"My son is basically very good and obedient, but he doesn't care much about eating. Of course, I think parents are also responsible. Then a close colleague helped me educate my son to eat well. She will call him fiercely and say that he is not eating well. She reached out her little hand and slapped him a few times, and then my son would let him hit him obediently, and then he would eat. At that time, he was over three years old, and I thought it was good to have a fierce person. I'm four years old now. I met her once and she asked my son if he liked lunch. The son said that he had eaten a steamed stuffed bun and a few mouthfuls of rice. She thought he didn't enjoy it, so she asked my son to take off his pants and spank him. My son took off his underwear reluctantly. She told him to take off his underwear, too, and then my son took it off (his eyes were always on her aunt). She tapped twice. Said she would eat well in the future and correct it. My son didn't want to sleep in the afternoon, because he got up late in the morning, so she had to let him sleep. He should play with his aunt. His aunt invited him, but he dared not. I'm still obedient and go to bed. I woke up in less than 20 minutes (I slept late in the morning). My aunt was very distressed and told me about it, feeling that her colleagues had passed. I feel that the child has been traumatized. Do you think I did something wrong, too I shouldn't let others educate me like this? How can I appease the child? How to remedy it? "

As an ordinary parent, to be honest, when I first saw this problem, I immediately had five instinctive subconscious reactions:

First, whether the parents who raised this question on the online platform may have just invented such a story on the Internet out of some kind of emotional venting needs, which does not exist in reality;

Second, if the reality is really like this, the author needs to be speechless for a few minutes, turn over, and then think that this situation will really happen in the current family education, and it will last for more than 1 year;

Did the parents of this child learn the basic parenting skills before giving birth? Even if it is to find some relatively reliable parenting books to read? (Note: The reliable books mentioned here refer to books or articles similar to the Parenting Guide written by people who have never had children or raised children, because such people need to find the north first and then give you guidance, no matter how incisive and in-depth they are in theory);

I don't know the parents of this child and their respective parents. What is the situation of family of origin? In particular, what is the concept of parenting and the way of family education?

5. Other information that is not mentioned in the background materials of this parental problem, but is likely to be the main influencing factor?

In the author's cognitive range, I put forward my personal views on such parenting cases and give the following suggestions for interested parents' reference:

First, all parents are parents for the first time, and it is inevitable that they will make some incorrect parenting behaviors and hold some immature parenting concepts because of their lack of parenting experience;

Second, parents like this child need to immediately stop the seriously wrong way of raising children. In addition to taking back the responsibility of raising children and taking full responsibility for themselves, they also need to make up scientific parenting knowledge immediately and put it into action;

According to the background materials of this problem, the poor child's physical and mental health has been greatly damaged, and parents need scientific guidance and intervention. With good guidance, he may gradually recover his physical and mental health in a short time. Poor guidance may also take a long time to be unpredictable temporarily, or even a lifetime of exploration.

Fourth, eating is a pleasant thing in itself. If children turn eating into evading punishment, they have no reason to deny that in the process of parenting, parents are bound to make mistakes;

Fifth, parents with similar problems need to add something on this matter.

1. Parents need to review, reflect, observe and analyze all past and present external behavior habits and corresponding possible psychological activities that may be related to "children can't eat well";

2. Looking back, observing and analyzing, what are the parents' own eating habits these years? Parents' role models are more powerful than any textbooks and other outsiders' preaching;

3. Children don't like eating, which may be related to children's physique, spleen-stomach disharmony, parents' guiding eating habits, and parents' own eating rules after adulthood. Parents need to recall and observe these situations and make adjustments;

4. Give children proper and beneficial exercise, promote the coordinated development of digestion and body, and increase appetite.

Six, parents need to do subtraction in this matter:

1, reducing parents' anxiety about this matter;

2. Reduce excessive attention to children's diet;

3. Reduce giving children unnecessary snacks (especially unhealthy snacks);

Parents and children should adjust possible irregular eating habits.

Seven. Other suggestions

1. Need a reliable professional institution or hospital to make an evaluation for the child, and decide whether to intervene through the professional institution or hospital according to the evaluation results; Or parents should study hard, under the guidance of reliable professionals, and intervene while learning in the daily process of raising children until the children return to the normal physical and mental health level of their peers;

2. Combine the problem of children's eating and systematically learn the way of scientific parenting. From birth to adulthood, the whole law of physical and mental development requires parents to study hard, master and put it into effective action.

When everyone is feeling how "other people's children" are always so excellent, as parents, we also need to know whether there is a great probability that there is a good parent who keeps learning and practicing behind the excellent children.