1. Communication consists of "ditch" and "communication", ditch: methods and methods. T: the result. Communication itself is a pair of cause and effect.

2. Communication forms: communication between human beings and alien civilizations, diplomacy between countries, communication between companies, communication between companies and customers, communication between husband and wife, etc. We mainly talk about communication between parents and children.

3. The focus of communication is on the ditch. Establishing a happy parent-child communication model is the first and key part of family education.

Second, four ways of communication

We have to experience spring, summer, autumn and winter in a year, so let's use the mode of heaven to say four modes of communication:

1. Winter mode: no ditch. Features: features: freezing, blocking and blocking.

For example, in the family, couples or parents are in a state of cold war and indifference, which is a state without barriers and very cold.

2. Autumn mode: ditch and impassability. Features: cold and cold, repeated education does not change. The way most people communicate.

For example, parents often preach to their children, but the children always don't listen and don't change after repeated teaching. This is a typical "ditch impassability" mode (autumn mode). In practical education, the proportion of autumn mode exceeds 90%. This model is ubiquitous, is the mainstream model, and even people have become accustomed to it.

3. Spring mode: communication. Features: Comfortable, effective and fruitful.

The spring pattern is very important to everyone.

4. Summer mode: no ditch. Features: warm, hot and unobstructed.

This is the highest realm of communication, and there is no need to be deliberate. There is a tacit understanding and a good fit between people. This model is what we want to pursue.

Third, innate communication mode and acquired communication mode.

There are two modes of communication in spring, summer, autumn and winter: congenital mode and acquired mode.

1. Acquired communication mode: It is a intrapersonal communication mode and also a intrapersonal communication mode. It does not consider children's feelings, takes parents' feelings as the premise and takes parents as the center of communication mode. The communication mode of the command is also one-way mode. Parents give orders, but children can't give feedback. This mode of communication, without wisdom and wishful thinking, is a failure in itself and will eventually end in failure.

Extension: There is a principle in China's classic military classics: "Know yourself and know yourself, and you will win every battle." . In other words, we should not only know ourselves, but also know each other, not only how we feel now, but also how our children feel now. This is the starting point of our communication, but many parents don't have this kind of "no-self" consciousness, and often take the "self" consciousness as the leading factor, so the communication effect is very poor.

2. Congenital communication mode: it is a "no-self" communication mode. That is, the communication mode of "no parents". When parents don't pay attention to their own values and feelings, but pay attention to their children's feelings, cognition and congenital, you will find a complete world, thus entering the children's world, and it is easy to be with children, guiding and influencing their world.

Extension: the allusion of Dayu's water control. Dayu's father Gun tried to control water mainly by blocking, but failed. Dayu focused on dredging, mainly on dredging, because he mastered the nature of water and succeeded.

Fourth, common situations in children's nature.

Knowing the nature of children, we also know which way to communicate with children. Based on his years of practice, the teacher introduced the most common situations in children's nature to parents in innate terms, so that everyone could understand the Yijing culture and some wisdom left by our ancestors.

1. Hua Gaixing children

What is a canopy? When the ancient kings went out, the gorgeous umbrella cover stretched out on their heads or cars was above the kings, which was a noble thing.

Nature and performance: Strong self-esteem, not subject to words, very disgusted with all criticism, listening but not listening. This child's nature, in the Book of Changes, is called gorgeous.

Communication password: after understanding the characteristics of children wearing Hua Gaixing, on the premise of respect, give children heartfelt respect and full of respect.

2. Children of ordinary stars

Nature and performance: I am in charge of my affairs, and I hate others making decisions for me, even my closest parents, I will resist!

For example, in life, some parents arrange everything for their children and help them make judgments about right and wrong. Although the child knows that what his parents said is right, he is unwilling to carry out the arrangement decision because the child did not make it himself. Such children are born to be ordinary stars.

Communication password: If children are independent, we will let them make their own decisions and stand up by themselves.

Note: Some parents bring their own generals and want to make decisions for everyone in the family, which leads to confrontation with their children. When parents find that their children's generals are better than themselves, we should let go of ourselves and make our children more independent and learn to be independent.

3. Children with strong self-control ability

Nature and performance: I like to finish everything under my own control, and I don't allow outside intervention. Right or wrong, self-control is full of sense of accomplishment for children.

For example, some parents don't understand their children, and when they do something, they intervene in the middle, and the children are very angry. The child's nature is self-control.

Communication password: Don't interfere and control children.

4. Children with mental emptiness

Nature and performance: language and behavior are empty, especially romantic, and love unrealistic fantasies.

For example, in life, some children often break their promises, do things without perseverance, fail to honor their promises, and forget them like a gust of wind. Parents don't understand their children's nature, so they easily label their children as "dishonest and morally corrupt", thus wronged their children. Such a child, in fact, is born with empty evil.

Communication password: learn to tolerate children and don't blindly label them.

Children born with a lot of soil (heavy soil)

Character and performance: slow pace, slow but steady, kind, able to work under pressure. Have a good appetite and look fat. For example, some parents arrange their children to do things, and the children will do them, but the pace is often half a beat slow. When parents with a strong sense of rhythm meet, there will be contradictions when they meet.

Communication password: Parents should cater to their children's rhythm, satisfy their children's nature first, and then guide them slowly.

6. I was born with six red children

Nature and performance: hands and feet are often out of control, love to move around, like to fight with parents and elders, and even start work. (fair)

Communication password: parents should be friends with their children, and don't communicate with their children by words and acts of violence, otherwise it will increase their nature.

Conclusion: We have talked about six common congenital characteristics of children. Grasping these characteristics will grasp the essence of children, communicate with children by nature, and finally fulfill parents' wishes and requirements.

Fifth, children's innate way of communication.

1. and a glib child.

Method: repeat (pay attention to the child's speech and let him express himself)

If parents can also talk freely, children's eloquence will rebound (rebound on grams) Communicate (listen) with children with ears, so that children like to talk to their parents.

2. Being with a quiet child

Way: Don't let children talk more, let children listen more and think more.

The reason why children don't like to talk is that there is an answer in the Book of Changes: insufficient heart function and insufficient heart.

Note: A child can speak eloquently, but his thinking power may not be enough. A quiet child with a strong mind.

3. With children with strong mobility

For example, when children see a beautiful flower, they will take their parents to see it.

Way: act with your children and walk with your own children.

4. Children with a strong sense of touch (perceptual children)

Mode: "Recognition" communication mode.

For example, children who are beaten, physically collided, or addicted to games tell him that it doesn't matter, but after taking away the game equipment directly, the effect is particularly good because their feelings come out.

5. Being with children with good eyesight

Way: Communicate with children visually and show them things.

Some children are told by their parents that it is useless, but they will understand when they are shown something. Such a child is a child with strong vision.

Summary: The above five modes are based on physiological communication modes. Parents can observe their children in their daily lives. Some children are repetitive, some are repetitive, some are tactile, some are visual and some are hard of hearing (effective at first hearing). When parents find the communication mode with their children, they find the communication switch, and communication is easy.

Teaching intransitive verbs without words

Teaching without words is the truly attractive education, landing education and innate category. Source: Tao Te Ching, emphasizing role models. Parents often make mistakes: talk too much, teach by example. For example, some parents say to their children, "When you are young, you should pay attention to your health, go to bed early and get up early, and exercise more", but children find that parents have never done what they told their children, and even their own behavior is a negative example.

Parents need to think: Did you do it yourself? Did the child see you do it? If the parents did it, but the children didn't see it, it wouldn't work. Only when parents do it, children see it and feel it, can our example be complete.

Conclusion: Before we ask our children to do it, parents must do it themselves. This is called the unity of knowledge and action.