Many parents will face the moment of authority conflict and are not sure how to deal with their own educational methods. To what extent should it be strictly controlled? In particular, the process of urging restless or careless children often makes parents lose their good temper, leaving only impulsive reactions in the end.
Children's spontaneous interest and curiosity can generate substantial motivation.
Parents often want to tease or threaten their children with rewards or punishments, just in the hope of forcing them to be anxious! Unfortunately, these methods rarely succeed. Psychiatrist Spitzer believes that urging another person is as futile as telling others what hunger is, because interest, curiosity and fun are far more encouraging than external rewards.
If parents want to "bribe" their children, it may be counterproductive: they will destroy their original "internal motivation", which is far more powerful and lasting than foreign ones.
Parents who love to intervene in front of their children, hold on.
The key is to let children know that hard work is worthwhile. However, children must be given a chance to try it for themselves. Unfortunately, too many parents are impatient, easily impatient and always intervene in front of their children. Doing so will only discourage children.
? According to the research, 40% of the motivation obstacles are caused by children being spoiled and losing the ability to "do it yourself". Potsdam and Fako Leiberg, a psychologist in palaces and parks at the University of Berlin, believe that "overprotection" is as bad as "neglect".
The message that overprotection brings to children is that parents don't trust their children's ability, and parents deprive their children of their self-confidence and hurt their children for life.
Therefore, please set goals for your child that he can achieve and believe that he has the ability to achieve these goals. Let him know that you fully understand his situation and are willing to answer his questions. But please wait for the child to finish the task before you come to help.
Some suggestions for parents
? 1. Don't be discouraged by the deterioration of your child's condition. Instead, you should reflect on whether your expectations are too high or you have used the wrong method.
? 2. Be patient. Usually a child has his own rhythm, in fact, he also needs it. The academic pressure of school should not be brought home.
? Please praise the children a lot. The more arduous the task, the more praise you should give. The most important thing is the children's efforts, not the results. Positive feedback can strengthen a virtuous circle in children's brains. Even if he praises the children's abilities, his sense of accomplishment can help him work harder in other areas.
? Please tell the child what he can do. Let him feel this way every day: no matter how many problems I have at school today, my parents will always believe me!
About the author | Petra Solbriz
Journalists and publishers currently live in Munich as freelance writers. ?
* This article is taken from the publication Focus: Helping Children Learn Easily and Effectively. Please do not reprint without permission.