It's true that I always want to protect my children and fear that they will be wronged a little, but things often don't develop with my parents' ideas. Even if children grow up, they will always be hurt by some seemingly insignificant setbacks.
Now it seems that when many children have emotional breakdown, most of the reasons are the education and living environment, and excessive doting will harm them.
Many parents have neglected to give their children frustration education since childhood. This view is absolutely not refuted now, and it is beginning to understand that "children will not suffer now, but will suffer more in the future." Therefore, frustration education is also very important for children.
"Frustration education" not only means "frustration", but also means enduring "blow".
The so-called frustration education means that the educated suffer setbacks in the process of education, but it will stimulate the potential of the educated, so as to achieve the ability of the educated to master knowledge and face setbacks.
A relatively large number of parents obviously have great misunderstandings about frustration education. In the eyes of such parents, it is to let the children suffer. Therefore, parents have always let their children face hardships and bear them. It is still a constant blow to children's initiative and enthusiasm. In the end, it will only make children feel frustrated and painful and feel hit.
There is such an example in the parent-child variety show "Teenagers Say". A junior high school girl grew up under the attack of her mother. The mother of the child has never seen the advantages of the child, nor has she seen the continuous progress of the child. Even on the show, she just kept attacking her daughter.
I believe my mother's point of view is good, but obviously wrong. This kind of education will only hit my children blindly and leave indelible pain in their hearts. At the beginning, Ivy committed suicide because of the influence of parents' excessive frustration education on their children.
A considerable number of parents always think that frustration education is good for their children. Some parents have a strange idea, that is, "as long as I keep showing dissatisfaction, my children will always be in a very difficult situation."
But this practice is very wrong, parents will be more likely to crush their children's psychology and make them weak.
I have seen such a question about frustration education on the famous Q&A website. Here is an answer: I have never been praised by my family since I was a child, and I will be criticized for everything I do.
But her mother has always believed that only such blows and setbacks can make the child stronger and make him better, but the fact is just the opposite. Although he has a life and ability envied by many people, he always shows great timidity and cowardice.
"Frustration education" focuses on "education" rather than "frustration"
Maslow, a famous sociologist, once said that frustration is not necessarily a bad thing for children, but the key lies in their attitude towards frustration.
In fact, the starting point of frustration education is correct, but many parents seem to have made a mistake in the direction of education, and frustration education has become putting the cart before the horse.
Frustration education is to teach children to face setbacks and learn to accept setbacks, instead of constantly hitting children with setbacks and making them feel inferior.
Once, when I happened to browse the news list on my mobile phone, I saw such a video that the little girl cried to her father and asked him to change "what made her unhappy", but his father told his daughter with a serious face: "Why? I don't want you to be like a flower living in a greenhouse forever. What should I do after the storm? "
The father's idea is right, and the starting point of talking to the children is no problem, but we should pay attention to not letting our children always go through storms without giving them protection at all.
Otherwise, it is doting on children. Just going from one extreme to the other is still very unhelpful to children.
Plants want to grow better, not only through the wind and the sun, but also through the nourishment of rain and dew. So do people. Experiencing setbacks will refresh children's ability to resist stress, but always experiencing setbacks and blows will only make children feel more inferior.
In fact, for children, frustration education is to improve their ability to face setbacks, rather than destroying them with setbacks.