This book is an autobiographical novel by Tara Westerfer, an American writer and doctor of history at Cambridge University, and the first one on Bill Gates' annual recommendation list.
The first time I read this book, I was just curious about a Shan Ye girl who had never stepped into the classroom before the age of 17, but she was wearing a top hat with academic qualifications and was radiant. What magical power is behind it? But later, I was gradually moved by Tara's experience, strength and courage.
Tara uses her own personal experience to let readers see more deeply how much influence family background has on a child, not only superficially, but also deeply rooted spiritually.
However, in order to get rid of this ideological imprisonment, the efforts and costs needed are beyond ordinary people's understanding, and people often deliberately ignore them.
A lot of thinking can really be extended from this book.
For example, there are so many riots in social news, why don't the victims stay away from garbage? -maybe she has no ability to escape, maybe she still has fantasies.
For example, why does Born into a Family have such a great influence on modern people? Maybe people can't tell love from hate. People who hurt us are often the only people we rely on, the people we trust and the people we love for a long time.
0 1 primary effect, deep into bone marrow
Tara lived a life contrary to modern society when she was a child. Her parents believe in Mormonism, their thoughts are extreme and paranoid, their father is violent and paranoid, their mother is cowardly and obedient, and their brother is violent and crazy. .....
It can be said that Tara's childhood was cast by scrap iron in the garbage dump, where there was no sound of reading, only the roar of cranes.
Not going to school or seeing a doctor is the loyalty and truth that their father wants them to adhere to. His father doesn't allow them to have their own voice, and their will is the devil in his eyes.
Finally, with the encouragement of another brother Taylor, Tara decided to go to college by herself. After a long struggle, hard work and wits with her father, Tara finally walked out of the mountain that trapped her since childhood and flew to her own mountain like a bird.
But even though Tara left home, went to Brigham Young University, and even went to Harvard and Cambridge, the influence of her family was still with her.
I dare not wear fashionable and avant-garde clothes, dare not contact with boys, and even fall into deep self-denial after being squeezed out and betrayed by my family.
It can be seen that the influence of some families can be described as deep into the bone marrow.
I have read a sentence before: "We only fought against the world once in our childhood, and we are only facing and dealing with the result of that struggle for the rest of our lives."
The most worrying thing is that this bloodline game is actually far less relaxed than we look as bystanders.
Education after tomorrow is very important.
Tara talked about education in a later interview: "Education means getting different perspectives and understanding different people, experiences and history. Get an education, but don't let your education become arrogant. Education should not make your prejudice more stubborn.
If people are educated, they should become less sure, not more sure. They should listen more and talk less, be passionate about differences and love ideas different from them. "
Tara always hears only her father's voice at Barker Peak. Outside, the sound is diverse. A good education is never authority, but understanding.
Tara wrote in the book: "My family was divided into two halves from the middle-three left the mountain and four stayed. Three received doctorates and four did not have a high school diploma. Cracks have appeared and are getting deeper and deeper. "
It can be seen that education is important to people. Even children who grow up in the same family, whether they receive education or not, have very different final results.
So what kind of ability did education give Tara to completely change her?
? So that she can see herself from a higher angle like a bird. Tara, 7, is worried about the end of the world and has no hope for life. After going to college, Tara began to perceive the world around her and heard more voices, which also gave her a different view of the world and herself.
Let her understand and accept the influence of family background on herself. Tara, who wrote the book, calmly and rationally examined the little girl at that time. After a long struggle and resistance, she finally chose to reconcile with the little girl at that time.
? Let her get rid of her old self and rebuild her new self. Through painful struggle and long struggle, Tara finally broke away from the self that family of origin created for her, and really reshaped herself.
As Tara wrote: "All my efforts and academic achievements over the years have given me this special ability to see and experience more facts than my father" gave "me, and use these facts to build my mind."
? ? The so-called education means that when your life is faced with your confused thoughts, subverted and challenged, you read, communicate with others, then try, practice some new things, then think about these things, and finally precipitate into a new process of self-awareness and self-discovery. This is the ability given to us by education.
Self-change, from the inside out
Wilde said: "Love yourself is the beginning of romantic life. What others say and do to themselves will have an impact on their values of life, but it is themselves who can really decide their life choices. "
When Tara's world outlook given by her family conflicts with her real self, Tara bravely chooses to rebuild herself in this confusion.
Think about what the professor said in the book: "The most powerful factor that determines who you are comes from your heart. She is just a Londoner in beautiful clothes until she believes in herself. At that time, it didn't matter what clothes she wore. "
A good book can make people think. As Bill Gates said when commenting on this book, "An amazing story is really inspiring. When I read her extreme childhood story, I also began to reflect on my life. "
-Mirror city