If I were Su Dongpo, I would get along well with my colleagues. When it's stormy, I can still stand on the court instead of moving thousands of miles away.

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't be indecisive and stand in middle school, either let Sima Guang smash his own jar or let Wang Anshi go back to his hometown to drink the breeze and starve to death as soon as possible.

If I were Su Dongpo, I would keep my manners and float in the air when I move out. I am Li Bai, Qu Yuan and Gao Jie from the Song Dynasty. It will not ruin the family and lose the dog, which will insult the lofty sentiments and style of writing.

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't write down Jiang Chengzi's boundless life and lush green hills ten years after his wife died. He married many wives when his wife was alive. . .

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't ruin the life of a 14-year-old girl by writing such romantic words as "thick makeup is always appropriate" during a trip to the West Lake.

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't insist on comparing three changes with a strong man's broken wrist. Life is not as good as people, and it is not just a joke.

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't talk about the glitz of life and other depressing words in the tone of a missionary when my friends were traveling together in Chibi. I only listened to his flute quietly and shared my friend's sorrow.

If I were Su Dongpo, I would not visit Chengtian Temple in the middle of the night, but wander around the courtyard in the silent night, drinking and inviting the moon.

If I were Su Dongpo, I would like to go to hell with those talented people who are empty in literary talent and love poetry, but have no ability to live in the world. Not being an official is the way they should go, and they are deeply sympathetic. . . What's more, in the rumor of the famous customs, I also hooked up with an inexplicable little sister for no reason.

If I were Su Dongpo, I would practice calligraphy with Huang Tingjian in the study every day after retirement, preach and talk with Buddhists, and travel with sticks and bamboo in the silent rainy season. Without the word idle people.

If I were Su Dongpo, I wouldn't eat 300 lychees a day. What should I do if hemorrhoids get angry after all?

If I were Su Dongpo, I would make my children and grandchildren or nephews achieve literary achievements, so that others would not put me on the same footing as Su Jiasan and Cao Jiasan. Why, although I am not as good as others, if I want to have another generation of heroes, I must always be superior in the literary world, and the educational legacy is more exciting.

If I were Su Dongpo, this composition would be endless and free and easy.

Unfortunately, I'm not Su Dongpo, so I'm tired of writing here.

Fortunately, I'm not Su Dongpo, otherwise the pronouns in the Song Dynasty are graceful and restrained, and the uninhibited school will be miserable if it is supported by Jia Xuan alone, and the Song Ci will be gloomy in the Spring and Autumn Period. I'm even more glad that I'm not Su Dongpo, which is why there is such a brilliant literary star in the history of China. After all, a vulgar pragmatist like me can't spell out the romantic feelings of others.

Note: Sorry, it seems that I have written too much. Look, delete a little.