1. has an acceptable environment.
From the perspective of psychological needs, the satisfaction of security and belonging is the most important demand of children of this age.
Having an accepted environment can make them feel welcome, accepted and recognized, which will increase their sense of security and give them a sense of belonging.
In this environment, what children need most is the acceptance of the family environment, followed by the acceptance of the outside world.
2. Have your own non-school group.
Why is it a non-school group? One of the most important reasons is that the evaluation standard of the school is single.
The evaluation criteria of non-school groups are different from those of schools. Suppose a child's grades are not excellent, but his teamwork ability is strong, then the child will be recognized in this group.
And having your own non-school group can also avoid letting children grow up in a single evaluation environment. Children need to know where they shine and what makes them different.
3. Have an environment where you can speak freely.
With the growth of age, children have more and more secrets, because they are very clear about their parents' expectations, so they are reluctant to tell their parents a lot.
Therefore, it is necessary to have an environment for children to speak freely and speak their minds, especially if parents think it is bad. Such an environment can help children improve their independent thinking and communication skills.
Such an environment may not be a family environment, because children are very concerned about their image in the eyes of their parents.
4. Have your own spiritual mentor
Children aged 6- 12 need a spiritual leader, especially after 10.
I can grow up with my child, discuss the future with him and ask me what I want and why. What should I do? Can give advice or tips to children.
This tutor can be a parent, a teacher, a family member or a professional.
5. Have the habit of expressing your thoughts
Parents need to help their children gradually establish the habit of expressing their ideas. Respond when the child asks why, or we can often ask the child "why", so that we can know the reason why he made a decision and even find a better solution with him.
6. Have the experience of constantly exploring yourself.
The question we have been looking for all our lives is: Who am I? What do I want? What do I like?
We will see that people with a strong sense of happiness will not pursue things that they do not desire but are imposed by others.
What most people in today's society want is usually what this society wants us to want, not what we really want.
Not knowing what you want will make you very confused, especially after puberty, children will get lost in this state of mind and have various behavioral problems.
So what should parents do? The best way is to ask why, and through constant questioning and thinking, meet the needs of children to constantly explore themselves.
Man's greatest happiness comes from knowing what he wants and realizing it!
7. Have the experience of reading "thick" books.
With regard to "reading", children have accumulated since childhood. By the fifth and sixth grades, especially after the sixth grade, they need to have such a reading experience and finish a "thick" book by themselves.
First, it marks that his reading ability has reached the point where he can finish reading a big book;
Second, it marks that his brain physical ability has developed to a certain extent, and he can study better and more effectively, that is, he can study quietly;
Third, he can turn reading into a long-term job.
Therefore, it is very valuable for children to have a long-term reading experience.
8. Experience in setting goals, planning and achieving goals.
From the age of 9, children need to have this experience, make their own goals or plans, and achieve them.
For children, the greatest value is that when setting goals, their learning ability will be improved and various methods will be developed to stimulate self-realization of happiness.
The process of completing the goal plan can also let parents observe the child's state: whether he knows himself or not, thus helping him grow up more effectively.
9. Close contact with nature.
People need to have the closest relationship with nature, but now life has more constraints on the contact between people and nature.
For creatures like humans, it is particularly important to get in touch with nature. One thing that this intimate contact brings to children is to perceive the growth and changes of nature. The second is responsibility, including responsibility for animals and plants.
Children need to know that human beings are responsible for nature.
10. Have a favorite and persistent sport.
Sports and art are human emotions from the heart, and they are also one of the ways for people to vent their emotions. Exercise gives parents and children more non-learning topics, which will enhance parent-child communication. Therefore, it can be said that exercise is the source of happiness. For the growth of children, this matter contains two meanings:
Children need to have sports that they like to watch, and they may not be able to do them.
There is one thing in the world that can make you feel particularly happy without spending money, and that is sports. Whether it's the Olympic Games, the Asian Games, the championships, or even other events ... when watching the games, you will have a boiling passion, experience spiritual pleasure and have more expectations for life. But some of these likes have been cultivated since childhood, which is what parents at home should do.
Children need to have a persistent exercise.
Persistence is the best embodiment of sportsmanship. Persistent exercise is a kind of socialization. Sports can help you make many like-minded friends, and everyone can play together, which will also expand your children's social life.
Therefore, let children have their own favorite or persistent sports, and they should be excavated when they are 6- 12 years old.
1 1. Regular activities.
Regular participation in activities will help each family build its own culture.
For children, it will become the culture of every family to participate in some activities regularly every year, such as travel, activities and competitions ... which is especially important for families.
Let children know more about nature, appreciate the natural scenery of foreign countries, and come to Sri Lanka with their children for a parent-child trip! The Qingda Activity Alliance will experience a more authentic Sri Lanka with you! Close to all kinds of turtles and elephants! Feel the joy of the moment when the turtle breaks out of its shell, and feel the responsibility of releasing the turtle in the sunset! Make friends with the elephant, take him for a walk and bathe him! You can also make friends with local children and enjoy taking classes together and learning handicrafts!
Why is it so important in primary school? Because children reach puberty after six years of primary school, we will find that carrying out some non-learning topics and non-learning activities with children when they are young can help children spend a good time with their parents during adolescence.
Therefore, regular participation in activities will become a family culture, and children will know that there is more than just learning in life.
12. Have your own collection
Whether it is collecting match skins, stamps, game cards, trademarks, Barbie dolls, etc. , can help children build their own hobbies and build their own world.
Have your own collection to help children build their self-awareness, what I like, and in the process of continuous collection, they will also build their sense of purpose;
When you show your collection to others, it will also give your child a sense of accomplishment;
Collecting can also find fun in life and create new topics, which children need when they are 6- 12 years old, teaching and infiltrating children how to live.
13. Experience in hands-on production.
A child can make something by himself and exercise his practical ability. More importantly, he can finish his own work independently and participate in such a process, which is very valuable for his satisfaction with a sense of accomplishment.
14. Have contact with society.
Every child is a social person and has to face the whole society. They should know themselves in the society, get in touch with different people and cultures, and have their own summary of their feelings.
Children in China have only one identity, students. Children should be social people, but our children have too few opportunities to get in touch with society. When they really step into the society, they will be nervous and at a loss.
Children need to really experience asking strangers for help, asking for directions, making their own budgets, and learning to take local public transportation by themselves, of course, on the premise of safety.
15. Failure experience
Through certain events, letting children face failure, or making children feel failed, will make children reflect on their self-cognition.
Many parents can't accept failure more than their children. Sometimes children don't respond too much to failure, but parents care. Often the last ones to escape are mom and dad. This kind of escape is the biggest obstacle to children's growth.
16. It has been rejected or rejected.
Finding that parents are particularly afraid of rejecting their children, parents will feel: How can I refuse him? I want him to grow up freely and refuse him. Will the child think that I don't love him?
When a child has not experienced rejection, his life is very fragile. In fact, parents cannot accept saying "no" to their children. When he said "no", his parents were very uncomfortable, so he refused to say "no" to his children.
If he has never been rejected before 12 years old, what should he do when he is getting farther and farther away from the protection of his family?
In addition, children also need to have the experience of saying "no". If our children don't have a chance to say "no" when they are young, they don't respect their rights. They have a chance to say "no", express it bravely and gradually reflect their own values.
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