How do parents educate their children to face setbacks? 1. Parents should change their ideas and fully understand and attach importance to frustration education.
What we are facing now is a world full of competition and a society where the fittest survive. Untrained wings will be difficult to resist the storm of life; The flowers and plants cultivated in the greenhouse can't stand the heat and cold, and the birds under the eaves can't stand the storm.
Parents can't always be safe havens for their children. It is not uncommon for parents to spoil their children around us. Many parents blindly advocate appreciation education, such as giving their children vague praise, such as? Are you too smart? 、? You are the best? Such as excessive praise, let children develop? Praise dependence? . These behaviors of parents inadvertently deprive children of the opportunity to experience setbacks, so that children are not psychologically prepared to bear setbacks since childhood, resulting in children's life can only listen to good words, listen to no criticism, and lose their temper if they are slightly dissatisfied. Children who grow up in such an environment can easily deny themselves completely once they encounter setbacks, and it is often more difficult to rise from them. Timely and appropriate frustration education can promote the development of children's non-intellectual factors such as emotion, will and personality. Therefore, we should cultivate children's ability to resist setbacks at the early stage of their habits and character formation. The purpose of implementing frustration education is to make children dare to face and find ways to overcome setbacks and difficulties in life, experience the sense of accomplishment after overcoming setbacks and difficulties, and enhance their self-confidence.
Second, help children correctly understand setbacks.
Psychologist Maslow said: In life, it is inevitable to encounter setbacks. Frustration is not always a bad thing, but the attitude towards it. ? Therefore, children's correct cognition and understanding of frustration is the key to frustration education. Children are still young, and their understanding of things is concrete. When children face setbacks and difficulties, parents should let their children intuitively understand the development process of things, truly perceive setbacks, and realize that life has ups and downs, ups and downs, and joys and sorrows. Guide children to gradually realize the universality and objectivity of setbacks through repeated experiences, and truly feel that they may encounter difficulties in doing anything, so as to have a correct understanding of setbacks. Only in this way can we cultivate their ability of not being afraid of setbacks, overcoming difficulties, taking the initiative to accept new things and facing setbacks.
For example, after sleeping and getting up, the baby lost his temper because he couldn't button up all the time. At this time, parents should help their children adjust their emotions first, and then analyze the reasons with him. Why can't it be buckled properly? Are the buttons and buttonholes aligned? Remember not to scold or be sarcastic at this time. Then, you can teach your child how to button with nursery rhymes, such as? Small buttons, round, like looking for friends' eyes; Small hole, busy waving, welcome buttons to drill holes? 、? Grasp the button with the left hand and open the buttonhole with the right hand. Push and pull. Push and pull, okay? Encourage children to try again. In this way, in repeated practice, the child not only mastered the skills of buttoning, but also let the child understand that difficulties can be overcome through hard work, which will better help him face difficulties and setbacks correctly in the future.
Third, adopt scientific and reasonable methods and means to improve children's ability to resist setbacks.
(a) Set an example and build confidence in resisting setbacks.
Children in early childhood have a strong ability to observe and imitate. Parents' words and deeds, attitudes and reactions to setbacks in daily life will exert a subtle influence on children. Therefore, parents should dare to face setbacks, have the ability to resist setbacks, have the habit of positive thinking, and set a good example for optimistic emotional contagion children.
At the same time, parents can guide their children to learn many excellent children's literature works, such as cartoons, fairy tales and stories. We can let children know the growth and success of some celebrities in setbacks through chatting and talking, and guide them to follow the example of celebrities and not be afraid of setbacks; Besides, the companion is also a child's? Teacher? Parents should seize every opportunity to guide and encourage their children to learn from their friends' good behavior of bravely facing all kinds of difficulties and help them build up confidence in resisting setbacks.
(B) provide opportunities to cultivate the ability to resist setbacks.
The existing experience and knowledge you have personally experienced are often more profound. Therefore, provide children with opportunities to face setbacks, set up frustration situations, and let children dare to face and solve setbacks. Parents can always capture the educational opportunities contained in the little things around their children and provide them with opportunities to feel frustrated.
1. Frustrations in daily life
Parents should let their children do their own things, let them wash their hands, eat, brush their teeth, put on and take off their clothes, etc. And encourage children to communicate with their peers. In these daily activities, children often encounter difficulties and setbacks, such as grabbing toys while playing with their peers. At this time, we should not rush to do everything well, but strive to put the right? Decentralize? Give it to the child and consciously guide the child to find a way to solve it himself. In the process of eliminating these difficulties, he not only cultivated his ability to resist setbacks, but also increased his self-confidence.
2. Deliberately frustrated
Parents may wish to carefully design some frustration scenes in a planned way, so that children can experience setbacks and failures, and then use the situations to carry out frustration education, so that children can enhance their resistance to setbacks and enhance their psychological endurance to failures. For example, the mother of a 5-year-old girl said that whenever we take our children to the streets, we often worry that she will get lost. So, we taught her not to cry when she can't find her relatives, and go to the police uncle. Can she do it? Once in the street, she was having fun, and we suddenly hid to secretly observe her performance. When she found that she couldn't find us, she was frightened, then cried, and finally thought of looking for a police uncle. In order to ensure her safety, she walked in front and I followed at a distance. She went to the police, and I went to the police?
As we all know, games are children's favorite activities, so children's ability to resist setbacks can be improved through games. When parents take their children to play games, they should consciously give them some questions according to their characteristics, or when playing competitive games, they should artificially control the winning and losing order of the games, such as letting the children lose first and then win or win first and then win again, so that they can learn to adjust their mentality and dare to face setbacks in the game. You can also skillfully weave the setbacks that children encounter or may encounter in their daily lives into interesting games. For example, when playing hide-and-seek games, hide your children's favorite toys, briefly introduce the location, and let the children look for them in the happy atmosphere of the game at night, thus overcoming the timidity and fear of darkness unconsciously.
Delayed gratification, parents can consciously delay the satisfaction of their children's reasonable needs, from timely gratification to delayed gratification, and successfully meet the variable conditional gratification, that is, let the children work hard before meeting. When the child's requirements are not realized immediately, the child slowly learns to wait. From the first minute to a few minutes and then to longer, the child's anti-frustration ability will be gradually cultivated in step-by-step training.
3. Encourage in time to enhance the courage to resist setbacks.
When children have a negative reaction to the difficulties in life or study, parents should encourage them to face the difficulties in time and challenge them. A word? Can you do it? 、? Are you brave? 、? Well done? 、? Listen, you're doing great. You can help children build confidence and increase their courage to resist setbacks. For example, if a child walks on a balance beam and accidentally falls halfway, the child is afraid of difficulties. At this point, parents can touch his head and encourage him to walk again. When children overcome difficulties again and again, their courage and ability to resist setbacks will be enhanced again and again.
4. Appropriate criticism, enhance the endurance of setbacks.
Parents can criticize their children appropriately, so that they can clearly know what is right, what is wrong, what should be done and what should not be done, and criticism must not be accommodated! Necessary criticism can make children exercise their resistance to setbacks in the process of recognizing mistakes.
5. Warm counseling to help children face setbacks correctly.
In life, setbacks are everywhere. When children encounter setbacks that are difficult to solve, parents should pay attention to their hearts, guide them in time, help them face difficulties or setbacks correctly, and warm them with warmth.
In short, setbacks are objective. Although frustration has a great influence on people, its influence can be adjusted artificially. Parents should treat their children's setbacks with a normal heart, let them try, encourage them to practice and cultivate their ability to resist setbacks. Only in this way can children have strong wings and fly farther, more steadily and higher in the sky of life.