? Yesterday, I talked to President Xue about family education. I put forward a point that schools should be the leaders of family education. After all, for most parents, they are not professional educators and do not have professional educational knowledge. In this regard, the school should assume this obligation and become the instructor and leader of family education.
In No.1 Middle School, President Liu pointed out that an important role of parents' meeting is to educate parents, not just to report students' situation to parents, which I quite agree with.
So I began to talk about family education.
First, the status quo of family education
1, over 90% of parents have no confidence in teaching their children well.
? According to a survey report, the biggest worry of parents in the process of educating their children is that they don't know how to educate their children (39.7%), followed by "no time to educate their children" (27.5%), and the third is "opinions on educating children are often inconsistent" (25. 1%). Only a few parents are fully capable of educating their children. 9 1.7% parents are willing to improve their education level and improve and cultivate their ability to educate their children.
? At present, nearly half of parents learn family education knowledge through reading and self-study, and 90.6% parents are willing to participate in systematic "parent course" learning.
2. "School-based family education"
A questionnaire survey conducted by the Central Institute of Education shows that parents are most concerned about their children's knowledge (85.95%), ranking first among their children's qualities, while their children's qualities such as practice, innovation and aesthetics are neglected and ranked last. Parents are most concerned about whether their children have learned knowledge, and the primary criterion for evaluating their children is academic performance. For many parents, helping their children finish their homework every day has become the main content of family education.
? With the repeated demands of the education department, from kindergarten to the lower grades of primary school, although the seemingly written homework was cancelled, it became a "task" still related to the exam, and the family became the second classroom for children.
3. Values education "all talk and no action"
Tianjin once conducted a family education survey of children aged 7- 14. When parents were asked to list nine indicators such as health, safety, academic performance, moral character, self-care ability, hobbies, making friends and food and clothing to answer "What do you care about your children most" (choose three of them), 87.2% of parents chose "academic performance" as the first. The person who cares most about children's "morality" is 25.4 percentage points lower than this. When parents were further asked to rank the three selected contents in order of importance, only 18.438+0% of all the respondents put morality first.
? Traditional values are getting less and less attention in family education, or even not mentioned at all. Traditional values such as "I don't know when looking for money", "helping others" and "unity and friendship" are less and less common in family education. Some parents even take the initiative to tell the class teacher that as long as the children study hard, others can be ignored.
At present, the socialist core values of the new era have been established: prosperity, democracy, civilization, harmony, freedom, equality, justice, rule of law, patriotism, dedication, honesty and friendliness. As a member of society and the leader of family education, we teachers should take action, start from self-moral reconstruction and take due responsibility for the establishment of family values.
4. There is something wrong with parents' education methods.
According to a survey by Professor Wang Jisheng from the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, two thirds of parents have improper educational methods. He divided the parenting styles into four categories: overprotection (30%), excessive interference (30%), severe punishment (7%- 10%) and warm understanding of democracy (30%). The first three parenting methods are not scientific parenting methods, which will lead to the loss of personality and creativity of children, with a ratio as high as 70%.
? The direct consequence of improper family education is that children are unwilling to communicate with their parents, and communication is the only way to understand their thoughts, so it will eventually lead to the failure of family education.
? Warm understanding of democratic upbringing provides a broad space for children's psychological and personality development, which is helpful to cultivate children's creativity and good study habits. It is a family parenting method that should be strongly advocated.
5. Family education lacks scientific theoretical guidance.
The survey shows that in the family education of children aged 6- 14, once parents disagree, only 1 1.84% of parents will consult education experts, most parents don't know or seldom seek the help of education experts, and the role of education experts in family education is not very prominent. Only 3.6% of parents will "watch TV programs, newspapers or consult family education experts" after their parents find their children's problems, and they still lack the awareness of getting solutions from a more professional perspective.
Educational psychologists master scientific theories, and their views on problems are more essential and profound than those of parents, so they can often solve problems faster and more efficiently. Parents lack the consciousness of asking experts for help, which leads to the lack of scientific theoretical guidance in current family education and falls into the experience mode.
Second, some views on the concept of modern family education
"? What kind of thoughts a person has, what kind of behavior he will have. "
(A) the concept of children in family education
? 1. "Child-oriented". Parents should regard their children as individuals with personal dignity and unique value, rather than raw materials that can be processed and shaped at will.
? 2. Children are the main body of family education, and parents' educational guidance can only play a role through children's inner spiritual consciousness. Parents must be good at using words that can really touch their children's hearts and fully understand and speak from their children's standpoint, so as to communicate with their children heart to heart and give play to their main role.
? 3. Family education should fully protect children's innate nature such as subjectivity, innovation and exploration, and give correct guidance according to adults' life experience on the basis of children's original pursuit, so that children's self and inner life experience can be continuously enriched and improved.
? 4. Family education should pay attention to children's personality and differences. Parents should be good at discovering children's different personality characteristics, pay attention to training and education, and strive to help children overcome and correct their shortcomings and deficiencies in personality, so that children can develop into people with outstanding personality, excellent quality and all-round development.
(B) the moral concept of family education-"moral education".
? Educating children to be human, parents and children should do together in family education:
(1) Attach importance to personal cultivation, emphasize honesty and trustworthiness, advocate the value of human relations, advocate the sense of benevolence, carry forward moral responsibility, and practice the unity of knowing and doing. Specifically, we should be grateful and caring for others with our children, cherish things and things, have appropriate restraint on our own desires, and have a sense of responsibility for work and study.
? (2) The essence of morality is to correctly handle the relationship between good people and good people in social life. Therefore, in family moral education, we should cultivate children's filial piety and care for others. Cultivate children's ability to get along with others, including being good at communicating with others, having a sense of competition and cooperation, respecting others, getting along with others, and being able to correctly handle the relationship with themselves, others, the collective, society and the country. Instead of being self-centered everywhere.
? (3) Parents should learn to look at their children with appreciation and educate them according to their individual characteristics. Parents should help their children understand the characteristics of their physical and mental development, put forward different goals and requirements for their children according to the characteristics of different age stages, affirm the little progress made by their children through hard work in time, and patiently point out the existing shortcomings and the direction and requirements for continuing their efforts.
(4) Cultivate children with moral ideals and sentiments, awareness of law and discipline, healthy mentality, self-discipline and diligence. Consciously cultivate children from childhood to develop life, study, plan, goal, action, persistence, self-control and good behavior habits.
(C) the concept of talent in family education
? 2 1 century talents must have six abilities:
(1) has a global and international vision of language, culture and knowledge;
(2) be able to update the knowledge structure, master new methods of learning and scientific work, master the frontier knowledge of scientific and technological development and constantly update social needs;
(3) Must have the spirit and ability to learn, innovate, start a business and serve;
(4) Be good at absorbing and integrating the essence of all nationalities in the world;
(5) Pursuing the coordinated development between man and nature and paying attention to environmental protection;
(6) Scientific spirit and methods can be combined with humanistic spirit and humanistic art methods, so that the application of science and technology is more conducive to the civilization and progress of human society and realize the coordinated evolution of man and nature.
(D) the concept of learning in family education
? Modern society is a learning society, and the foundation of learning society is to create a learning family.
The ways to build a learning family are:
(1) update ideas and generate learning needs;
(2) Experience success and cultivate the motivation of lifelong learning;
(3) Developing resources to lay the foundation of learning family;
(4) Integrating the correct relationship to form an equal and harmonious family learning atmosphere;
(5) Optimize the environment, build a learning community and promote the healthy development of small family environment with a good social environment.
(E) the holistic view of family education
? In modern society, building a trinity family education system is not only the requirement of the development of social times, but also the necessary guarantee to improve the effectiveness and pertinence of family education. The main points of the holistic view of family education are:
(1) The consistency between family education and school education aims at cultivating healthy citizens in all aspects. The relationship between them is: family education is the foundation and starting point of the school, and school education is the further expansion, deepening and systematization of the family;
(2) Complementarity of family education and school education. For example, the school requires students to abide by the family life system, complete homework, and participate in housework. Families should understand the educational intention of the school, actively cooperate with it, strive to be consistent with the school in educational attitude, evaluation and handling methods, and at the same time give full play to their respective advantages to supplement each other's shortcomings.
(3) The complementary methods of family education and school are: constantly learning, updating educational concepts, constantly paying attention to and accepting new educational concepts, so that their education for children is always full of vitality); Family-school contact and information communication make family and school a continuum of cooperative education; Scientific guidance to improve the educational effect; Broaden your horizons and grow together at home and school.
(4) Family education and social education complement each other. The relationship between family education and social education is that the former is the foundation of the latter, and the latter is the expansion and regulator of the former (families should promote the healthy growth of children through screening, regulating, controlling and utilizing social information).
(6) Parents' view of family education
? Parents are the main organizers of family life and the main implementers and persons in charge of family education. Parents are the first teachers of the children. Therefore, improving parents' quality is not only the need of family education, but also the requirement of society. Nowadays, parents should have the following qualities:
(1) Optimistic attitude towards life and healthy physical and mental state;
(2) enterprising spirit and lofty ideal realm;
(3) Scientific family education concept and superb family education skills;
(4) profound moral cultivation and good behavior habits;
(5) Open-minded and cheerful personality and the spirit of democracy and tolerance;
(6) Lifelong learning attitude and self-examination ability;
(7) the ability to effectively organize family life and create a harmonious family atmosphere.
(7) Parent-child view of family education
? In modern family education, parent-child relationship refers to the relationship between parents and offspring. Parents should establish a correct parent-child view, which mainly includes:
? (1) Create a harmonious, democratic and equal family education environment. Family education should be based on equality of personality, and the relationship between parents and children is not a relationship of personal attachment, nor a relationship of command and obedience. Parents should have democratic ideas, reach a consensus on the basis of deep mutual understanding through equal exchanges, and form appropriate mutual expectations; Parents have the responsibility to help their children find themselves and form the most suitable personality and development characteristics; A harmonious family environment helps children form moral consciousness such as democracy, equality, cooperation, respect and responsibility.
? (2) Form a family style of learning, progress and civilization. Family style is a family's stable lifestyle, lifestyle, traditional habits, family ethics, and the way to treat others. In modern family education, parents should constantly accept new ideas, combine their own family reality, maintain and carry forward the fine tradition of family style, and establish and form new family style concepts. The tangible family style includes family precepts and other family codes, while the intangible family style mainly refers to the natural influence among family members in daily life.
(3) Maintain family characteristics of mutual respect, understanding, communication and listening. Parents and children should communicate frequently, listen to each other with respect and understanding, and put forward appropriate expectations and requirements for each other on the basis of careful analysis and full discussion. Parents should have fun in life and know how to communicate with their children in different ways.
(4) Establish a sense of responsible, planned and targeted family rules. Every family member should make a specific development plan for himself, arrange the time of work, study, housework and play reasonably, so that everyone can accomplish the goals stipulated in the plan responsibly. This kind of parent-child relationship is not only helpful to cultivate children's planning and sense of responsibility, but also helpful to the harmony of family relations and the continued development of parents and elders.
(viii) Methodological viewpoint of family education.
? The basic principles of modern family education are:
(1) The combination of words and deeds and examples. Parents should not only enlighten, exhort, praise, encourage and criticize their children with appropriate language, but also regulate their children's behavior in the form of letters, family rules and last words, and at the same time influence and influence their children with their own practical actions.
? (2) Combination of strict requirements and respect for children. On the one hand, parents should put forward the educational requirements that children must strive to achieve according to their actual situation. The requirements should not be too high or too low, and the principle of "nearby development zone" should be followed. On the other hand, parents should respect their children's physical and mental development characteristics and personal dignity, and maximize their potential according to their needs, interests and hobbies.
(3) Consistency and diversity are combined. Parents should be consistent with school education and social education in the content, requirements and attitudes of family education. The formation of children's good habits, noble character and knowledge and ability needs edification in many aspects, which can only be completed through repeated tempering and perseverance.
(4) The combination of reward and punishment. Reward is a positive way of educational guidance. Parents should adopt the methods of spiritual rewards such as praise, encouragement and approval according to the actual situation, or take appropriate material rewards according to the age characteristics and physiological and psychological characteristics of children. However, this is only an external driving factor. Parents should also use appropriate language to truly realize the intrinsic value of their behavior with their children, and don't pursue rewards as the only goal, otherwise improper rewards will be counterproductive.