Parents want their children to become qualified talents in the future society. The growth of a child depends on the upbringing and education of parents, and the quality of family education depends on the quality of parents, so good parents can cultivate good children. How can we be a qualified parent and educate our children well?
First, enhance the sense of responsibility in educating children.
Marx attached great importance to family education. He said: "The occupation of judges is law, the occupation of missionaries is religion, and the occupation of parents is parenting." This passage tells people that no matter what occupation we are engaged in, as long as we have children and become parents, raising children becomes a sacred occupation and an unshirkable responsibility. It is related to the future of children and the happiness of families.
Some parents think that families only care about their children's lives, and education is a school matter. They don't realize that educating children is the responsibility of parents first. Some parents spoil their children in every way and relax their education, which also fails to perform their duties well. There are still very few parents who only pay attention to "money", pay no attention to their children's education at all, and completely give up their parents' vocation. French writer Flaubert said: "The fate of a country is in the hands of parents rather than those in power." Therefore, parents should enhance their sense of responsibility in educating their children and fulfill the sacred duties entrusted by society and the state.
Parents should improve their own quality and set an example for their children.
Some people say: "teach without teaching" in family education. This statement may not be accurate, but it makes sense that family education mainly depends on words and deeds, not words and deeds. The biggest feature of family education is subtle, and parents often unconsciously influence their children in their daily lives. Especially for children, their thinking has the characteristics of concretization and imitation, and imitation is the main way for them to learn to be human. In the family, parents become the main objects of their imitation. Parents' behavior habits, standards of right and wrong, attitudes towards others, moral concepts and many other aspects are affecting children all the time. Therefore, it is often said that children are the mirror of parents. If parents want to be like children, they must first be like that. Honest parents will certainly cultivate honest children; Parents who swear can't cultivate civilized children; Selfish parents cannot raise selfless children. In a tutor consultation, a mother told me that her five-year-old daughter had a bad temper. I often lose my temper with her and often attack other children in kindergarten. When I learned more about children's family education, I found that my father's character was very rough and he often beat his daughter and other corporal punishment. Obviously, the child's bad character was learned from her father. Well-educated mothers attach great importance to cultivating their children's honesty. She said: "In order to cultivate children's honesty, I always keep my promise in front of children." The mother cultivated her children's fine qualities by setting an example and achieved good results.
Learn scientific parenting knowledge and improve the level of family education. At present, many parents are eager for their children to succeed, but due to the lack of correct concepts and improper family education methods, the effect of educating their children is not good, and even it has caused a sad tragedy. Some people say that parents don't understand their children's psychological characteristics and don't master the scientific principles and methods of educating their children, just like practicing medicine according to the order, the consequences are the same. That makes sense. Family education is a comprehensive science, which requires parents to keep learning. In order to educate children, parents should learn some knowledge about children's physiology, psychology and education, master the principles and methods of scientific parenting, and constantly improve the level of family education.
The contents, tasks and methods of children's family education have been talked a lot. Here, from the perspective of being a good parent, I will focus on the following points:
1, establish a correct educational concept
Many parents of young children are eager for their children to become talents, but they don't understand the physical and mental characteristics and development laws of young children, and there are problems such as "valuing wisdom over morality" and "early directional training". Some parents use primary schools to educate their children in advance and force them to learn things they are not interested in, thus depriving them of a happy childhood, hindering their active development, and affecting or even damaging their physical, moral, emotional, habit and other important aspects of development. There are many such examples. Therefore, parents must establish a correct educational concept, respect their children's age characteristics, teach scientifically, promote their children's all-round and harmonious development in body, intelligence, morality and beauty, pay attention to improving their comprehensive quality, and lay a preliminary foundation for cultivating talents needed by the motherland.
2. Master some important principles and methods of scientific parenting.
To educate children well, we must master a series of important principles and methods of scientific parenting. Emphasize the following points.
The first is positive education.
Positive education is a positive educational thought and principle. Some parents usually attach great importance to educating their children and spend a lot of energy on education, but the effect is not good, and even the phenomenon of "getting worse" has appeared. For example, some parents always stare at their children's shortcomings, nag and criticize them all day, or always criticize their children's shortcomings in front of them. This practice not only does not help to overcome children's shortcomings, but is often strengthened for young children. Because for young children, they usually know themselves through the evaluation of adults, and they think they are what they say, and this kind of criticism can easily hurt children's self-esteem and self-confidence, which is very unfavorable to their development. When children have shortcomings, parents should patiently educate them and guide them to learn the advantages of others by telling stories and reasoning. When children have made progress under the education of their parents, they should adopt positive educational methods such as affirmation, encouragement and praise to promote their behavior towards the good goals expected by their parents. A child who often gets positive education from his parents will always grow up confidently and happily.
Second, we must strictly love the combination.
Every parent loves their children deeply, but some parents love their children too much, which is not conducive to the healthy development of their children's body and mind. In educating children, parents should strictly love combination.
The so-called strictness does not mean to treat children severely with a straight face, but to adhere to principles when educating children. However, it is not easy to combine strict love with strict love. Many parents also know that love and strictness should be combined, but when they encounter problems, especially when their children are crying, they often shake their parents' determination to discipline, often acting on behalf of love and unable to adhere to principles. Therefore, to achieve the combination of strict love, parents also need a strong educational will.
An excellent parent wrote a short article entitled "Hidden Half Love", in which she expressed her views on the love between parents and children. There is a passage in it, "When I say I want to hide half my love for my children, I don't mean to give them half my love, not to reduce my love for them, but to say that parents should love their children rationally and give them broader and deeper connotations. I think this is the true love and responsibility of parents for their children. " This passage may enlighten parents. Only by combining strict love can we educate our children well and be truly responsible for them.
Thirdly, we should keep the consistency of education.
This is an important principle for the success of family education. The consistency of education means that teachers should reach an agreement on the educational direction and requirements of children, including the consistency of parents, grandparents, families and kindergartens in education. Consistency in education can promote children's behavior to develop in the same direction. If the teacher's education for children is inconsistent, it will inevitably interfere with each other, making children confused and at a loss, and even forming negative consequences such as duality of children.
3. Know your children.
Some parents have read many books on scientific parenting, but they still can't educate their children well. It is necessary to learn scientific parenting knowledge, but book knowledge is not enough. You also need to know the characteristics of your children. In a sense, every child is a book that parents must read. As parents, to educate their children well, we should understand your children's books while mastering certain scientific parenting knowledge, that is, understand their personality characteristics and development level, their ideological interests and potential, and conduct education on this basis. For example, some children have strong self-confidence, while others have low self-esteem. Parents' education for these two types of children should be different. For the former, parents should pay attention to let their children see their own shortcomings while protecting their self-confidence; For the latter, we should help children see their own advantages and potentials, pay attention to creating opportunities for children to succeed, give appropriate encouragement, enhance self-confidence and overcome inferiority complex. In this way, targeted education according to the actual situation of children will achieve better results. Therefore, parents should carefully observe, understand and study their children, and carry out scientific teaching on this basis in order to effectively promote their development.
Create a family environment conducive to the healthy growth of children
Family environment is the most important factor affecting children's physical and mental health. Therefore, parents should pay attention to creating a good family environment for their children's healthy growth. Family environment includes material environment and spiritual environment, and the creation of spiritual environment is mainly emphasized here:
1, let the children have a warm home.
First of all, family members, especially husband and wife, should respect each other and live in harmony. Children living in such a family will naturally feel warm and happy. If the husband and wife are not in harmony and the family is often noisy, the child will feel insecure, depressed and anxious. The mother of a young child wrote a letter to the "expert hotline" in china national radio. In the letter, she talked about her innocent and lovely child. Now she is almost four years old, but she has many problems: sucking her fingers, having a bad temper and even lying. She doesn't know why or how to educate. I also learned from the letter that in recent years, she and her husband have been at odds and often quarrel. Because she is in a bad mood and lacks patience with her children's education, whenever she finds that her children have the above problems, she will beat and scold. Obviously, children's mental health is reflected in this problem, and the reason for mental health is precisely because of the lack of a warm family environment and the mother's bad parenting attitude.
Secondly, parents should strive to create a harmonious family atmosphere, so that the family will always be full of laughter and healthy fun. For example, using holidays to carry out family entertainment activities, using weekends for the whole family to play in nature and so on. Only when children live in a happy and harmonious family can they grow up healthily.
2. Establish a good parent-child relationship.