Before the child 1 year old, the mother paid more attention to the child's eating, drinking and sleeping. Sears' intimate parenting, Cui Yutao's illustrated parenting encyclopedia and American Academy of Pediatrics' parenting can all come in handy. After the child 1 year-old, the focus shifts to the child's habit formation and character cultivation.
Nowadays, children can be exposed to more and more temptations, such as TV, mobile game consoles, coke cakes, chocolates, eating, drinking and having fun. How to make children face temptation correctly? How to make children develop good living habits and study habits? How to maintain good communication when dealing with different needs of children? These have become problems in front of my mother.
The six books in this book list will help solve these doubts in my mother's heart and make parenting more emboldened.
1. Anti-doting: talk to children about money correctly and cultivate children with high financial quotient.
Anti-doting is the work of American best-selling author Ron Lieber, and has been recommended by economist Xue Zhaofeng, angel investor Xu Xiaoping, children's education writer Sanchuanling and many other big names in the fields of parenting and economy.
Many mothers believe that in this materialistic age, not talking about money with children is to protect children from money erosion. As we all know, the more children stay away from money, the greater the damage. Money is not the root of all evil, but it is not treated correctly.
Get pocket money for children, is it enough to spend money for children? Ron Lieber suggested that children should be guided to divide pocket money into three categories, which are used for consumption, savings and donation. The part of consumption is to let children buy what they want to buy now. Saving is to plan the future, increase the value of money and achieve greater goals. The part of donation is to let children know how to be grateful and dedicated.
Ron Lieber pointed out in Anti-doting that money is neutral and an important educational tool, which can be used to cultivate children's values and excellent character. For example, children's pocket money is related to cultivating patience, children's work is related to cultivating perseverance, and learning to spend wisely is related to the wisdom of choice. Through financial and business education for children, children with strong self-control and optimism can be cultivated.
2. "Children, stop playing with mobile phones": Teach children to control their mobile phones, not be controlled by them.
Children, stop playing with mobile phones. The author is Deborah Heinert, an American education expert, who has been engaged in the research of parenting methods in the digital age all the year round. Deborah Heinert introduced seven educational keys in the touch screen era. These seven educational keys are not only concrete suggestions for children to play with electronic devices, but also urge parents to think deeply and get out of the misunderstanding of electronic devices.
Electronic equipment is not a scourge. The existence of mobile phones and computers brings a lot of convenience to our lives, but it also consumes a lot of time. What parents need to do is not to keep mobile phones and computers away from their children's lives, but to enable children to correctly face electronic devices and correctly understand and reasonably apply electronic devices.
To solve the problem of children playing mobile phones, we must start from the root causes. Understand the needs behind children playing mobile phones, take effective actions to influence children rather than control them, intelligently intervene in their online world, and guide them to establish friendship boundaries. It is not difficult for children to put down their mobile phones. As long as they can find a suitable way, children can control their mobile phones instead of being controlled by them.
3. "Don't worry, don't yell, be a mother": A mother can stop nagging.
Don't worry, don't yell, be a mother is written by Japanese education expert Yamazaki, who advocates the family concept of "less nagging, no blame, more encouragement". She has given lectures on mother psychology for many years, which has made many nagging and uncontrollable mothers change themselves and become parents who are not nagging and emotionally stable. The change of mother has turned the once "problem" child into "other people's children".
The starting point of nagging is love, but the language of love has changed after nagging. The child is in trouble, and the mother wastes saliva, which easily makes the child lose confidence. It turns out that in the eyes of mothers, I can't even do such a simple thing well.
Why does mom nag so much? Because of the gap between ideals and expectations, there are some ideals that mothers can't achieve by themselves, and some children can't reach the gap between parents' expectations. Yamazaki pointed out that when children are still in infancy, sacred motherhood plays an active role as the "hand of God". Once children become more sensible and eager to stand on their own feet, excessive motherhood will make children feel bored.
Abandon excessive motherhood, accept yourself, expect children reasonably, treat children as independent individuals, replace nagging with affirmation and recognition, gradually quit nagging, and be a mother who is in no hurry and doesn't yell.
4. Stress-resistant parent-child articles: Cultivate children's stress resistance and make them more optimistic.
The author of "Anti-pressure Parent-child" is a Japanese expert in positive psychology. He is the father of two children and the founder of the first positive psychology school in Japan.
For a long time, it is believed that to improve children's stress resistance, we should start from five aspects: self-esteem, emotional regulation, self-efficacy, optimism and interpersonal quality. Parents can strengthen their children's characteristics in a certain way according to their actual characteristics, so that their children can become stress-resistant children.
These five aspects complement each other. For example, if a child has a sense of self-efficacy and an optimistic attitude, he can have stronger emotional adjustment ability. Children with optimistic self-esteem can have more stable and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
Don't wait for the children to grow up, but naturally start from the dolls and cultivate their ability to resist stress. In fact, not only children, but also adults can get a lot of inspiration when reading this book, such as how to adjust their emotions, how to make themselves optimistic, and how to improve their sense of self-efficacy and self-esteem. Words and deeds are better than all rules.
5. When children encounter books: guide children to love reading.
The author of When Children Meet Books is Japanese children's book writer Nakagawa Lee. She has 65,438+07 years of protection experience. Being with children all the year round has given her a deep understanding of children and picture books. When Children Meet Books is a very warm book about children getting along with books.
Children always read the same book over and over again. Children never read books in order. Children always let their mothers read books, even if there are no words ... these problems that once troubled mothers can be answered in When Children Meet Books.
Children like to let their mother read, because they like to sit on their mother's lap and listen to her reading cadence. They enjoy this "happiness on their knees".
Mothers should read picture books to their children "in person" instead of telling stories with videos, audio and TV programs. Mother's voice will make children feel more secure. Mothers read aloud to their children in different tones and speeds, which helps them understand and fall in love with picture books.
Picture books can help children quickly integrate into the group and get familiar with the environment. Children can find the shadow of life from books and find their own direction in life. What Li Nakagawa conveys between the lines is to truly understand children, make children and books the best partners, and make picture books truly integrate into children's lives.
6. Say goodbye to snoring and doting: help children develop good habits.
The author of Farewell to Beating, Scolding and Spoiling is Elizabeth Cleary, an American practical parenting expert. She advocates the elegant parenting method of "no beating, no scolding and no doting" and helps children develop good habits in a way acceptable to them.
What if the child throws things around and goes his own way, and the child makes a hullabaloo about in the restaurant? The answer can be found in Farewell to Beating, Scolding and Spoiling. Elizabeth Clarie combines many psychological strategies, such as behavior correction, interactive analysis, Adler-Dachris method, and her 40 years of preschool education experience, and sums up a set of specific skills that can effectively influence children.
Elizabeth Cleary believes that many problems can be avoided by taking measures in advance. She put forward four principles to avoid conflicts: careful consideration in advance, stating expectations, organizing emotions and making rules.
For example, if you take your child on vacation, the car is driving on the highway and the child wants to eat ice cream. Obviously, the child's requirements can't be met. What would you do? Honestly? Children who are eager are ugly and may cry.
If the problem is not satisfied, then satisfy the child's emotions. Talk to children by "painting cakes to fill their hunger" and ask something like "What flavor of ice cream do you want? How many balls do you want? " Let the children start thinking about the good things that will happen next, so as to avoid the children losing control and making a fuss.
On the issue of feeding children, according to authoritative sources and experts, mothers can feed their children more scientifically, but there is no standard answer in education.
No book can solve all the problems. Books can only be used as a reference for instructors. Specific practices and methods should be selected according to children's specific conditions and family conditions, and be constantly adjusted according to children's feedback in the implementation process.
Every child has his own core nature. What a mother needs to do is to guide her children correctly and let them form good habits on the basis of respecting their nature, instead of forcibly changing their nature.