-Sister Sa.
Recently, I chatted with my neighbor Xiao Min and learned that her child had been criticized by the teacher once. Later, the child has been very reluctant to go to school.
"My face is too thin. I don't recognize him as bad. If I say it, I will become unhappy. If I give him some face, he will collapse. "
"The class is reading the text. As a result, he accidentally mispronounced a word and made a joke. He is anxious, nervous and even sad all day. "
"It's easy to be shy at ordinary times. I can't let go. It's really worrying! " .
She is afraid that the child is thin-skinned, sensitive and fragile, and can't stand the blow. When encountering difficulties, she only knows how to escape.
Because I often see in the news that some children can't stand the criticism of their parents and teachers and will try their best to die;
At present, children's ability to bear setbacks is very poor. When they encounter difficulties, they will give up on themselves, and they will also have serious diseases such as depression and irritability.
In fact, a person living in society, facing all kinds of problems and all kinds of people, is too thin to eat.
I once read a psychological study at Oxford University and pointed out:
"Children who are cheeky and laugh at themselves tend to be more confident, more resistant to stress and better at dealing with complex interpersonal relationships when they grow up."
Therefore, cultivating children's "thick skin" from an early age is like a gift for children, which will benefit children a lot in the future.
0 1 cheeky children are more optimistic and open-minded.
"Thick-skinned" children care more about a person's feelings, but usually they don't care too much about others' denial of peace and can look down on all this.
They can face everything around them with a slow attitude, avoid physical and mental fatigue overwhelmed by excessive sensitivity, and help to maintain a more optimistic attitude and state.
It is precisely because of this that they can look at what is happening around them with a "dull" attitude and avoid "physical and mental fatigue" caused by thinking too much. Such dullness can bring a more optimistic and positive attitude.
Yin in the entertainment circle was hacked to the bottom many years ago, and the fact that he can become popular again behind his back fully proves this truth.
In the program, he is always optimistic and positive, with a sense of joy and full of positive energy, and is the last in internal investment.
But he was completely unmoved, and even comforted Venus in turn:
"It doesn't matter, although I am the last one, but the starting point is low and the space is large. Chasing the light is to have the feeling of chasing. "
Behind a seemingly "cheeky" joke, it can reflect his optimism and openness. He is not afraid of teasing, making a fool of himself, being honest and lovely. No wonder many netizens are circled by him.
People often say: "cheeky children can better integrate into society and have better development in the future."
"Social cowardice", a popular hot word in Weibo recently, also accords with the characteristics of "thick-skinned" people.
Because thick-skinned people are more relaxed and unburdened in their interactions with others, they are more likely to open up the situation, express themselves more frankly, and are not too sensitive to criticism from others, so as to avoid embarrassing situations for both sides;
They not only dare to show weakness for help in front of others, but also can choose to refuse others more calmly. They never compromise to be good people.
And thick-skinned children will not be anxious to socialize because of one or two "social failures."
On the contrary, their fearless self-confidence makes people with social fears feel sincere envy, and such children have obvious advantages in interpersonal communication.
Shameless people are not afraid of difficulties.
In the program "Round Table School", both Professor Ma Weidou and Professor Li Meijin believe that children should be cultivated from an early age with "thick skin", and this kind of "frustration education" can better cultivate children's adversity quotient.
Once a thin-skinned child encounters setbacks, he feels humiliated and is hit hard. They are never willing to admit defeat and constantly deny themselves, so it is easy for them to walk into a dead end and make more extreme behaviors.
However, "cheeky" children can laugh at failure, because they know that a failure is meaningless, and as long as people are still alive, they will have a chance to start again. This is why Luo Yonghao can start all over again with a smile when he is in debt of 2 billion, while an ordinary person chooses to commit suicide because of hundreds of thousands of debts.
I remember when I was in junior high school, a female classmate in my class especially liked to raise her hand to answer questions, even if she couldn't. Every time she answers wrong, everyone will burst into laughter, but she never takes it to heart and will raise her hand to answer any questions immediately.
The teacher's evaluation of her is "stable mind, not afraid of difficulties".
After taking part in the work, whenever there is a complicated task, others will be afraid to take it, but she can always take the problem without saying anything, and then try her best.
Later, after working for several years, she was promoted to the top of the company, and her salary and living standard exceeded many students.
"cheeky" children dare to think and do, and their execution is very strong. While others are still hesitating, they have already taken action.
So "cheekiness" is actually a blessing. No matter in good times or bad times, children have a strong heart, so that they can live freely when they step into society in the future.
Therefore, face the setbacks in life with a calm mind.
People with thick skin will never miss an opportunity.
The host Sa Beining, whether in CCTV programs or other variety shows, can take his time, effortlessly, and radiate the light of the protagonist everywhere.
These achievements are not only because he graduated from Peking University with a higher starting point than others, but also because of his "thick skin".
When Sa Beining first arrived at Peking University, the school's radio station had just been established.
The teacher wanted to select a stationmaster. Sa Beining wanted to seize this rare opportunity, so he volunteered to recommend himself to the teacher.
The teacher asked him, "How is your Mandarin? Have you ever done it on the radio? "
"Yes, I worked as a radio station in high school, and my Mandarin is also very standard." The reality is that he has never done it on the radio, and his Mandarin is not standard.
Later, in Very Quiet Distance, Jing Li was surprised when he interviewed him: "God, you are so bold."
Sa Beining said, "I'm thick-skinned. What's there to be afraid of? This is a big deal, hehe. "
During his years in Peking University, he became the director of the radio station, the president of the drama club and the head of the choir.
It is because of these rich community experiences that he won an interview with the producer of the Legal Report.
Along the way, he has been "cheeky" countless times, because he knows in his heart that being cheeky can seize more opportunities and get closer to his dreams.
In fact, no matter in study or life, "cheeky" children are as good at expressing themselves as Sa Beining.
Whether it's running for the class committee or helping teachers and classmates, whether it's participating in activities or performing in public, "cheeky" children can do it without flinching.
Such children usually have more opportunities to show themselves and let others see themselves, so naturally they have more opportunities than others.
How is "thick-skinned" tempered?
Cultivate "cheeky" children from an early age so that they will not cry because of several criticisms from their parents and teachers, nor will they collapse and escape when they encounter difficulties, or watch the opportunity slip away in vain.
So how should parents cultivate their children to develop "thick skin" in their daily lives?
1. Understand children's emotions and encourage them to express themselves.
Children see the world differently from adults.
Small things in your eyes are as big as "owing millions" in your children's world.
We adults should understand children's emotions, but we should also give children the confidence to manage their emotions and get out of them.
At the same time, encourage children to express their ideas, don't worry about being laughed at by others, don't be afraid to leave a bad impression on others, and believe that they are the most unique and beautiful existence in the world.
2. "Desensitization" education, learn to laugh at yourself and be hacked.
No one is perfect. Parents should tell their children that no one is perfect and be brave enough to face their own shortcomings.
Professor Li Meijin used a word called "desensitization", that is, let the bad things adapt to it, instead of touching them all at once.
To make children understand that failure is very common in daily life, what we have to do is to teach children to look at things from another angle.
Tell your child that "life is still very long, and a little thing really can't change anything" to help him get rid of the worst possibility in his heart.
You can also joke about your shortcomings with your children. People who can laugh at themselves for being black will accept their imperfect selves more, and their personal pattern will be bigger in the future.
3. Build children's self-confidence and dare to try.
In addition, parents should affirm their children, support them and encourage them to try more. The main reason why children dare to challenge is that parents usually encourage and educate their children.
When encountering difficulties, parents will encourage their children to work together to overcome them;
In case of failure, parents will hug and comfort their children in time and give advice and guidance;
If successful, parents will applaud their children in surprise and give them the greatest praise.
Children who grow up in such an environment have a good attitude, strong stability and are not afraid of anything.
05 "thick-skinned" can better face the success or failure of life.
In fact, when children have a positive "thick skin", they can face the success or failure of life with an open-minded and optimistic attitude.
Moreover, this kind of "thick skin" is also a way of doing things, and it is also a means to win a better life.
Junichi Watanabe, a famous Japanese writer and doctor, wrote in his book:
"In the face of various problems, some people are miserable, some people don't care too much, and some people turn a blind eye.
People feel differently in this respect, but it is obvious that only by ignoring all kinds of unpleasant problems can we live a cheerful and generous life. "
A cheeky child seems heartless, but it shows that he is open-minded, tolerant, confident and brave in life and can adjust his mentality quickly.
Thick-skinned children can be positive and optimistic in the face of setbacks and adversity, even like spring. The more oppression, the greater the potential for their release.
A cheeky child can put down the fetters, take the initiative to fight for it, seize every good opportunity, and move towards his goal wholeheartedly.
Thick skin gives children hard armor. With this layer of protection, children can ride the wind and waves, overcome obstacles and thorns, and go forward in life without fear.
Dad welcomes you to actively pay attention to comment forwarding, so that more people can benefit. May you grow up happily with your children!