1. When children start asking for help.
"Parents should judge whether their children are really bullied, because some parents like to ask their children if someone is bullying you at school. This will prevent children from being bullied and tell parents that they are being bullied. If parents don't ask, and children take the initiative to say that they are bullied at school, then parents should pay attention.
Generally speaking, if the child feels seriously injured, the old teacher will take the initiative to communicate with both parents. If the teacher is negligent and there is no gap, parents can also take the initiative to communicate with the old teacher. I believe that the old teacher will not have a problem with parents or children because of this kind of thing.
2. When children and classmates are at odds for a long time.
If children always say that they are bullied, when asked, they always say that they are worried about not getting along well with their classmates, or that they are sad because of bad relations, then parents should pay attention.
3. When certain types of bumps appear repeatedly.
I asked the specific details of the child and found that it was similar over and over again, so it is a bit unreasonable to say that these are accidental bumps, and there should be problems.
4. When you are in danger or come back with injury.
If you see that the contradiction between children has escalated into violent force, such as hitting and biting people, it is obvious that someone will be hurt, and parents should immediately intervene to stop it. However, don't repel the attacker at once, but first rescue and comfort the injured child.
It is understandable to ask the child when he comes back with an injury, but how to deal with it and to what extent, we should discuss with the child at home and fully respect the child's own wishes.
Children always have a sad face.
There are many reasons why children are sad, such as being criticized by the old teacher, ignoring their grades, and having spears and shields with their classmates.
You can gently say to your child, "You are always worried recently, and your mother/father is worried. You can tell your mother/father anything that happened. " You don't force your child to speak out and allow him to keep a secret, but it also expresses a desire to listen. Your children will feel your respect and care. This is not only conducive to finding the contradiction between children and classmates, but also conducive to parent-child relationship ~
What can't and should parents do when they intervene?
1. blame each other's children
Instead, it stimulated contradictions. This makes children lose the opportunity to solve their own problems, and the way parents solve problems violently will also have a bad influence on children.
2. Apologize for your child.
Most of these parents are modest and reasonable, but they don't know that such "modesty" means giving up a good opportunity to cultivate children's sense of responsibility, which will also hurt their self-esteem and confuse their sense of right and wrong.
If your child is an attacker, first distract the attacked child, then pull your child aside, and then calmly, without anger, simply explain that his behavior is unacceptable and tell him, "You kicked Xiaodong and he hurts." You can warn him of the consequences of attacking others again: "If you do this again, we will go home." After issuing such a warning, you must keep your word.
Then let the children do the apology themselves, which is more helpful to cultivate their sense of responsibility.
Teach children to hide.
First of all, this method may not be able to respond to children.
Besides, when your child is bullied, running away is not the way. Often some parents say to their children, "We can't afford to hide." But this is not a good idea. After a long time, children will shrink back and even become withdrawn, indifferent and anxious.
When two children are in conflict, first of all, don't criticize the strong in front of the weak. Because the more children are criticized, the weaker they will appear. Letting the strong get out of the way first will arouse his pity and make him pity the weak children. As long as he has this compassion, he can be made to apologize and leave. Then we will study how to deal with this strong one with the weak children. Ask him how and why you were beaten, and then study how we can pay him back the next time he hits you.
5. Always ask children if they have been bullied.
Parents always ask their children if they have been bullied at school, which will not only mislead their children's current psychology, but also be detrimental to their long-term psychological development.
In short, if you really want to participate, parents must not be one-sided. Be sure to analyze rationally, control your emotions, find the root of the problem, and then solve it calmly. We should have a caring attitude, not only to our own children, but also to other people's children.
Parents solve problems and children learn while watching. If parents can deal with problems rationally and strategically, children can also learn a lot.