In the program, a mother told her herself that she had a breakdown while tutoring her four-year-old child's homework. Every time she asks the child to recite something, the child just can't recite it. In desperation, the mother began to worry and let her children improve their learning efficiency by punishing themselves. This topic triggered a heated discussion between parents and students.
As a growth assistant, parents' guilt education has caused psychological pressure to children, and expert observers also disapprove of this practice of mothers. She pointed out that such "guilt education" will make children feel "guilty", which will have a very adverse impact on their future growth and a series of behavior habits.
What is guilt education? That is to say, children are forced to accept it through various extreme means, which makes them feel guilty and drives their various behaviors. On the surface, this educational method is to let children learn to be grateful, but in fact, it is to control children in this form.
There is a concept in psychology called "guilt control", which generally means that children feel that their parents are grateful to them, so they can't oppose and reject their parents and finally obey their parents' wishes. Many parents adopt guilt-based education, the original intention should be to make their children feel grateful, but parents don't know how much harm this kind of education has caused to their children.
1, affecting children's self-confidence
If children stay in this sinful environment for a long time, it will constantly affect their self-confidence and creativity, making them afraid to express their true thoughts and feelings easily.
2. Affect parent-child relationship
Parents who always suppress their children are prone to fear, which will also affect the communication between the two sides, which is not conducive to the establishment of parent-child relationship.
If you want your child to grow up healthily, you must reduce your child's guilt.
First, adjust the mentality.
From the birth of a child, the education of the child is an obligation that every parent must fulfill. Raising a child does not mean that the child owes his parents.
Second, don't lower your quality of life because of your children.
Parents are people first, and they have their own lives. Once their burden increases indefinitely because of their children, psychological imbalance will inevitably occur. This imbalance will breed and spread when there are occasional contradictions, become a sharp knife, and cut to the intimate parent-child relationship. As the famous educator makarenko said, "Everything is given to children, and they are willing to sacrifice everything, even happiness, for the sake of children. This is the most terrible gift parents give their children. " Raising children by compressing their quality of life is the source of their guilt and the source of moral kidnapping used by many parents.
Some parents love their children, but at the same time remind them of their pain and make them feel sorry and guilty, thus achieving their goals.
In short, as parents, we should learn to think from the child's point of view, understand the child's heart, complain less, care more from the heart, and let the child grow up carefree.