Look at Chinese studies and talk about children's education-leave the initiative to children!

Oh, slow mom

April 13

Many treasure moms ask me what parenting books I have read. In fact, I have read very few parenting books, only four, and I haven't really finished reading them. Some modern works talk too much. To tell the truth, it really takes a lot of patience to finish reading them. The main guiding ideology of my radish education still comes from Laozi and the Analects of Confucius. Therefore, even if I have a little knowledge, I intend to write my knowledge and continue this series.

A total of 30 spokes make a hub, which is useless for a car. Think of it as a device. When it is useless, it will be useful. Carve the family into a room, and when it has nothing, it has a room. Therefore, thinking is beneficial, but thinking is not.

-"Lao Zi"

Wheels, utensils and houses are useful only because they are empty, so "having" can create conditions and "having" can produce effects.

My understanding of this sentence has two aspects.

First of all, we can make rules and create conditions for children, just like building a shelf for children, but specifically, this space should be reserved for children. If we help the child decide everything and make her obey, it is tantamount to giving the child a solid house, and the child can't really "live" in the world we built for her.

We should talk about this every time we have dinner with grandma. I feel like I can't do it without saying it. Because grandma watched the radish eat, she said from the first bite, tell the radish to eat first, eat vegetables first, eat some meat after eating vegetables, blow while it is hot, drink soup, don't scoop more at a time, and chew slowly. . . . Seeing the radish eating slowly, I asked: Grandma feeds you. A meal is ordered from beginning to end. I can't help but stop loudly: can she eat whatever she wants?

Grandma loves carrots, but the way is debatable. She used to do this to me, and now she will tell me which dish to eat, or even which is better. I told my grandmother that I had always been anorexic. I hate eating. I don't eat 80% of the food. My eating habits are terrible. But did my grandmother ever wonder if it had anything to do with the way I was fed when I was a child?

Let's treat our children by putting up airs. Just like eating, tell her the rules of eating: sit still and eat by yourself, don't play with toys, don't run around, and finish the dishes served to her. How to eat, even how much to eat, let her decide for herself. In this way, children will take eating as their own business and do it well within the rules. If we don't give the child a chance to experience it for herself, how can she grasp the degree of behavior?

Radish has always been a child with strong self-control From the perspective of my education, I have always treated her like this. I made the rules and followed her how to implement them within the scope of the rules. The children educated in this way all actively abide by the rules, and her understanding of behavior boundaries is clear. Moreover, she has the initiative and judgment. Slowly, even without external coercion, her behavior can be positive and gentle.

The same is true in learning. We can create the scope and conditions for children to learn, and even provide her with learning methods for reference, but the initiative should be left to children.

Secondly, I have another understanding of this sentence. There should be room for children's education. Not too tight and too practical. Children have no room for manoeuvre, just like making a solid vessel, things can't be put in. How can you ask your child to enter the world you gave her norms?

Therefore, I have a good grasp of the general direction of radish, and the rest is very loose. For example, I will take the initiative to give her snacks, watch TV, buy her toys, and just master the degree. For example, a lollipop a day, watching TV for half an hour a day, buying a toy a month, and making an agreement with her, her wishes are met to some extent, and in turn she is willing to abide by the rules. Even, I tolerate her small temper, small rebellion and small destruction. There is no big mistake in behavior quality. I won't be too hard on her, just stating the facts. And my tolerance, in return, really flattered me.

In short, parents are actually just a supporting role for their children. We can build a world framework for children, but what is the specific world? We need to let the children build it brick by brick, so the world they build is their own, isn't it?