A bosom friend met a very confused problem. She and her grandparents have different ideas about their sister's education, and she doesn't know how to convince them or herself.

The friends I know think that grandparents' actions are inappropriate, they don't allow their younger sister to vent their emotions, and they also educate their younger sister by threatening and belittling others. But she is young after all, and she is not sure whether she is wrong or her grandparents are wrong.

It can be seen from the description that the educational ideas of young people and old people are completely different. This is not an individual event, but a common phenomenon. Not only between grandparents and grandchildren, but also between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

The higher the education level of young people, the more serious the difference. This is because the more you understand the new concept of parenting, the more you will be afraid that the old people's education methods will affect their children. On the contrary, the way of educating children will follow the practice of the elderly, and the conflict is not particularly fierce.

In this case, we need to comfort the sad and crying children correctly first, and then solve the problem of the elderly.

Children cry to express their emotions. He is only five years old. He should have played, bathed, read and slept at night with his mother, but the fixed program was suddenly interrupted for a few days, which was definitely not suitable for children. It is normal for children to cry.

We should understand children's feelings, allow them to cry, vent their emotions and release their emotions. Also accept the fact that a child may cry for several days, and it won't end all at once. Growth needs a process.

Bauer had the same experience. Dabao suddenly offered to stay in school. I have to pick him up from school at 9: 30 every night, but I can't put Bauer to sleep. Bauer is particularly unhappy. I cried for half a year and slowly accepted it. I don't cry now, but I've been waiting for me to come back, hugging me tightly and enjoying the time when I read to him and put him to sleep.

You can't watch a child cry. At this time, what she needs is understanding and wanting love like her mother. Because children at this stage still have a strong sense of order, it is the greatest comfort that the established order will not be destroyed. If a person can do regular bedtime activities as usual like a mother, the child's mood will be much better.

The following steps are recommended:

1, identify with the child's emotions and tell her sister, "I understand your feelings. I miss my mother as much as you do."

2. Allow the child to cry and tell her sister, "Cry for a while if you want."

3, physical comfort, hug your sister, let her mood get faster relief, because hugs can produce shocking power.

4. interact with your sister. When my sister is in a good mood, imitate the scene where her mother is with her and do some activities that make her happy.

Keeping a happy mood before going to bed can ensure a good sleep quality. If you cry yourself to sleep and can't sleep well, it will also affect your mental state the next day.

This kind of education for the elderly seems inappropriate now, but they won't realize it. In fact, they also love children very much, but their expressions conflict with modern educational concepts.

The old man is worried that the child will cry. The child's crying is heartbreaking, disturbing and distressing. If you cry for a long time, it is extremely uncomfortable for your child to keep rubbing your eyes and your eyes are red and swollen.

Other children cry loudly and for a long time, and it is easy to cause other physical discomfort. The old man doesn't want to make the child cry, but he also means to protect the child.

Old people don't understand children's psychology. Don't say old people, even many young parents don't know much about their children's psychology. I have raised children for more than 10 years, and it is only in recent years that I have learned a little about children's psychology before I can understand some behaviors of children.

They don't know that being forbidden to cry when a child is crying may make the child feel unloved and hide his emotions in his heart. After a long time, his personality and psychology will be adversely affected.

Habits formed over the years. Old people have at least thirty or forty years of "parenting experience". That's how they used to educate their children. The child may develop well. How should they reflect on their educational methods?

But they don't know that the current social environment is very different from before, and the children of today are not the children of the past, and the old-fashioned education methods may not be acclimatized. In other words, the children have developed, but the old people's thoughts have not kept up.

Thinking about these problems, we should also understand the elderly, and don't be too angry with them. They are helpless.

The old man thought, "I ate more salt than you crossed the bridge." Isn't it ridiculous for you to educate me? " "You are the younger generation, should not respect the old man? How am I qualified to educate me? "

Old people often pretend to be too old to listen to other people's advice. The best way is for us to do the right thing and make the old people realize that what they are doing is wrong and what the young people are doing is right.

We will use the right method to appease the children and let the old people see a good result. But sometimes old people can't see the past and want to interfere with our behavior. My suggestion is to simply say to the old man, "Leave this to me, you don't have to worry about it first." Take the children to a separate room and lock the door. Old people are not allowed to enter.

Wait until the child's mood returns to normal, then take the child out. Seeing that the elderly are in a good mood, you can tell them, "Children need to vent their emotions, let them vent, cry again, just hold her and let her cry for a while."

Old people will find this method effective when they see the children's emotional changes.

If the elderly are very reasonable and have the desire to make progress, they can rise to a higher level and find some cases to tell them that if they don't let their children cry for a long time, they will be under great pressure in the future.

For example, I found two examples.

After reading these true stories, I believe the old people will be touched. No matter how much the elderly can accept, we will try our best to make some efforts, and I believe they will have some subtle changes.

Write at the end:

Children's emotions need to be appeased, and grandparents' education methods need to be changed, which is especially difficult for people caught in the middle. But there is no way. I hope that through the above simple ways, the family atmosphere will be harmonious and every child will be kind.