Xiao Yu's behavior is a poor expression of "adversity quotient", that is, he lacks the ability to face, bear and surpass setbacks. Kohane's poor adversity quotient made him unable to bear the pressure of setbacks.
Yu once said: It is most important to pass on EQ and adversity quotient to children.
If children's adversity quotient power is not improved, it will have a negative impact on their character formation and future life path.
0 1?
Children's "adversity quotient" is very poor, which may be due to the following reasons:
1. Parental overprotection
On weekdays, some parents may take care of their children too carefully and give them everything for fear that they will suffer. In such a pampered and overprotective environment, children can't feel the wind and rain outside, and they have certain deviations in their cognition of themselves and their surroundings. When frustrated, he found that the actual situation was different from his own imagination, and there was a great sense of gap. Because children have never experienced setbacks, they will be at a loss when they are hit and can't bear any setbacks and failures.
I can't get rid of my bad mood.
When children are frustrated, they will have a series of bad emotions, such as anger, sadness and sadness. They have been standing in frustration and can't get rid of their bad emotions. They are immersed in emotions and cannot extricate themselves. Even if it is a small setback, they can magnify it. They don't know how to deal with it. They can only stand where they are and have been troubled by bad emotions.
3. I don't know how to solve setbacks correctly
In the face of setbacks, children with poor "adversity quotient" have a strong sense of helplessness, and they don't know from which angle to break through and how to deal with setbacks. The next time you face setbacks, you will shrink back and avoid setbacks. Children who blindly declare that they have given in to setbacks will form a cowardly and timid character.
02?
▌ In what ways can the "mushroom law" help children?
1. The concept of mushroom law
Mushroom law, also known as germination law, refers to a process of human growth.
The process of mushroom cultivation is to put mushrooms in a dark corner and pour excrement on them. Just like mushrooms in cultivation, people who have just entered the society will not be taken seriously or are basically doing odd jobs. They are forced to accept and bear all kinds of accusations and criticisms for no reason, and they can't get the necessary support and guidance, which belongs to the stage of self-seeking.
Children's growth process also has the mushroom law. At the beginning, they need to accept some setbacks and failures. Only after going through that process, enduring the education of resisting setbacks, and then growing up to a certain stage, can children be cultivated with various abilities, and others can attach importance to their children, recognize and affirm their own Excellence, just like Feng Menglong's poem "Plum blossoms are not cold."
Face setbacks bravely.
Balzac once said: "Frustration and misfortune are the steps of genius;" The baptism water of believers; The priceless treasure of capable people; The bottomless pit of the weak. "
In the face of setbacks and failures, we must first summon up courage to face them. Courage can multiply our strength at some time, and people will stimulate their potential in adversity. In the movie Nezha, Nezha Jr. of Nezha was born with limited freedom, discriminated and hated by villagers, and had no friends, and had been suffering from various setbacks. When fate came, courage gave him great strength, enabling him to control his own destiny and overcome difficulties.
4. Improve the ability to withstand setbacks in adversity.
People can't get rid of the initial culture stage like mushrooms when they grow up. In this kind of adversity, we must maintain our willpower and persist in confronting setbacks in order to achieve good growth. Children should be able to endure all kinds of things that temper their minds in adversity and constantly improve their ability to solve difficulties. No matter what setbacks they face, they have confidence and firm willpower to deal with them.
03?
How can parents help their children rebuild "adversity quotient"?
1. Establish a sense of frustration and treat setbacks correctly.
Kōnosuke Matsushita once said: There are ups and downs in one's life. It will not be like the rising sun forever, nor will it be miserable forever. Repeated ups and downs, for a person, is a temper. Therefore, those who float on it need not be proud; Those who sink to the bottom need not be pessimistic. We should be honest and modest, optimistic and enterprising, and go forward bravely.
Success and failure in life are contradictory, and the contradiction is unified, which means that failure will not be eliminated forever, and setbacks will always be around. But failure and success can be successfully transformed under certain conditions, which requires children's "adversity quotient" and the ability to bear failure. When setbacks accumulate to a certain extent, success will be achieved.
Parents should help their children build up frustration and give them frustration education. When children face setbacks, they are no longer ignorant and at a loss. Keep a positive attitude, accept challenges and temper in adversity, improve the ability to cope with setbacks, explore their own potential and discover their self-worth.
2. Encourage children to actively find ways to overcome suffering.
In addition to the determination to deal with setbacks, we must also have the ability to deal with setbacks. Parents can give their children the experience of setbacks from easy to difficult according to their psychological endurance, let them taste "bitterness" and gradually improve their "endurance" to setbacks.
Parents should also encourage their children to solve the difficulties they have to face independently, let them observe the setbacks first, and then find ways to find various solutions to the difficulties step by step. In this process, parents can help, but let the children know that some things need to be faced by themselves, not others, and they have to bear their own responsibilities.
3. Let children make more friends, which helps to improve their frustration ability.
Ba Jin once said: Friendship in life, like a bright lamp, illuminates my soul and makes my existence a little glorious.
Children can improve their personality and character in interpersonal communication. In the face of setbacks and difficulties, children's bad emotions can be vented among friends, and some solutions may be obtained. With the encouragement and support of friends, children will have certain backing, face setbacks bravely and actively, and improve their frustration ability.
When the child's "adversity quotient" ability is not good, parents should help the child to face setbacks correctly, improve the child's frustration ability, help the child through the "mushroom period", and let him break through the predicament and realize his self-worth.