Children need guidance from their parents, but they don't like their parents' nagging. So, what's the difference between guidance and nagging?
First, the guidance is cordial and concise; Nagging is usually accompanied by reproach and warning.
Second, guidance is a kind of promotion, encouraging children to deal with problems independently; And nagging often shows disrespect and distrust for children.
Third, the result of guidance is that children are emotionally stable and happy; And nagging is repetitive and monotonous stimulation, which makes children tired, disgusted and depressed. The result of nagging will form the inertia of children's behavior. If you don't say it a few times, the child will quit. This vicious circle will also lead to the destruction of children's independent and positive personality.
A person's nagging, first of all, is that he does not believe in himself. What he said and did to himself will be repeated over and over again because he is not at ease. In addition, people with weak and neurotic personalities are particularly prone to nagging.
So how can parents avoid nagging their children?
First, don't talk nonsense. For example, children are required to do homework before eating, but although some parents say it, they are afraid that their children will be hungry, so they will go looking for trouble and say, "Are you hungry?" "Hurry up, the food is cold. Do you still want to eat? " Such contradictory words reflect their emotional fragility, bad faith and lack of prestige. To overcome nagging, first of all, you should go through some rational filtering before talking to children, not just talking nonsense.
Second, don't force orders. Talking to children in a low voice, the low family language is an important factor in the harmonious relationship between mother and child, and it is also conducive to avoiding the deterioration of the atmosphere. If you let your child do something, you can tell him gently in kind language around him. Especially for young children, this is not only a command, but also an emotional trust. A whisper is much more important than your loud reprimand.
Third, don't say everything. It can be said that although parents say a lot to their children, many of them don't get to the point. No matter what the details are, it will be counterproductive to repeatedly emphasize and persuade the family to be restless, adults to be angry with their children, and children to be unable to calm down and do their homework in a complex language environment.
Especially for adolescent children, there is a certain rebellious mentality. Sometimes it's even more unbearable to nag your parents too much.
Rebellious psychology reflects the characteristics of contemporary teenagers, because after entering adolescence, for example, a child's primary school is infancy, and it is mature when he is 18 years old. Dependence is an important performance in primary school, but after 18 years old, people often want to be independent. Adolescence is a semi-naive, semi-mature, semi-dependent and semi-independent stage.
They want to develop themselves, but they know that they can't do without the help of teachers and parents. They think they will have strong self-control and want to do something famous, but they also know that they have to continue to study and struggle because of lack of knowledge.
In this case, teenagers are aggressive and of course autistic, and they are willing to tell their peers instead of their parents.
Therefore, when parents ask too many questions and suggestions, even if they are correct, they will be opposed because of rebellious psychology.
This adolescent rebellious psychology should be a normal psychological state of adolescence.
Therefore, parents don't have to panic, as long as their children don't have any radical words and deeds, or suddenly change their past living habits and contact with people, don't nag too often.
Parents should communicate with their children as much as possible to understand the views of some advanced societies on adolescent children.
Less nagging, more pointing, and communicating with your child from the point of view that your child appreciates and agrees with, then you must know everything about your child in your heart.