We can often see such a family life scene: after dinner, children turn their heads to watch TV or go out to play, but parents are busy cleaning up; There is delicious food at home, and parents always let their children taste it first, but children rarely ask their parents to eat it first; Once a child is ill, his parents will be very busy and take care of him in every possible way, while his parents are unwell and his children seldom greet him. Therefore, we must not neglect the good habit of cultivating children to respect their elders and honor their parents.
An investigation report on the only-child family shows that the only-child generally shows great advantages in the level of intellectual development and physical condition, but there are many shortcomings in morality and behavior habits. Due to the doting and connivance of adults, they lack sympathy, understanding and care for the people around them, including their parents. The main reason for these shortcomings of children is the influence of family environment and education. As the only child in the family, parents devoted all their love to him (her), bought him (her) delicious food and fun, and tried their best to meet his requirements. Because there are no brothers and sisters to share, and parents neglect family interactive education, children will gradually develop the negative consequences of "self-centeredness" through caressing, even unwilling to give love and lack filial piety to their biological parents. This is a weak link in the current one-child education and a big misunderstanding in family education, which is extremely unfavorable to the future development of children. Therefore, parents should attach importance to the cultivation of filial piety for their children ideologically. "It's not too late to mend." Judging from the characteristics of children's physical and mental development, it is entirely possible to cultivate children's filial piety. A large number of research data show that childhood is an important period for children to receive edification, form good moral character and behavior habits, and cultivate personality. We must grasp this golden period of education.
School is the main position of habit education and moral quality education, and it is every teacher's unshirkable responsibility to teach children well. At present, our school is educating children to learn and practice the disciple rules. The book Disciples Rules is based on the life principle taught by Confucius, the most holy teacher. It teaches us: first of all, we should be filial to our parents and care for our brothers and sisters in our daily life; Secondly, in all daily language and behavior, we should be cautious and do what we say; It is very important to get along with the public in an equal and friendly manner, to be close to others with kindness and to learn from others. If you have extra time and energy, you should learn the Six Arts and other useful knowledge. As we all know, a person's happiness and success are based on morality and conduct, so knowledgeable and wise parents must take the way of sages as the guiding principle to educate their children, and through learning and implementing the teachings of sages, let their children get happiness and success all their lives, and even become saints and sages. When a child has received a good moral education since childhood and formed a good moral character, he can be liked and respected by others wherever he goes, and naturally he can attract noble people to help him and promote his career success and happiness.
Then, as parents, how to cultivate children to develop good habits of filial piety? I think we should work hard in the following aspects:
1. Example is more important than words.
Successful family education is often not a serious warning, a nagging admonition, or a complete set of theoretical and systematic courses. The achievement process of family education has a subtle influence on children in parents' behaviors and manners. Children are the mirror of parents, and their behavior can clearly reflect the code of conduct of family members. Therefore, in order to make children have good quality, parents' "teaching" is secondary and "doing" is primary.
There is such an advertisement: a young mother who just got off work finished housework and brought water to wash the feet of the elderly. The old man said to her, "have a rest, son!" " Don't wear yourself out. "She smiled and said," mom, not tired. "The young mother's words and deeds were seen by her son who was only 3 or 4 years old. The son silently brought a basin of water. The youngest son walked towards his mother with a basin of water. The water in the basin spilled all over the child, but the child still had a bright face. Put water at mother's feet and wash her feet. The advertising picture is fixed here, and the slogan reads: "Parents are the best teachers for children".
There is another story worth learning: once upon a time, there was a middle-aged couple who were very unfilial to their elderly parents. They drove the old man to a shabby hut and gave him some spoiled food in a small wooden bowl every meal. One day, when they saw their son carving a piece of wood, they asked the child what he was carving. The child said, "carve a wooden bowl, and it will be easy to use when you are old." At this time, the middle-aged couple suddenly woke up and hurriedly invited their parents back to the main room to live with them, threw away the small wooden bowl and took out the best meals at home for the elderly. As a result, the children changed their attitude towards their parents and the three generations lived in harmony. It can be seen that the role model of parents has a great influence on children. Yes, that's how filial piety is learned and passed down. Filial piety is cultivated under the example of parents. Therefore, in order to cultivate children's filial piety and know how to love, parents should first set an example for their elders, because "teaching by example is more important than teaching by example."
But many parents in life are just the opposite. When the whole family is sitting together for dinner, you can observe whether the first chopsticks are for you or for your lover. Is it for grandparents, parents-in-law, or your lovely baby? There is something delicious, and I can't bear to eat it myself. I have to give it to the children first. Euphemistically called: love, in fact, this is hurt. As a result, children do not know how to be modest and grateful from an early age. Do you remember the story of the famous fish head? A mother told her children to eat more fish, saying that fish heads are delicious and like to eat fish heads. As a result, she ate fish heads all her life. When she was ill, the rice cooked by the child was actually a plate of fish heads.
In fact, we should not only express our love for children, but also teach them the concepts of sharing, gratitude and filial piety. Don't say it doesn't matter, it's subtle. Therefore, at home, I suggest that if you have something delicious, give it to your elders first. Even if you take a bite, it's your child's turn. Sometimes you can "grab" something from her. Let her know that everyone loves to eat good food because of her care. She should be grateful, not take them for granted. In this regard, I would like to emphasize three more points:
(1) Don't say anything disrespectful to your elders in front of your children;
(2) In front of children, don't contradict your elders loudly, no matter what the reason is;
(3) Children are filial to their elders. They should accept it happily and praise it in time. It's best to praise everyone.
Plant the seeds of filial piety in children's hearts from childhood, and when children grow up, it is time for you to harvest.
2. Start small and start small.
Let children develop the good habit of filial piety to their parents, and start from small things to shape and cultivate them. For example, educate children to care about their parents' health, help parents share their worries and help parents do housework. Parents should be patient when children can't do it. Don't criticize the child for doing something wrong. Children should be praised and encouraged when they are done well. Only through personal practice and experience can children feel the hardships of their parents and taste the happiness that their parents have paid for others. When children's concept of "my parents raised me, I should do more for them" is gradually formed, children will have a sense of obligation and responsibility for life. This is what many children lack now. Because they usually only know how to accept love, don't know how to give love, and don't learn to care and appreciate. Parents should never think like this: children are still young, and their main task is to study. You don't have to do anything as long as you study hard. This is a wrong idea. Don't take academic performance as the only evaluation criterion. There are many standards for a good boy, and filial piety is an important standard. As the saying goes, "Look at the old at 3 years old, and look at the old at 7 years old." Because habits become nature, bad habits formed from childhood are hard to change when they grow up.
Step 3 learn to be grateful
Let children learn to be grateful. Parents should consciously let their children understand their parents' hard work, it is not easy to earn money to support their families, their love for their children, and their parents also need their children's care and love. Therefore, parents may wish to tell their children the things of the day: getting up, cooking, washing clothes, tidying up housework, going to work and so on. Let children realize how they care about their children, such as: children are sick, how parents feel distressed, how to stay up late to take care of their children ... The details are the most infectious. Knowing how to be grateful is gratitude, and gratitude is gratitude. Let children form the good habit of caring, loving and caring for their parents from an early age, such as combing their mothers' hair and giving their fathers a back rub.
Make family rules
State-owned laws and family rules. Without rules, there would be no Fiona Fang. A family needs democracy, not paternalism, and necessary family rules are indispensable. Parents can discuss with their children and formulate a code of conduct for "honoring parents". I put forward "five wants and five don 'ts" for parents' reference. The "five essentials" are to understand, be close to, care for, respect and be considerate of parents. The "five noes" are: don't interfere with parents' work and rest, don't make parents angry, don't contradict their parents, don't monopolize their parents, and don't compare with others. In addition, children are also required to: ① remember their parents' birthdays; 2 Do your own thing.
5. Parent-child interaction
Parents should communicate with their children more, play games and engage in activities together: parents and children read an article and a book together, such as: Disciples' Rules, filial piety is priceless; Sing a song with the children. Such as: Letter from Home, Visit Home Often, Mother by Candlelight, Mother's Kiss, Ode to Mother and so on. Recite a poem with your child. Such as: wandering sons, mother's rainy season, mother, my patron saint and so on In the activities of parent-child interaction, we can not only enjoy family happiness, but also cultivate children's good moral character of respecting their elders in a subtle way.
Dear parents, children are our future and hope, and it is our duty to educate and cultivate children! You are all excellent. I believe that as long as you have the heart, you will be respected by your children. With the filial piety of children, I believe your family life will be happy!