Nowadays, students hold computers and mobile phones all day, and their feelings for love and the opposite sex germinate earlier. So many adolescent girls pay more attention to the opposite sex when they are teenagers, and even talk about love.
For adolescent girls' puppy love, as parents, we must channel communication more, not just beat and scold.
1, to determine whether a girl has puppy love, you can't easily determine it based on your own guesses and assumptions, which hurts your daughter's heart.
It is best to find an appropriate opportunity to communicate with children in a relaxed and ingenious way, which can not only protect their self-esteem, but also achieve the purpose of explaining the situation to them.
2. If it is determined that the child has no puppy love, it may be that a classmate of the opposite sex cares about her. Girls only reply to text messages and phone calls out of courtesy, so that the problem is not particularly serious and parents can communicate openly with their daughters.
As parents, when talking to their daughters, especially when asking questions about feelings, we must pay attention to adjusting our mentality and speak gently. Parents should communicate with her from the perspective of protecting their children and being good to them, and try not to scold her; Otherwise, it will make the child feel embarrassed and ashamed, which will not only aggravate her rebellious psychology, but also have a counterproductive effect.
In short, parents should never regard the pure friendship between children and classmates as puppy love, but should put themselves in the inner world of children and allow and encourage children to communicate with the opposite sex normally.
In the eyes of most parents, in the eyes of most schools, puppy love is a "devil", which will make people rebel, reduce their grades and even cause unexpected harm.
Therefore, puppy love is forbidden in schools and most parents are most worried about it. When a child just reaches puberty, he will feel strange and wonderful about the newly ignorant "love", so it is easy to "fall in love".
Adolescence is a high incidence of puppy love and rebellion at the same time. When children's puppy love is discovered, most parents are anxious and helpless, especially girls, who are often the victims. We have seen many cases of junior high school students stealing forbidden fruits, but as parents, what can we do?
Some suggestions on puppy love education
1. communicate, cultivate children's correct outlook on life and values, and refuse puppy love.
2. Advise children not to oppress when they are in puppy love. This is a rebellious period, and the more they oppress, the more they resist. As parents, we should face it rationally, understand the possible related problems of puppy love, and even establish a correct view of love for our children and guide them on the right path.
3. Sex education is a taboo topic in China. When girls are found to be in puppy love, mothers must intervene in time to popularize relevant sexual knowledge and guide them to have a correct understanding of sex and realize the harm of promiscuity. Otherwise, once this happens, it will do great harm to the girl and even affect her life.
It should be sparse and not blocked. Many problems of children can be found in the family. Adolescent children need love, understanding and acceptance psychologically. If she can't get love at home, she will go out and look for it. Looking for love between peers, or looking for something similar to love. If there is no understanding and acceptance at home, she will look for it from other aspects.
Parents and teachers should have more tolerance and respect on the issue of juvenile puppy love. Can't be afraid, afraid of everything. Children today are more receptive to information. They are more independent and self-centered. Teachers and parents need to talk to them equally, observe more and communicate more. Keeping up with the trend is good for protecting them.
If I am the parent of the child, I will face such a problem. What should I do?
First, sincerely accept, understand and let the other person feel. This is a natural phenomenon, which is bound to happen. You can't say that it is wrong for a willow to sprout in spring, but it should sprout in spring. Adolescence is the time of germination, and it is normal for men and women to have a good impression on each other.
Second, be each other's bosom friends. The most important thing is not to give the correct concept first, but to know everything. If you have a full understanding of one thing, you will worry less. As long as the other person is willing to express to you, things are things.
Third, be an expert on each other's love. If you have questions, you must answer them. If you have difficulties, you must help them. Don't think you are an expert.
Fourth, sort out your ambitions and rediscover your life goals. Of course, it is a goal other than love. Let ambition be the dominant factor in life.
Puppy love refers to the relationship between underage men and women or their interest in the same sex or the opposite sex, infatuation or unrequited love. The word "puppy love" has the negative emotional color of elders, and it is widely used in the world only in Chinese mainland. Puppy love generally refers to the love between teenagers below college, especially between primary and secondary school students.
The above is the definition of puppy love, that is, the love relationship that happens to primary and secondary school students. As a girl, there is the problem of puppy love, and parents' worries are usually concentrated in two aspects.
First of all, a girl's physical and psychological characteristics doomed her to be the vulnerable party in love. Therefore, in the period of youth ignorance, girls are more susceptible to influence, and some influences are even lifelong.
On the other hand, parents will also worry that puppy love will take up most of their children's energy and time, leading to a decline in their academic performance. China students who take the college entrance examination as the baton, their academic performance is the most important evaluation basis of their youth. How can parents not pay attention?
Nevertheless, parents must be cautious when dealing with girls' puppy love, and try to persuade them instead of blocking them. First of all, try not to show your firm opposition, but let the children know that they are worried based on the above two factors. The so-called communication is to let the other party know what they are thinking. If you can't understand each other, then communication is a failure. Second, we should help children to establish correct aesthetics and values. The love relationship between boys and girls in the class is usually based on a certain value judgment and is generally influenced by the environment. And girls usually should have a higher principle, which is best based on knowledge and taste. Third, we must have a healthy and good family relationship. Children don't need to find a substitute for fatherly love or motherly love outside the family, and they can find someone to talk to or communicate with in time about any ideological or life problems.
In short, improve your taste, observe carefully, treat correctly and wait patiently. The older you get, the less involved your parents are. Being a calm and rational parent is very important for the growth of children.
I believe that everyone has come from this stage. Adolescence is the stage when hormones are awakened and burned vigorously. It is not advisable for junior high school students to suppress their strong self-awareness and curiosity about the opposite sex.
Never say that girls affect my children's study, but treat such problems correctly. Handsome men and beautiful women attract each other, and there is no saying that one affects the other. Being able to say such a thing really defiles the child's innocent feelings.
Faced with this situation, adults had better talk to their children with an open attitude, instead of blindly instilling the argument that "puppy love is poison", which is easy to arouse the rebellious psychology of the little boy and is not conducive to communication. If his grades in class are not affected by puppy love, let him go, but do a good job in sex education and tell him what to do and what kind of bottom line not to touch.
When I was in junior high school, I also had an ignorant but persistent crush on adolescence, and I also had a "puppy love" that only held hands for four years. Adolescent feelings should be treated correctly, but because they are young, they can't be handled correctly, and the negative impact on academic performance is also very great. At this time, the correct guidance of adults is particularly important.
Finally, parents go to the class teacher, and foolish intervention is the most rude way to solve the problem.
Psychological Counseling for Adolescent Puppy Love: Self-control
Chongqing Cuncaoxin psychological counseling reminds that puppy love is common. If parents, schools and teachers don't guide them correctly and give them enough positive influence, it is nothing new for children to steal forbidden fruits in the process of love. Facing the so-called "sex", why are middle school students so precocious and calm today? Many parents and teachers hide the topic, and children will be confident and frank when they speak.
Perhaps there is nothing wrong with children falling in love early, because parents have no time to accompany them, because no one knows how to understand themselves. Being with your parents is like urging and torturing yourself in addition to your academic performance, just like what they have done. But when you are outside with your favorite classmates, you can be free, you can lose your temper, the other party can listen to their grievances patiently, and you can have a relaxing space of your own. So why not be together? What can mom and dad give besides food, clothing, housing and transportation?
Maybe many parents didn't consider it. I believe that parents are concerned about their children, but they can really understand and understand their inner needs. It is indeed worthy of parents' reflection, instead of waiting for problems and tragedies to happen before they know what they lack for their children.
When something goes wrong, don't put the blame on the children. Many times, children are innocent. Looking back, many puppy love and problem children will have a problem family to support them. Parents of children need to re-examine and sort out their relationship. Of course, they can also blame the problems on schools, teachers and society. Chongqing Cuncaoxin Psychological Counseling emphasizes that it will not be others who will ultimately pay for this kind of injury. Children are still young and need the care and correct guidance of parents, teachers and society. How to pay attention to children's mental health, how to care for children's hearts and let children learn to control and take care of themselves in life is also the unshirkable responsibility of parents, teachers and people with social responsibility.
Cuncao's psychological counseling suggests that sex education for teenagers should be strengthened so that they can establish a correct concept of sex. Puppy love is not a problem. The problem is how to grow up healthily and happily in puppy love as a middle school student. As families, schools and children themselves, how to fulfill their responsibilities and how to be responsible for themselves is also a topic that needs attention at present.
If there is love in the sky, the sky will be old, and the heart will have nothing to worry about!