Basic methods of family education. Behavior training method
Behavior training is a method of repeated requirements, repeated exercises, repeated inspections and supervision in order to cultivate children's good habits.
(A) a correct understanding of behavior training method
Parents should have a correct understanding of their children's behavior and habits, and should have correct discrimination and judgment. Usually parents think that intelligence is the advantage of children's learning. They trust and rely too much on children's intelligence, ignoring the most basic character cultivation and the improvement and strengthening of learning ability, so that with the increase of children's academic content, the disadvantages of children's learning become more and more obvious. For example, carelessness actually reflects the following problems in children's learning:
1. inattention: the learning attitude is not correct enough, and it is easy to be distracted and distracted.
2. temperament impetuous: often? In Cao Cao, in Han? Thinking about playing while studying, worrying about homework while playing, half-hearted.
3. Poor learning responsibility: no? Do your own thing and take responsibility? Consciousness and action are often passive learning, perfunctory homework, sorting things out, lucky psychology and responsibility extrapolation psychology.
4. Lack of correct methods: homework was not previewed in advance, and there was no test afterwards. Often perfunctory.
Of course, in addition to these subjective reasons, there will be some objective reasons leading to carelessness, such as the child's physical and neurological dysplasia and so on. It can be seen that intelligence is not essential for children to achieve good academic performance continuously, but good behavior habits and correct learning methods are the necessary prerequisites. Therefore, parents should first understand the content of behavior habits and make clear what kind of behavior habits they want to cultivate their children.
(B) effective methods of behavior training
1. Strengthen self-cultivation: Parents are most likely to become influential role models in children's minds because of blood relationship and support relationship. Therefore, for the healthy growth of children, parents should behave themselves and be cautious in their daily lives.
2. Correctly guide children: Parents must be patient when training their children's behavior, and at the same time give them clear operating standards, require concise and accurate guidance, and give necessary demonstrations, so that children can constantly imitate training and consolidate in their daily lives until they develop good behavior habits.
3. Timely affirmation and reinforcement: Parents should let their children follow the good example behaviors in life, and timely affirm and praise their good behaviors.
(3) Matters needing attention in behavior training method
1. Match words with deeds: Parents should not engage in flexible system for the cultivation and cultivation of children's good behavior habits, especially in the initial stage, which will lead to ineffectiveness and failure in educating children. Therefore, parents should remember the old adage:? Words must be done, and actions must be fruitful? .
2. Strict training: Parents should emphasize the cultivation of children's good behavior habits? Strict? Two words. The most taboo here is that parents spoil their children and lower their requirements for them.
3. Repeated reinforcement: This is the core of behavior training method. It doesn't take a day or two for children to form a good habit, which requires parents' long-term grasp and perseverance. It takes more than three days to correct a bad habit. Rome was not built in a day.
4. Constant motivation: Parents should constantly mobilize their children's enthusiasm when cultivating their children. Because if a child is not self-motivated, it is often easy to produce? Rebellious mood? There is resistance and resistance, which makes the training unable to proceed smoothly and achieve good results. Therefore, parents must pay attention to mobilizing children's enthusiasm and subjective initiative during training.
Second, the persuasion education law
Persuasion education is the most basic educational method commonly used by parents to educate their children. Mainly by putting facts and reasoning, explaining what it is, why it should be done and how to do it, so as to inspire children's consciousness, improve their ideological understanding, cultivate good moral quality and form correct norms.
(A) the characteristics of persuasion education law
1. Emphasize positive education, raise awareness and convince people by reasoning in education.
2. Pay attention to inspire self-awareness, not only to guide and guide children, but also to give children the opportunity to fully express their opinions and opinions, so as to speak freely; It is also necessary to help children analyze specific problems and guide them to understand in the right direction.
(B) the application skills of persuasion education method
1. Fully understand children: Parents should understand their psychological characteristics, and the ways and means of education should conform to their psychological development level and ability acceptance. Only by grasping the situation, finding out the facts, finding the right problems and teaching students in accordance with their aptitude can we achieve the educational effect.
2. Reasoning should be thorough and facts should be sufficient: parents should seek truth from facts and be targeted. Help children analyze and solve problems in practical ways. Look at the children's good and hard work and give them more opportunities to grow.
3. Accurately grasp the educational opportunity: Interest is the best educational breakthrough. When children ask their parents some questions with great interest, parents should grasp the essence of their children's problems and carry out effective education.
4. Persuade patiently and speak appropriately. Parents teach their children to be reasonable. Parents should put down their airs and communicate with their children in a sincere, equal and democratic manner.
(3) Matters needing attention in persuasion education method
Parents should pay attention to the following points when conducting persuasion education:
1. Be gentle and relaxed, and don't always condescend and reprimand with a straight face.
2. To be targeted, you are talking about the cognitive problems that children just need to solve.
3. To be flexible, it depends on the child's understanding and acceptance, not to be forced to instill, to inspire, and to guide the child to think for himself.
4. Be concrete and vivid, tell the children profound truth, try to be simple and easy to understand, contact the reality around the children, and put more facts.
5. Parents should have correct ideas and opinions, and really let their children distinguish right from wrong through persuasion and education.
Third, the actual exercise method
Practical exercise method, also known as practical exercise method, refers to that parents let their children participate in various practical activities according to their physical and mental development and social needs, and receive education and exercise from them, so as to learn some skills, increase their practical ability, and cultivate good behavior habits and ideological morality.
Labor has many meanings for children's growth:
First, labor exercises children's will and makes them stronger;
Second, labor makes children cherish material possession and happiness of life more;
Third, labor makes children realize the hardships and greatness of their parents, learn to respect their parents and honor their teachers;
Fourth, labor cultivates children's quality of self-reliance and self-reliance, so that they can successfully become qualified and even excellent people;
Fifth, labor makes children feel ashamed of getting something for nothing, knowing that their own labor can also bring some happiness to others;
Sixth, labor makes children's hands more flexible, their brains smarter and their knowledge richer.
(A) the actual exercise methods
1. Participate in housework: With the growth of children's age, parents should let their children participate in housework at home and encourage them to learn to do things, such as packing jiaozi, mopping the floor, cleaning the table, watering flowers and feeding fish.
2. Self-management labor: Parents should let their children learn self-service labor and learn to take care of their own lives, such as learning to dress themselves, brush their teeth, make the bed, fold the quilt, wash socks, wash dishes, organize learning utensils and so on. Let children master basic life skills. Teach children? Do your own thing, help others, and learn to do what you can't do. ?
3. Participate in exchange activities: Can parents adopt them? Please come in and go out to play? Let children learn ways to enhance their awareness and ability to communicate with others. Parents should also encourage their children to participate in public welfare work as much as possible, so that children can learn to use their own specialties to serve others. Let children experience the joy and happiness that labor brings to life and others.
4. Encourage helping others: Parents should actively encourage their children to help others with their own strength, so as to enhance their ability, win friendship, enhance their learning motivation and improve their self-confidence.
5. Give responsibility: Parents consciously teach their children some specific tasks for them to complete and create opportunities for them to practice. Young people assign simple tasks, while old people assign complex tasks. For example, go to the store to buy things, borrow things from neighbors, pick up packages at the post office, buy tickets at the railway station and so on. While completing these tasks, children should not only work hard, but also get in touch with society, so as to get exercise. It is conducive to cultivating children's sense of responsibility, perseverance and willpower.
(2) Matters needing attention in actual drills
1. Safety awareness: Parents should teach their children the common sense of protecting personal safety, such as fire prevention, electricity prevention and personal injury prevention.
2. Give priority to the actual exercise in daily life: parents should pay attention to exercising their children in daily life and let them learn the basic self-care ability. Because children can only have self-esteem and stand on their own feet if they take care of themselves.
3. Willing to let children suffer: When children are young, parents are reluctant to let their children suffer a little. They should not learn skills and techniques, they should not have the ability. It will be even more painful when children grow up and live independently from their parents.
4. Strict persistence: letting children take charge of a job at home can help children build willpower and perseverance. Parents should be patient and don't rush for success. It is impossible to cultivate children's habits in a short time, especially to get rid of the bad habits that children have formed in this respect. Don't worry, haste makes waste.
5. Believe in the child's ability: Many parents often underestimate the child's potential and always think that he? Still young? No? . Reluctant or unwilling to let children exercise. In fact, children's potential and potential are unlimited, and they have independent requirements and self-care wishes since childhood. Therefore, parents should trust their children, make use of the situation, create conditions and exercise freely, so that children can make a breakthrough in practice.
6. allow children to make mistakes: in the west, children are considered? Who has the right to make mistakes? In the eyes of parents, children make mistakes mostly because they can't control themselves or do too little and are not skilled. For example, breaking cups and bowls while washing dishes are children's characteristics, not shortcomings. They should not be criticized and punished, but should be guided and helped. We can't ask children to learn well as soon as they learn, and do well as soon as they get started. Mastering any skill and skill has a process from never attending a meeting to being unfamiliar to being mature.
7. Respect children's labor and practical achievements: Parents should care about their children's labor and practical achievements, even if they are insignificant, such as showing their children's handmade works and eating jiaozi happily.
8. Pay attention to age characteristics and protect enthusiasm. Children's actual exercise should be done according to their abilities, and the tasks given to children should be difficult and appropriate. We should learn to guide children correctly according to their personality characteristics, adopt methods suitable for their age characteristics, especially young children, and encourage them to practice with interest guidance.
Four. Model law
Examples, also known as demonstrations. Leading by example is an image, concrete and vivid educational method to educate and influence children with the good thoughts and behaviors of parents and others.
(A) the characteristics of the Model Law
1. Easy to be imitated: children learn from imitation, especially by contacting and observing people and things around them, and then solidify into their own behavior habits.
2. Easy to be accepted: Often the people around the child are also the closest people to the child, or family members who are related by blood, or friends who are friendly, or nannies who have employment relationships. Therefore, children are easily infected and easy to learn and follow.
3. Easy to be assimilated: children are plastic and imitative, and living role models in life will naturally become the objects that children follow and imitate. They are very attractive, persuasive and infectious to children.
4. Easy to be stereotyped: once a habit is formed, family members live together, and the consistency of many living habits and habits makes it easier for children's moral standards and behavioral norms to converge, which will naturally solidify as children grow older.
(b) model method
1. Parents should set an example for their children.
2. With the help of revolutionary leaders, hero models, great and outstanding figures in history and positive images in literary and artistic works, it has an impact on children's education.
3. Guide children to learn from classmates, teachers, relatives and friends around them and ordinary workers from all walks of life.
(3) Matters needing attention in the Model Law
1. Pay attention to the directionality and hierarchy of the example.
With the growth of children's age, the scope of activities becomes wider and wider, and the complicated life and various phenomena in society will attract them. They often imitate what they see on impulse. So parents should be good at guiding. In addition, when choosing a role model for children, we should pay attention to hierarchy as much as possible, and educate children close to life in combination with their age characteristics, so that children can easily understand and imitate. For older children, it is necessary to learn high-level philosophical deeds with outlook on life and values.
2. Let children feel more hard behind the role model aura.
Promote and set an example, don't just let children see the charm and aura on the role model stage, but also seize the opportunity to let children know more about the story behind the success of the role model. Thereby inspiring children. For example, Edison invented the electric light bulb and failed more than 2000 times. John from England? Cresset is the writer with the most books in the world. He wrote 564 books in 40 years, totaling more than 40 million words. There are as many as 743 rejection slips.
Parents should improve their self-cultivation and pay attention to their words and deeds.
Family education is everywhere. Some parents don't pay attention to their words and deeds, which affects their children invisibly. Some parents go to school to hold parent-teacher conferences, and even enter the classroom in pajamas; Usually when picking up children from school, shout at the school gate. Some parents talk and do things casually and don't pay attention to the influence on their children. Therefore, parents must improve their own quality and set an example for their children with their good moral character.
Parents must do what their children are asked to do first.
Parents must educate their children? Honesty? Parents must do what their children are asked to do first. Teach children to be polite, and parents should use civilized language, such as? Hello? Thank you? Excuse me. Wait a minute. Teach children to concentrate on their studies, and parents should also concentrate. When children are studying, they should not be disturbed, playing mahjong, watching TV at high volume, etc.
Five, the guidance of family education methods
(1) model law
Case: A student is fighting at school, and the teacher asks his parents. Your child has a bad habit of fighting and swearing, so you should educate him well. ? Parents ask their children in front of the teacher? Who the fuck taught you to swear, asshole! Who taught you to hit people? Then he slapped the child. The teacher said: Who taught you? Your behavior is his example! ?
Comment: Parents must educate their children? Honesty? Parents must do what their children are asked to do first.
(2) Behavior training method
Case: Grandma is a guest at home. Because grandma is a diligent person, everything in the house is clean, and the children's toys are put in two beautiful big boxes. That day, after the child finished playing with the toys, she put them back in the sorting box like grandma. When her mother saw it, she immediately praised her and hugged and kissed the child. Since then, children's enthusiasm for tidying up toys has been greatly improved, and they have gradually developed a good habit of tidying up their own toys.
Comments: Parents usually ask their children to imitate good role models in life. Once children imitate good behavior, they should be affirmed and praised in time.
Effective methods of family education: First, in family education, the most common way is to talk. The quality of conversation is closely related to the art of conversation.
Conversation is a conversation between parents and children in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere. The timing of the conversation should be appropriate, and the topic of conversation should be beneficial and interesting to children. Before talking, parents should induce their children to pour out their hearts freely, and then give back their opinions higher than their children as gifts. Through the exchange of ideas between parents and children, children have been educated and enlightened. Simple parents talk, children listen, and there is no feedback, which can't be regarded as real communication. What is even more undesirable is that parents satirize and criticize their children by talking, seize a small matter and nag endlessly, which makes them disgusted and bored.
The art of conversation is mainly embodied in the capture of conversation opportunities and the use of conversation methods. Generally speaking, parents and children should not talk when they are in a bad mood, especially when they are angry. Don't talk until the whole story is clear; Please don't have a critical conversation when there are outsiders, especially guests present; At the dinner table, before the children go to bed, it is not appropriate to have a critical conversation. What are the characteristics of family education? At the last moment, it teaches? Therefore, the timing of education should be flexibly grasped, and everything should be based on the needs of education, especially the effect of education, and the acceptance of children. There are many ways to talk, such as rambling, investigation, encouragement, serious criticism and education. Among them, rambling, that is, talking freely and happily without being limited by time, place and content, is often a popular way of talking for children.
A successful conversation is like a spring breeze, and children will be taught.
Second, the art of activities with children
Family atmosphere is one of the important factors in the implementation of family education, and activities with children are one of the effective ways to create a good family atmosphere.
In life, parents and children have many opportunities for activities.
Take the children to the wild. Nature is beautiful: flowers in spring, cicadas in summer, fallen leaves in autumn, and snow in winter all attract children infinitely. Parents take their children for an outing in the season, and the pleasing natural scenery will bring their children beautiful reverie and longing, and call back their parents' memories of childhood fun. A common mood and a common language make the distance between the old and the young disappear at once, and how much educational content can be carried out at this moment.
Take the children sightseeing. Children are happiest when they can travel abroad during holidays. Those places of interest and various exhibitions are worth seeing. During the visit, if parents can give incisive explanations, children are most admired; If the knowledge is obviously insufficient, parents will be forced to look up books and materials, so as to win the children's hearts.
Take the children shopping. When children are young, they like to go shopping with their parents, and by the way, they can order things that people like to eat. Parents can take the opportunity to introduce commodity knowledge and instill the truth of frugality. When children grow up, they can shop for their families and themselves. Parents can be accompanied by staff officers, chatting while buying, chatting while watching and chatting while walking. It is a good opportunity for education that two generations do not guard against each other.
Have fun with the children. After dinner, on holidays, the whole family shows their magical powers, plays the piano and sings, and talks about everything, which fills the family with a happy atmosphere and enhances the cohesion of the family and the interest of life.
Parents and children have a lot to do together. The purpose of joint activities is to eliminate the generation gap, harmonize feelings, entertain and educate, and let family education be carried out in joyful, cordial and unrestrained activities.
Third, the art of praise and reward.
It is also very learned to praise and reward children.
Praise and reward children can encourage them to repeat the formation of good habits; Praise and reward can stimulate children's self-motivation, help cultivate children's self-esteem and sense of honor, cultivate children's self-discipline, enhance children's sense of right and wrong, and help deepen the feelings between parents and children.
The child's re-election has fulfilled the parents' demands and hopes and can be praised and rewarded; Children who behave well can also be praised and rewarded, although they are only signs; Children have completed an arduous task, shown brave quality or perseverance, and can also be praised and rewarded by their parents. Parents should praise and reward their children for winning the honorary title.
There are many ways to praise and reward children, and spiritual reward should be the main one. For example: praise, approval, nodding, smiling, intimacy, etc. Can achieve the goal of inspiring children to make progress. There should also be material rewards. For young children, necessary material rewards are also a good means of education. You can send books, clothes, toys, school supplies, etc. But be careful with your money, and don't let your child's young age and pure heart get copper smell too early.
Parents should seize the opportunity of praise and reward. When a child is excited, it comes and goes quickly. Parents should grasp their children's psychological pulse, praise and reward them in time, so that their good performance can be strengthened and consolidated. If it's Monday morning quarterback, it will weaken the incentive.
Again, praise or reward should be realistic, because this is an evaluation of children, and children should know themselves in praise and reward. Too high, easy for children to be blindly satisfied; Too low, and it is not easy to achieve the purpose of motivation. In addition, parents should be sincere when praising and rewarding, and it is best not to promise in advance. Once they make a promise, they should keep it. Never bargain with your child about the degree of reward.
In recent years, some? Scholar? Release? Appreciate education? What's your name? Universal education? And said:? When you appreciate children, you can make them out of nothing. ? This statement is debatable, and it is unscientific to replace all educational means with one educational method.
Fourth, the art of apologizing to children.
In family life, parents often say something wrong, do something wrong, and even wronged their children. How to deal with such problems is really one of the arts of family education.
Parents and children should have a democratic and equal relationship in the family. Parents should take the initiative to apologize if they have done something wrong or wronged their children. This will neither affect the prestige of parents nor damage their dignity; On the contrary, it will set an example for children to correct their mistakes, and will make children sincerely admire their parents' quality and cultivation, so as to trust their parents more and be close to them; The dignity of parents will not be reduced, but will be higher, which will also form a relaxed, harmonious and democratic atmosphere conducive to the growth of children in the family.
Of course, when parents apologize and admit their mistakes, especially for their children, they must be sincere, not perfunctory, not looking for objective reasons, and sincerely seek forgiveness.
Verb (short for verb) The art of tolerance.
Tolerance means that after a child does something wrong, parents accept the child's fault with a broad mind. They don't reprimand or investigate harshly, which will make the child deeply blame himself, calmly think about his past in regret and guilt, and urge him to turn over a new leaf in the generosity of his parents.
Give two examples to illustrate:
Lenin went to his aunt's house with his mother when he was 8 years old. He accidentally broke a vase, and no one saw it then. Asked why, he was too scared to admit it. The careful aunt guessed that it must be naughty Lenin, but the mother kept silent and waited for her son to feel ashamed. Three months later, the mother stroked her son's head and wanted to say something. Unexpectedly, Lenin burst into tears and told about the vase. The mother comforted her son and tolerated him. The mother knew that her son had won the inner moral struggle.
India's Mahatma Gandhi caught the bad habit of smoking in his teens, and later developed to the point of stealing money to buy cigarettes. Deeply saddened and regretful, he wrote down the process of his fall in detail in his notebook, gathered up the courage to give it to his father, eager to get his father's lesson and punishment. Father didn't blame him, just stared at Gandhi for a long time, and two lines of tears rolled down. Gandhi was shocked by his father's tolerance. From then on, Gandhi repented and turned over a new leaf and embarked on the right path.
It can be seen that tolerance is indeed a very effective means of education. When applying, it is recommended to pay attention to the following points:
The premise of carrying out tolerance education is that children must realize their mistakes and feel deeply guilty and regretful before they can use tolerance measures.
When parents are ready to forgive their children's mistakes, they should make their children feel sad about their mistakes in expression and tone, and believe that their children can repent. Such as Lenin's mother's touch on Lenin and Gandhi's father's tears, are excellent education for them. Parents should not take an indifferent attitude, so that their children can feel at ease, have no pressure and lack the determination to correct.
Tolerance is to let children form good habits and morals, which can only be produced and consolidated through practice. Parents should not involve their children just because they have not done something well. Allowing children to do good deeds is also a kind of tolerance for children.
Tolerance does not mean letting go or letting go. Tolerance is positive education, and the journey is the performance of parents' dereliction of duty.
Sixth, the art of criticism.
Criticism is a common means in family education. Parents criticize their children in order to give negative comments on their bad thoughts, behaviors and qualities and give them a warning, thus causing their guilt, pain and regret, learning from their shortcomings and mistakes and not repeating them.
The application should be fair, reasonable and appropriate. If you make a mistake, you will completely deny the child; Criticize today's mistakes, but also use previous mistakes; One point error is always criticized as very wrong, and these estimation methods are inappropriate. Therefore, when parents encounter their children's shortcomings, they should find out the plot, find out the reasons and properly estimate the degree of mistakes. They can't blame, blame and analyze the harm without knowing the situation. If so, it will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but also cause children's rebellious psychology, which is not conducive to solving problems.
In the way of criticism, we must first affirm the right and then point out the wrong; Praise the past first, then point out today's; You can even criticize yourself first and then criticize your children. Criticizing children can be serious or even severe, but this does not mean rudeness, let alone irony, ridicule and abuse. Otherwise, it will hurt the child's self-esteem, which will inevitably lead to opposition.
We often say? Dozens are not as good as winning the first prize. ? It refers to giving priority to positive encouragement when educating children, but not denying criticism or even punishment of mistakes, shortcomings and negligence. Criticism can be used, but not too much, and don't take criticism as a means of education for parents. In addition, criticism and punishment is a kind of denial and pressure, but it can also be an incentive and a kind of motivation. As parents, we must face our children's problems rationally, try our best to restrain our useless emotional impulses, enhance our educational awareness and pay attention to the art of criticism.
Seven, the art of setting an example
We often say that the power of example is infinite. In family education, the words and deeds of role models make the educational content concrete and personalized, make children infected and educated by images, enhance the attraction and effectiveness of education, encourage children to imitate and learn noble moral behaviors, and correct their own bad words and deeds.
The younger the child, the more attractive the role model is. The example of my childhood left a deep impression on me, and I will never forget it.
Parents are the most important role models for children. Parents are children's teachers, and their words and deeds are the most intuitive teaching materials for children to learn. Parents' leading by example can not only enhance the credibility and appeal of reasoning, but also play a subtle role like spring breeze. Therefore, parents should always check themselves and show their children's moral cultivation with their good first behavior.