You should talk to your sister sometime, but don't use a harsh tone. Today's children are really open and bold. You should be gentle and communicate with her more. Like a friend, she may be fooling around because she thinks there is something missing at home. For example, mom and dad should care more about her, care more, care more. It is also good to take her out to play often. Chatting is also included. Don't push her too hard, the most important thing is to use snacks. In the Bible found in the data, there are two main things that parents do for their children: "authority" and "guidance" 1. Authority is the best word to describe the relationship between parents and children. As an agent of God, you exercise power over your children. But you can't use this power for your own purposes and convenience. From God's point of view, you should manage children for their benefit. Don't let your children do what you want them to do, but be a servant-an authority to give yourself up for others. The purpose is not to control them under your power, but to give them the ability to control themselves and live freely under the authority of God. Example: The Lord Jesus is the God who gives orders and has all authority; But as a servant, he is a king who serves the people and a slave who rules the people. Parents are amiable kings. Children will not resist the selfless authority of true love. 2. Guidance-the best word to describe what parents do for their children. Parents are the guides of children: a. Help children know themselves; B. know the life world; Assess your reaction to that world; D. Understand that man was created by God and for the glory of God; Take the road of truth and cultivate determination and wisdom. Not only talk about how to do it, but also walk the road of truth with children in the interactive relationship. Invest your life in children and communicate openly with them. Note 1: Spiritual life and values cannot be passed down by word of mouth. Parents must show a life full of vigor and vitality. Note 2: Guiding children is not only behavior, but also inner change. Know not only what you did wrong, but also why. Note 3: When a child carefully studies the Gospel and decides whether to accept it or not, he should be helped to honestly discuss all confusing beliefs. Note 4: Interacting with children is not only to teach them, but to share their knowledge of God, so that the whole family can enjoy the wonder of God. 1. Educating children from "heart" is the center of life control, and the process of vitality reflects the change of heart. A person's behavior is the expression of his heart. The Lord blames the parents of the Pharisees for their work: correction, discipline and training, but we should set goals, establish methods, shape development models, and find fresh and lively ways to complete the tasks entrusted by God to your children. Help children see their inner problems, not scold them. Bring the child before the Lord and set a clear example for the Lord Jesus from an early age. Home is a warm nest, not a suffocating place, where there is a breeze that revives life and a source of life. Second, children's development is the product of two influencing factors, one is the influence of growth events and environment; The second is the recognition of God. 1. Events and environments in children's growth have a catalytic effect on a person's personality, and childhood experiences affect his life (Shen 2, Fu 6, 3). God's word requires us to pay attention to shaping influence. Family life deeply affects what kind of person children will become in the future! Who is the core of the family structure? How many generations live together? Parents do their duty? Child relationship? Personality differences? B. What are the most important family values? What ideas do children often listen to? God-centered or other centers? Who is the secret of the family (border)? C. How to solve the role conflict of family members (by biblical principles or by power)? Failure reaction (with ridicule or encouragement) D. Family history, happy marriage? Rich and healthy? View of life and death? Good shaping influence may produce good children, but children are not passively shaped, but actively shaped. 2. What is God's approval that ultimately decides whether a child is a mocker or a wise man? Fear of god. For example, it is not the wind that controls the direction of the ship, but the balance bar of the sail. This is a pole for children to identify with God! Either fear God or fear idols; It is right to identify and interact in the external environment. For example, in childhood, Yue Se was full of resentment, suspicion and hatred. Because of his faith in God, he finally said to his younger brother, "Don't be afraid, I can take the place of God? Once upon a time, you . . But God means well! " Reason: He dedicated himself to God in a difficult environment and had a good relationship with God in his heart. It is manifested in the external environment through internal relations. Therefore, parents should pay attention to changing the controllable environment; We should also actively guide children to get close to God and let them become people who know and fear God. Third, you are in charge of 1, and your goal is clear-you are in charge of authority/consultant. For authority, you must have a biblical understanding: God wants you to be an authority in life. In order to teach, care, nurture and discipline on behalf of God, you are the spokesman of God! You and your children are in the same boat, but your roles are different, but you have the same master, and you must obey the authority of the Lord. Your right to discipline children can only be done by God, and you can't do whatever you want. It's not your own purpose to make your child submit to you. You must obey God's law first. If you are not ready, you will be an authority. If you use authority, there is no lofty goal. Just for temporary comfort and convenience (children will suffer a lot). You should teach your children that God loves them very much and give their parents the authority to teach and guide their love. Consultants-not just taking care of them or playing with them, etc. 2. Attitude has a modest attitude-it is a modest parent. You correct that your child is the spokesman of God, just as a diplomat knows that he is doing it for the country, so parents are calm and modest. If you are angry or guilty, you must apologize to your child: "Son, I was wrong. God gave me a sacred job to teach, but I completed this sacred task with unholy anger. Please forgive me! " Personal anger should not be used to restrain anger. It will make children afraid of you, but it will not have biblical meaning. Anger will change children's behavior, not making them closer to God, but making them farther away from God. Because to correct and discipline according to God's command does not need to be destroyed by anger, but should remind them that they have sinned against God. Under the guidance of the authority established by God and the way of God, children will be blessed: 3. Disciplining/punishing the two attitudes —— Differentiating punishment: aimed at angered parents, in order to vent anger or revenge. Can't bear the fruit of peace and justice, but give children shame and anger, won't the children resist? Discipline: centering on the offended god, the purpose is to restore relations, treat and correct rebellious children, and let them return to the path of obedience. Discipline is an expression of love. Discipline is not punishment, but correction. This is an exhortation to our son so that we can benefit from his holiness. . . Anti. . . Bear the fruits of peace and justice. The goal of discipline is to be closer to children, not hostile to them. Fourth, the test target 1. The more you sign up for various activities, the more conscientious your parents are, and the more successful your children will be? Also pay attention to balance, endurance, friendship, competition, honesty, self-image, sportsmanship and whether the skills taught in activities conform to the Bible? If you teach them how to make others serve him and manipulate others, if so, how can they work in the kingdom of God? For example, learning to use others cunningly and selfishly, or going against tradition rudely and ignorant, all these are divorced from the teaching of the Bible as a servant. If there is no great goal, as long as children learn to obey, learn to behave appropriately and learn to be kind to others, the bottom line is that children can control it. For example, do you reject the culture that God hates? If Israel approaches the Canaanites, it will deviate from the right path! 2. What is consistent with the goals of the Bible? The ultimate goal of mankind-glorifying God and enjoying God forever. Are you willing to start with this goal with your children? Today's culture abandons God and doesn't know God. If you teach them to use their abilities, talents, talents and wisdom to make their lives better, without mentioning God, you are helping them abandon God, which is to teach them to let their culture decide themselves. After years of secular life denying spiritual truth, it is difficult for children to have a godly attitude towards God when they grow up-no wonder we have lost a generation of children because we don't know the ultimate goal of life. Therefore, it is necessary to establish a biblical worldview for children-we were created in the image of God for God's sake; Children can only find themselves when they find God. Only when the child stands before God and says, "Who am I in heaven but you?" ? I love nothing in this world except you. "Only in this way can they experience real life. If this is what you expect, you must live with this goal. In the light of God, we will see the light, but we will help our children to do it, for example, is it revenge for the bullied children? Hide? Following the teaching of the Bible is to lead children to entrust themselves to the protection of God and help them feel the needs of those who have offended them. The only thing capable of dealing with evil is good. Don't take revenge on yourself. God will treat them fairly, teach them and train them to trust God more because of their injuries. 3, think about the goal again! Many families have time to participate in various trainings, but have no time to read and pray together. It's good to attend all kinds of training, but don't go alone. You should participate in sharing and teach your loyalty to your family together, so as to stay healthy and serve God better. Take education as the goal, as long as you get good grades, plus if you get 100, what will you get! ? There are scriptures to support this goal? However, the Bible (Proverbs 23: 4) says that we should not only aim at getting paid, but should study hard for God. God promises to reward faithful people and let children seek their abilities in Christ and learn for the glory of God. Don't ignore the spiritual process of children's salvation. Parents teach them the truth, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit to change their hearts. Therefore, we should encourage them to experience God every day, and God will help them spend their time in temptation and think about their awakening to sin, which will be clean and renewed every day. Attending worship should pay attention to the purpose, whether to know God better; Take proverbs as a handbook of life; Performing Old Testament stories; Carry out the teaching of the Bible with good character. In short, activate the truth with all kinds of wisdom. Don't be empty Use this goal on children who have not yet believed in God? God's standards apply to every child, whether he believes in God or not. We should faithfully uphold standards, and the law is the master of guidance. 5. Discard non-biblical methods We learn many non-biblical methods from different channels, such as newspapers, television and the Internet. . . Although the methods are different, one thing is the same: take people's point of view as the standard (a great man is like this; I have done this successfully before. If you use bribes, motivate them to do what you expect. Or sign a contract stating the contract reached by both parties. Children taught in this way do not know how to seek the interests of others, nor will they learn to obey authority. This method only cares about behavior and does not solve mental problems. Such as behavior correction, rewarding good behavior seems feasible, but the heart is trained to be greedy and selfish, which inevitably teaches its own heart. You should know that the prize itself is not the ultimate goal, but the result of obedience to God. God knows our hearts well and wants us to do good deeds to glorify him. If you respect God, God will attach importance to his emotional appeal method: using children's emotional needs. Therefore, it is valuable to live in pleasing parents, otherwise it is to stay away from parents. Punishment correction method: punishment is to control children and deprive them of their rights. This is just punishment, not correction. Various methods are used at will, and children are confused and can't figure out what their parents want. These methods teach children superficially, instead of guiding their hearts, they only pay attention to the improvement of behavior, ignoring the teaching principle in line with the Bible-emphasizing changing their hearts to improve their behavior. Heart decides behavior! If you pay attention to your thoughts, your behavior will naturally be affected. Your child is a creature created by God under the Covenant with you, and the fruit of life comes from the heart; It is impossible to bring children to Christ only by focusing on behavior, because the gospel is not about doing new things; This is a message about the new creator-desperate and fallen sinners need new hearts, and God gave his only son to change our hearts, not our appearance. The above wrong method is only a stopgap measure, which makes children live in the shadow of fear. There is no self-confidence in my heart, and I can't let myself bring difficulties to God. Six, biblical methods These verses mentioned that biblical methods include two elements, one is profound and beautiful communication; The second is the discipline of the staff. The use of the staff gives parents authority, because God calls parents to be his agents. And emphasize good employees to prohibit ruthless tyranny and tyrannical discipline. Besides, good communication provides a healthy situation so that parents and children can be honest with each other. Staff and communication must be intertwined to truly guide the child's heart. 1. communication: it's not a monologue, it's a two-way dialogue. You should not only speak, but also listen. Communication is a reflection of the heart. Speaking with thorough insight also reminds us. The art of communication is not how to express your thoughts, but how to get others to say their thoughts. The goal of communicating with children must be to get to know them, not you. When children are young, we often ignore their conversations and respond with interest to "hmm, hehehehehehe". When parents want to talk to their children, children don't want to talk to their parents for a long time! Parents correct their children first, not to vent your anger, but to try to understand their thoughts. Because their hearts are full of words, it is necessary to understand their inner struggles, understand the situation and understand what problems the children have in their hearts through conversation. We should analyze children's inner world through behavior. The goals of communicating with children are: a. What you see is the reflection of the child's heart. You should know what they are thinking. C. Inner problems are more important than external behaviors, because the heart is the place where behaviors are triggered. If you want to know your children, you should also help them to know themselves. You should learn to help children express themselves, learn to promote each other's conversation, understand and identify everything hidden in your heart, and you will occupy a favorable position. Parents must become such wise men and learn the skills to explore the secrets in their hearts. You are God's agent and have the obligation to guide, but you are also a sinner when you correct. You are above him and beside him. ● Communication mode: it must be rich and interactive in many aspects-stipulation, encouragement, correction, blame, pleading, guidance, warning, punishment, teaching and prayer. Have different conversations with different audiences. If you don't know when to use what form of communication, it will cause harm. For example, you blame him when you need guidance. Encouragement: Make them full of hope and courage, because God is close to sad and contrite hearts. Correction: Treat mistakes, give insight into what is wrong, and know God's criteria for evaluating your behavior. Make people right. Blame: Blame bad behavior. Begging: Urgently, enthusiastically and sincerely asking them to accept the guidance of wisdom and confidence: the process of providing guidance and information to help children understand the world. Warning: warning communication can prevent possible dangers, and it is a kind conversation that fills children's minds with biblical words like a warning of traffic signs.