My Fair Lady is a world-famous movie. The film is about a linguist who made a bet with others that he could train a vulgar flower girl on the street to learn the accent and etiquette of the upper class and become a lady. Flower girl is Eliza, starring movie superstar Audrey Hepburn.
Linguists began to train with accents, which went well. Eliza soon mastered the upper-class accent. But others can see at a glance that she is not a lady, because her manners and manners are wrong. Later, someone gave a suggestion to linguists: If you want her to be a lady, you must treat her like a lady. So linguists followed suit, and Irina Kaptelova enjoyed the treatment of a lady and was respected everywhere. Finally became a real lady.
Why did Eliza finally become a lady? Because linguists follow an effect when treating her, that is, who do you think she is and what she will really become in the end. Psychologists have known this effect for a long time, and later everyone called it the "My Fair Lady" effect.
Speaking of the most difficult subject in middle school, physics is definitely one of the best. And I have been studying physics easily from junior high school to senior high school. At first, I thought it was because I was smart, but in recent years, I realized that it had nothing to do with IQ, because the difficulty of the whole middle school curriculum was not enough to test people's IQ. What is the reason? Actually, it's because my mother gave me a "My Fair Lady" education.
I am the earliest generation of post-90s. At that time, boys especially liked to play four-wheel drive in primary school. There are competitions every week. I think it is really crazy about four-wheel drive. I started to play four-wheel drive as soon as I finished my homework every day, participated in the competition every week, and bought various accessories after the game. At that time, there was pressure to go to school, and the price of accessories for four-wheel drive was not cheap. But my mother is very supportive of me playing four-wheel drive. I never think it's a waste of money to spend too much time playing four-wheel drive or buying accessories. On the contrary, when I got good grades in the competition, she sincerely encouraged me: "If you want to play this four-wheel drive well, you must have physical knowledge. You can play well without learning physics, and you can play well after learning physics! " . In fact, from this time on, my mother planted a very positive hint in my heart, which gave me a confidence to learn physics well. With this confidence, physics is really good. In retrospect, I really thank my mother for her "My Fair Lady" education. At first she thought I could learn physics well, but I did.
The "My Fair Lady" effect mentioned above has actually been proved by rigorous psychological experiments. The experimental object is an American primary school. American primary school teachers teach in a fixed grade, so students meet new teachers every year. At the beginning of the new year in this primary school, the experimenter claimed to measure the IQ of the students and divided each class into three groups: genius group, medium group and below medium group. In fact, this grouping is completely random, but neither teachers nor parents know it. Therefore, the teacher placed great hopes on the students in the gifted group. In the next eight months, teachers pay more attention to these students and give them more challenging questions. Even if they can't do it, teachers think that students have potential, but they haven't developed it, so they are more encouraged. Results After eight months, the average score of gifted students increased by 65438 03.4 points compared with the total average score.
When you are a child, they will show this level. Later, this phenomenon became so common that the American sociologist Robert Morton named it "self-fulfilling prophecy"-you predicted the situation, because if you followed this idea, it would really be like this.
In fact, the above three stories can be summed up in one sentence: what kind of person do you believe she is? Therefore, as a parent, you should keep telling yourself that my child is an excellent student. Only if you really believe this, the "My Fair Lady" effect will really play a role. At the same time, give parents the following suggestions:
One sentence that many parents like to say when educating their children is "How can you still have time to watch TV/play mobile phones when you are so poor?" "How is this so much lower than the last exam? What a pity! " When educating children, the words "poor" and "poor students" are often used, which is very easy to give children a negative psychological hint: I am a poor student. This will have a negative "My Fair Lady" effect. Children feel poor, even if the content is not difficult, they will find it difficult. At the same time, they have a bad test mentality, and their natural grades can't come up.
Do everything possible and seize every opportunity to encourage children. For example, after attending the parent-teacher conference, children generally care about the teacher's evaluation of themselves. At this time, it is advisable to "polish" and praise the children in a teacher's tone. "The teacher didn't mention anyone, but mentioned you and said you were smart." "After the meeting, the teacher took her mother's hand and talked with her for a long time." "The teacher is talking to other parents. As soon as she sees her, she will come and say hello warmly." These are what my mother told me when she came back from the parent-teacher conference. I am very happy and energetic every time I listen to it.
You must seize similar opportunities and give your child some sunshine to make him brilliant.
The senior high school entrance examination can be said to be my biggest Waterloo. I have never been in the top three in my class at ordinary times, and I got 33 in the senior high school entrance examination. But I was completely fooled by the result. I'm also worried that my parents will be furious. As a result, I was very moved. After I told my mother about my grades, she said nothing but unplugged the telephone line at home. Tell me it's okay, son. We won't answer any phone calls asking for scores these days. And usually my father will scold me if I don't do well in the exam, but this time he didn't mention the senior high school entrance examination at all, as if it had never happened. In this way, the frustration of the senior high school entrance examination immediately passed. I have been hanging on a string throughout the high school stage, constantly reflecting on why the senior high school entrance examination is a mistake and how to avoid it in the college entrance examination. Finally, the college entrance examination was very good. In fact, if my parents adopt a thinking attitude, such as swearing at me, it will definitely hurt my confidence and affect my future grades. So if you don't know how to encourage your child when he doesn't do well in the exam, it's also an encouragement not to say.
Trusting children is actually sending a message to children that "you are excellent, don't worry about me". This is a more advanced application of the "My Fair Lady" effect. You can let your children arrange their own study plans, decide which cram schools to enroll, and decide whether they can play games. Trust the children, they won't let you down.
This article is definitely not chicken soup. The "My Fair Lady" effect is very successful for me and many people, and it will certainly be successful for your children. Today, please reflect on whether there is any problem with the attitude and method of treating children before. If so, sincerely apologize to the child, and then sincerely believe that he is an excellent person to warm the child!