Zheng, the king of fairy tales, told a story about how to make children filial to their parents in one of his books:
Many years ago, shortly after the rise of television, flat-panel TVs began to appear in some big cities.
One day, Zheng, who lives in Beijing, took his ten-year-old son to the shopping mall to buy a TV set. We know that in the 1990s, flat-screen TV was a luxury brand that many ordinary people could not afford. Having a flat screen TV at home is enough to make children feel proud and happy. Little Yaqi happily followed her father.
On the way home with a TV, Zheng Yaqi said to his father, "Dad, are we going the wrong way?"
Zheng said, "No, this TV set is for your grandparents."
Xiao Yaqi was a little unhappy when she heard her father say this.
Zheng guessed his son's mind and said to him earnestly, "Grandparents are over sixty this year. How many years can they watch? " ! You are still young, I am still young, and I can see any high-tech in the future, but your grandparents may not have a chance ... "
Ten-year-old Zheng Yaqi listened to his father and nodded silently.
Zheng, the king of fairy tales, set an example for children to honor the elderly with his own practical actions.
He said:
"If you want your child to be filial to you when he grows up, you just need to be filial to his grandfather, grandmother, grandmother and grandfather in front of the child."
What do parents do now when educating their children? They mistakenly think that as long as they are good to their children, they will be good to themselves when they grow up. Usually manifested in the following three aspects:
1 equivalent exchange-be good to children, and children will be good to you.
Parents think that children know how to repay kindness. I have worked hard for my children for most of my life. When I am old, children can't be ungrateful, can't ignore themselves, and can't ignore themselves.
Facts have proved that the more parents spoil their children, the less they can get their children's understanding and kindness.
Instead, I stick to my parents all day, just like sticking cakes. Even in adulthood, they still spend their parents' pensions after getting married and having children. If they have no money, they will ask their parents for it, and they will keep crying for their parents.
It is no accident that some children beat their parents after their parents refused to give them pocket money. Open various online platforms, and you will find that there are many children who abuse their parents.
After sighing, we really should sit down and calmly consider how not to train the child into a "baiwenhang", at the very least, let him become a grateful person.
Complaining and preaching-I missed the chance of promotion in order to give birth to you.
Some parents, in order to remind their children of their kindness, will keep nagging in front of their children: "That year, because I gave birth to you, I lost the opportunity for promotion." Growing up is not filial. I feel sorry for myself. "
"You see, in order to provide you with a good university, we work hard. When we get old, we won't move. You must treat us well! "
"I do this, not just for your own good? Busy with work and busy at home, who can I expect if you don't live up to expectations? "
……
Parents think that telling these words to their children will make them remember and be grateful. Actually, it is not!
Parents say these words to their children, which will not only make them remember their parents' kindness, but also cause certain psychological confusion and burden to them.
3 Pretending to be sick and showing weakness-win the sympathy and pain of children
There is also a kind of parents around us who pretend to be weak in front of their children in order to gain their sympathy and compassion. Su Daqiang in Everything is OK is a typical representative of this kind of parents.
Besides, he is good at acting. One minute he said he was uncomfortable, and the next he said he was uncomfortable, which made several children in a hurry.
Su Daqiang is very lucky to have three filial children. Although his daughter Su Mingyu knew his nature, she didn't care about him.
If the child is unfilial, even if you are really ill, he won't come to see you. At that time, it was time to call for no futility and despair every day.
Life, there is really reincarnation.
A neighbor in my hometown, I should call him aunt by seniority. She is over 70 years old and has raised two daughters and three sons all her life.
Three years ago, my wife got sick and left her. Over the years, she lived alone and ate the last meal without the next.
Once, I asked my mother-in-law, "Why don't her son and daughter take turns to take care of her?"
The mother-in-law sighed and said: "The two daughters are not filial, and it is a burden to abandon their mothers; The second son's daughter-in-law said that she was partial and didn't want to raise it; The third son was physically disabled and finally married a daughter-in-law, but he dared not disobey. Only the eldest son and daughter-in-law are good to the elderly. Originally, the eldest son and daughter-in-law wanted to take her home. The old man felt ashamed (because the old man abused the eldest daughter-in-law when he was a child) and didn't want to disturb them, so he lived alone. "
Later, my mother-in-law sighed and said, "people, they all make their own sins!" If she had been filial to her in-laws when she was young, she would not have ended up like this when she was old. "
It turns out that when she was young, the old lady was bitter, not filial to her in-laws and drove them out of the house. ...
Be filial to your parents and start from yourself.
Children are born with a strong ability to imitate. He can't hear what his parents say, but he can see what his parents are doing and internalize what he sees into his own thoughts. If you want your children to be filial to you when they grow up, I suggest you do the following four things from now on.
The first aspect, when eating, invite the elderly to sit down.
Once I went to a classmate's house to be a guest, and my classmate's mother cooked a big table of good dishes for us.
While eating, the old man was still busy in the kitchen. Several of us said that the old man should have a rest and have dinner with us. The old man smiled and said, "You eat first, leave me alone, and take the last bite of soup. I'll leave when I'm ready."
At this time, my classmate came over and said, "Mom, you should accompany Xiaoya (the classmate's child) to eat with them first, and I will make soup."
The old man smiled and quickly said, "No, no ..."
Finally, my classmate insisted that her mother-in-law sit at the dinner table and work in the kitchen by herself. ...
After this, I found that this classmate deserves to make friends.
The second aspect is not to talk about the right and wrong of the elderly in front of their children.
Nowadays, in many families, it is very common for young parents to discuss the faults of the elderly in front of their children.
It is common for a daughter-in-law to say that her in-laws are wrong.
Most of the reasons are contradictions arising from different views on raising children.
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a big problem in the family. Regardless of who is right and who is wrong. If you have a son who quarrels with his in-laws in front of his son, what will his son think?
What is certain is that when he grows up and marries a wife, she will also quarrel with you. This is not alarmism, this is the law.
The third aspect is not to blame and lose face.
Many people think that filial piety means buying good clothes, a big house to live in and delicious food for the elderly. Actually, it is not.
Companionship is the greatest filial piety.
The ultimate wish of parents is that their children live well, be happy and often go home when they have time!
The greatest filial piety of parents to their children is not to let their parents eat delicacies and wear gold and silver all day, but to keep them from making trouble, losing face and getting angry.
Seeing that she didn't clean the pot because of her old age, she quietly brushed it again. ...
Fourth, good things should be given to the elderly first.
Children's filial piety to their parents is reflected in the details of life.
When you go shopping in the mall, you will think of bringing some to your parents when you see delicious food.
When the season changes, I know how to add clothes to my parents and buy household items for my parents.
Parents' illness and meticulous care for their parents can all reflect their filial piety.
You know, your words and deeds, every move, the children are all in the eye. How do you treat your parents? When your children grow up, they will treat you with the same attitude.
It is not easy to raise children to prevent old age, but it is ok and cherished!