When I see a child being bullied, I will first judge the extent to which the child's grievances have reached, and then tell the child, "Mom understands you. You are just wronged because you feel that your mother is not with you when you are in trouble. " When a person has enough sense of security and self-confidence, he will not easily feel hurt and change himself because of the opinions of outsiders.
Sometimes, we feel that our children are being bullied, but the children themselves don't feel this way. For example, my son used to play games with older children in the community. Those older children used to play in two groups. I
The son followed them. Two groups of older children attacked each other with water guns. When they saw my son following them for a while to pick up things and shout, they thought he was annoyed, so the two groups suddenly surrounded my son in the middle to use water.
Shoot me.
In the eyes of adults, several older children who are one head taller than their own children besieged themselves, which easily made people feel that their children were bullied. But I asked my son afterwards and found that he didn't feel this way. On the contrary, he felt very excited.
I finally have a chance to play with older children. Later, the son also successfully integrated into this group of older children, helping them carry "bullets" and stand guard. Therefore, in this matter, parents can't be preconceived by their own judgment.
I feel that the child is being bullied. If children have no negative emotions and feel bullied, adults don't need to get involved in their games. They should believe that children can solve problems by themselves.
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First of all, you should protect your body and life.
Interviewee: psychological counselor Lan Ya.
In the face of children being beaten by classmates at school or threatened by gangsters in society, there is actually no standard answer for parents to deal with. At home, I will discuss human instinct with my children-when being attacked in danger, fighting and running are the ways that most people will choose, but is there any other way?
When a child encounters someone attacking him, if the other person is a classmate and not aggressive, there are many ways to choose. If the child is smart enough, he can find a way to avoid the attack himself or ask the teacher for help. But if the other party is very malicious or even provocative, and our children are in an unguarded state, we must take action according to the situation.
If parents want to teach their son to defend his rights when he is bullied, they can tell him, "Don't let others get the chance to hurt you." If there is no accident between the aggressive child and your child.
Don't have a big conflict. Parents can let their children grab each other's hands to stop them from hurting themselves, or shout at each other to stop them. But if a girl or a fragile boy is bullied by a classmate, the children's strength conflicts.
In terms of disadvantages, parents should remind their children not only to have a correct attitude, but also to find suitable opportunities to go out.
Parents should not always emphasize "if others hit you, you will fight back" or emphasize "avoid conflict and put peace first". Both of these practices are easy to make children's understanding fall into extremes. Parents can't just tell their children in one way.
Coping, but learning to teach children to analyze different situations, is the most important teaching method. If you are worried that your child will be bullied again and again, and you think that your child may not be able to fight back, you can prepare your child for some injuries.
Use less sex tools, such as pepper spray. Parents must tell their children that "you must protect your body and life first".
Children who are aggressive themselves are not suitable for being taught to fight back.
Interviewee: Luo Jinhai, science fiction writer and media commentator.
I read a story that impressed me deeply, telling the family education Hillary received: Hillary had a fight with others when she was a child, and she came home crying. Her family told her: "Don't cry, the next time someone hits you, you have to fight back, which is much more useful than crying." But now I think that it is not teaching children to fight back that children will become stronger, but parents should learn to observe their children.
My child is gentle and not aggressive. If he is bullied by others outside, I will tell him that you can't be too tolerant of others. When a child is bullied, I will ask the reasons and details, and I will tell him not to.
Let yourself be bullied by others and teach him some ways to attack each other. Therefore, when a child is beaten, parents should first understand the child's personality and then take different measures. If some children are aggressive,
Parents have been unable to guide him to fight back.
Also, parents' education methods are different. If one parent gives priority to encouragement, the other parent should teach him analysis. In short, educational methods should complement each other. My wife is gentle in character, and will not teach children how to fight back and fight back, but only tell them how to avoid conflicts. I belong to a fierce character, so I will let my children learn to defend.
"Answer blows with blows" will encourage children's aggression.
Interviewee: Ma, coach of early education center.
I have a student's child named Yue Yue. When she was playing in kindergarten, a toy was robbed by an overbearing child. At first, Yue Yue ignored the children and chose a new toy from the toy box, but she didn't play much.
Zhong, an overbearing child, came over and gave it a push, and took the toy away again. This time, Yue Yue gave the child a good beating with a toy. Unexpectedly, the child's mother happened to witness this scene outside the classroom. She rushed over.
Come and pick up Yue Yue and take her to see the teacher. ...
In this regard, Yue Yue's mother is very confused. She thinks it's wrong to hit people anyway, but she can't stand her children being bullied all the time. In this regard, I think: mom and dad should tell her how to control negative emotions correctly and find appropriate ways to protect rights, instead of responding with blows on impulse.
Teaching children to fight back when they are bullied will encourage their aggression and only make them lose themselves in a cooperative society. Based on this, what parents should do is to communicate with their children and help guide them after they have aggressive behavior.
Emotion. At the same time, parents should understand that a child's efforts to safeguard his rights and interests will enhance his sense of value. If he flinches in the face of bullying, this sense of value will gradually fade away. But although counterattack is the solution to the problem.
However, it is recommended that children actively communicate with their classmates who bully them, or ask teachers to coordinate.