Women, when you read this article, do you remember how you told your man that he was going to be a father?
In China's family education, the role of "father" is often absent for various reasons, which is a topic worthy of discussion. Father Zhu is a new father, and the baby is less than 8 months old. Although my work is very busy, I still try to be a good father. I felt that I had a variety of mental processes after becoming a father, and I also found that I had too many shortcomings, so I founded the headline "Dad Learning" and the official WeChat account to discuss with you and learn how to be a good father.
On the first day of the opening, Dad Zhu first talked with you about several situations in which men are fathers:
The first one: take what you need.
As the name implies, I hope the stars look forward to the moon, and finally I hope the baby will arrive. The stories of men and women are often the following situations:
Situation 1: I have been married for many years and have been begging for children without success. See a doctor, find remedies, taste herbs, and finally get something.
Situation 2: newly married, no contraception, enjoying the passion and letting nature take its course, ready to accept the arrival of children at any time.
Situation 3: Both men and women who have not yet received the "legal cohabitation certificate" are finally holding the mentality of giving birth before getting married, or waiting nervously, or getting something in a hurry.
The father who gets what he wants, although he may not have a deep understanding of the role of "father" at first, or even don't know what to do at first, is generally psychologically prepared for the coming little life. This type of father usually has a good sense of responsibility, and most of the super dads who are deeply loved by mothers come from this type, which is a more reliable type among men.
The second type: unprepared.
Whether you are in a besieged city or wandering outside the city; Unprepared fathers basically have a common feature, that is, they enjoy the marriage treatment but do not bear the responsibilities and obligations of marriage.
For the promotion of fathers, they will feel that this matter is still far from themselves. No matter how the hostess hints, no matter how the family exerts pressure, the idea of having children will not stay in their minds for long. When one day I suddenly told him that he was going to be a father! It was like a bolt from the blue for them.
Once a classmate's friend cried with the hostess after learning that he was going to be a father, and had no idea what they should do next. So I went to ask my classmates for help.
If this type of father wants to be a competent father successfully, it is estimated that a large number of brain cells of the hostess are needed to set it up. Good training will naturally lead to good results. Otherwise, it is estimated that the consequences are worrying.
Third: it's none of your business.
Speaking of this type of father, it is estimated that women are already in Ma Benteng. Whether they are married or not, they may be excellent, or they may be very kind and obedient to the hostess, but they may hold an indifferent attitude in many things. Especially in the case of giving birth to a baby, the hostess is even more entangled. If they are not enthusiastic, he will never say that he doesn't want children; Let's just say they are enthusiastic. He is never in a hurry. Only the hostess is very spicy. People always think it has nothing to do with him. You want a child, no problem, I have no objection. But how to raise a child is your business. Don't come to me. I don't understand and don't want to do it.
A father who is above himself and has nothing to do with himself may have a natural fear or resistance to his children because of the influence of his childhood. Dare not touch, so subconsciously hang high to protect themselves. It may also be influenced by traditional culture, which thinks that giving birth and raising children is a woman's business, so it is good to make money by yourself.
Usually it is because there are some places in my mind that have not been turned around, so this state is caused. Women want to change them, no less than fighting a protracted war.
The fourth type: one-night stand locking type
This type of male and female host has more room for story imagination. The man and the woman may be people who have been in love for many years but are unwilling to enter the besieged city; It is possible that the woman has secretly loved the man for a long time, but the man has been indecisive; What's more, it is possible that the man and the woman are not familiar at all ... However, under certain circumstances, the one-night stand between the two sides eventually formed a secret knot. In order to take responsibility, the man had to silently walk into the marriage hall with the woman to take this responsibility.
How fathers who have been imprisoned by passion for one night can do the role of "father" well depends largely on their own sense of responsibility. People with a strong sense of responsibility will grow up slowly. Although they may not give the hostess high expectations, they can still live. If the sense of responsibility is not strong, the one-night passionate dad will gradually show his true colors in the future, and the painful marriage life of the hostess may begin at that time.
Here, I advise those women who try to lock men with one-night stands to use this trick with caution! Because a leopard cannot change his spots, even if you succeed in trapping him, you will get married. But in the long run, your risk is extremely high, and you may drink bitter wine yourself. In the end, not only will you be hurt, but innocent children will also be hurt.
Fifth: Be defeated and flee.
There are two words that are very suitable to describe the dads who fled-"love rat".
They may be sweet-talking and amiable to their hostess, but they have no sense of responsibility. Whenever something big happens, it often shows that the responsibility is not enough. When the hostess tells them that she is going to be a father, they may insist that the hostess abort the child because of inner panic or other reasons; What's more, they may choose to leave without saying goodbye and disappear mysteriously.
For a man who has no sense of responsibility and doesn't dare to take responsibility at all, when the hostess meets this type of man, instead of pestering him for a long time in an attempt to save his heart, it is better to get out of the predicament in time, get rid of the child, start cleaning up her mood and start a new life. Although this is a short-term painful method, long-term pain is better than short-term pain. A man who is obsessed with being defeated and fleeing may lose the happiness of her own life.