When Professor Li Meijin participated in CCTV's "Everybody Say" program, an audience asked:

If one day your children come to you and say, my classmates bully me and they hit me.

You will tell him: call back, son, I support you?

Professor Li replied firmly: call back, I support it!

Professor Li explained: The education we are receiving now is more to let children reflect on themselves when they encounter problems, and condone some bad behaviors, which eventually leads to the continuous occurrence of campus violence.

The most important thing is that parents and teachers educate and guide their children.

Professor Li gave an example of his little granddaughter:

The little granddaughter just went to kindergarten for a month, and was picked up by the little boy and hit the ground, hitting the stool and her forehead was swollen.

Professor Li told his little granddaughter: If this happens again, you can't get rid of it, just grab his ear and pull it to both sides. If you pull him, you will be put down.

Professor Li gave his parents two pieces of advice:

First, your children should not bully others. This is a family education problem. You must let your children know what you can't do. The stronger you are, the less you can bully people who are weaker than you.

Second, your children should not be bullied by others. You can let them do physical exercise from an early age. Exercise is explosive, and it is not easy to be bullied by others.

At the same time, remind parents that teaching children to "call back" is a solution.

But it depends on the situation, and you can't retaliate against others.

My son took his children to the playground when he was over 3 years old. That weekend, many children played ocean balls together and played around.

One of the children is also involved, because they are fighting and don't know who is throwing who.

The child and his son had a good time. Suddenly his grandfather called the child over, and I sat next to him, but he didn't know I was a mother.

His grandfather pointed to my son and said that he just threw the ball to you. Now you fight back.

After that, he threw the ball at my child.

My son is still very happy and thinks that we are playing together and don't care at all. While I watched and said nothing, I thought the children could have a good time.

After a while, his grandfather pointed to my son and said, don't throw others, just hit him. He just hit you.

As a result, the child went up and pushed my son directly to the ground, almost hitting his head on the ball machine. Fortunately, there is a treasure mother beside to help the child.

My son came running in fear and lay in my arms.

I comforted him for a while. When he is in a better mood, I said, son, you play with other children. We don't bully others, but if someone deliberately bullies you and hits you, you have to fight back, otherwise he will always bully you and think you are too weak.

After the son went back, the child kept throwing the ball, didn't pay attention on the stairs, and pushed it. As a result, my son knocked him down and came back to find grandpa in tears.

His grandfather saw this situation and said directly, I'm watching you. You told me to go back, but you can't hit me.

I was angry, too, so I quarreled with him because he had no reason. Many people heard and saw him, whispered about him and told their children not to play with him.

Later, she was taken away by her grandmother, who apologized and took her away.

Some things we can tolerate, and some things we must fight back, otherwise they will be arrogant.

For example, if this grandfather teaches his children like this, his children will be bullied by others without his care. Not everyone will let you go. As a child's grandfather, you can't be with your child anytime and anywhere.

We don't need to be kind to infinity, but we must "fight back".

Many times, our parents will let their children reflect after fighting with others. I remember when I was a child, if my brother was fighting with others outside, the first question my mother asked when she came home was: Why did she fight with others? There must be you. ...

Basically it's the same routine every time. My brother didn't listen at all, and the number of fights never decreased. Once, my brother was beaten by my mother, and then he shouted: You never asked me if I was bullied, but you always blamed me. ...

In fact, now I understand that it is really hard to be bullied and punished when I go home.

So what can be done to prevent children from such problems? Professor Li Meijin gave these suggestions:

First, teach children not to bully others.

Don't be like the grandfather I mentioned above, let your children take advantage everywhere and use them to bully others.

You should let your child know that some things can't be done, and let him learn to put himself in the shoes: are you very sad when you are bullied? Then you bully others, and others will feel very sad.

Second, let children have a sense of self-protection.

1, many times we don't bully others, but others bully us. Then, as I said above, children play together, and it's not who bullies who. In fact, our parents don't need to "control" their children too much, because the children think it is a happy thing, and no one bullies anyone.

However, if something really happens, parents must not tolerate it. At this time, let him understand that not everyone can be bullied by you.

2. If the child looks weak, doesn't know how to fight back when bullied, and only evades or asks adults for help, then we can give the child more physical exercise or give him Sanda or something to make his muscles strong. Once his muscles are strong, he won't hide.

Third, let the children know the bottom line.

The way of "calling back" is also divided into occasions and types. When playing with you, even if someone touches you, call back.

My little nephew had a similar situation in the first grade. When I first went to school, my brother often said: no fighting at school.

As a result, within a week, my nephew was scratched on his face and body by other children. Go home and ask him what's going on. He said someone scratched him, but he didn't hit anyone.

My brother was very angry and said, if others hit you, you should fight back, and you can't let others bully you.

As a result, he fights with others every day, and the teacher calls him over. Many times, someone accidentally touches him, and he thinks someone else is hitting him.

In fact, there are many such examples, because the child's heart is very simple and there is not so much consideration.

Therefore, before you tell your child, you must let the child know what kind of bullying you are, what you have to "fight back" and what you can't do, so that the child has a bottom line.

In fact, many mothers will encounter similar problems. We must face up to these children's problems, and we can't say: You are useless, won't you call back? Next time you don't hit him, I'll hit you ... and so on.

The more you say that, the more scared the child is. What we have to do is patiently teach children how to deal with problems, solve problems and when to call back.