and cultivating children's good character can be said to be a long-term educational project. The key is that parents should have a correct understanding of their children's education, a correct educational attitude and perseverance. I am willing to let the children suffer hardships and suffer some setbacks. In this way, when our children move from family to society, they will be calm and will not be intimidated by difficulties; When they enter the society in the future, no matter what storms they encounter, they can go forward bravely.
The purpose of "delayed gratification" is to train children's self-control ability and learn to be patient. Children who delay satisfaction are more likely to succeed in their future studies, be more patient in their future lives and adapt to society more easily. Therefore, parents should not blindly satisfy their children because they love them. Delaying satisfaction can make children achieve greater success in the future.
Delaying satisfaction is a character and an ability. Preschool is a critical period for children's initiative development, and both junior high school and senior high school are a period of rapid changes in children's self-awareness. Therefore, in these stages, it is necessary to create an atmosphere for children, so that children can get psychological and material satisfaction in independent and active actions, and at the same time give certain guidance and constraints, especially to postpone the satisfaction of their needs in some situations.