I remember when I first sent my children to school, they always cried and cried, unwilling to leave their parents. We always listen to them crying at the school gate. Children are attached to their parents, which I believe parents all know, but don't parents also have this kind of psychology to their children? Some parents once asked Lemon a similar question. She said that it would have been a good thing to send the children to kindergarten, and the children were also very cooperative. When she found that the child came into the classroom naturally without turning her head, she suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. This is a very disappointing feeling. She thought, she has paid so much for her children. Why can children now let go of their hands so directly and leave for another place?

Sometimes, it is precisely because children depend directly on their parents that we tend to overlook the fact that parents who send their children to school are also reluctant to leave their children. And when you find yourself going through the scene of sending your child away, you will still be sad even though you know you will see him at night.

This is also the topic that Lemon wants to talk to you today. After all, children can't live without their parents, and parents can't live without their children.

In fact, parents can't bear to part with their children, which is the inevitable law of life growth: it's not that children can't live without you, but that you can't live without children as parents.

I think this state should be said that most parents have it. So why do you have such psychology and behavior?

The reason is that satisfaction and being satisfied are always in constant balance.

According to developmental psychology, children are mostly in the period of unconscious adaptive learning, and they will accept whatever they see, hear or be arranged. At this time, the most basic thing is the care and dedication of parents. Similarly, parents think that children can't do anything at this stage, so they will unconsciously think that "children don't need their parents' help all the time." Therefore, no matter how old and capable the child is, as long as the child has difficulties, I am the parent of the child and need to bear it for the child!

This is our reluctance and dependence on children, and we have been enjoying the satisfaction of "satisfying children".

In fact, with children's self-growth, many things can be undertaken by themselves. If parents are more and more possessive, children's "self-development" will be hindered. For example, it doesn't matter if I don't do this. Anyway, my parents will come to help me in the end. The emergence and practice of this idea.

Children's independence must be cultivated from an early age. For example, when the child's language develops rapidly at the age of 4, you can try to let the child personally communicate with the salesperson to buy. In adolescence, children can be more involved in some family decisions, so that children have a sense of participation, and children are also a member of this family.

So at this moment, if you have children at home, you might as well take this opportunity to reflect on your educational philosophy. Do you pay too much attention to children's words and deeds? Do you rely too much on what you do for your children and don't pay attention to what your children have developed?

Finally, lemon also wants to say that children and parents are inevitably interdependent, but as long as this dependence is done properly, you don't need to worry about this idea. On the contrary, it may bring your parent-child relationship and self-growth closer because of this attachment.