If a child is criticized or humiliated by others, he may not care too much, but if his parents belittle him, he will doubt his own psychology and even believe that he is what his parents say. Slowly, children will form psychological defects such as inferiority and loneliness, and some will be violent.
Parents should avoid it? Shame? Language Many parents don't know what language is suitable for their children. Shame? In fact, Kaka's mother is lonely, so parents should avoid degrading their children's language. For example, the following:
First,? You are so stupid! ? 、? Why are you so stupid? ?
I believe many parents have said this to their children intentionally or unintentionally. In fact, I used to say Kaka often, and I didn't take it seriously. I didn't expect these words to have an impact on children.
Until one day, I said to Kaka: Why are you so stupid? ? He answered me naturally:? I'm so stupid. ? I just realized my mistake.
Kaka's mother suggested: Do parents usually say children? Stupid? 、? Stupid? And so on, are humiliating language, which will bring great harm to children's minds, but unfortunately many parents don't realize this.
Although sometimes a child's words and deeds will give parents a headache, do they think he is really? Stupid? . But do we scold them? Stupid? 、? Stupid? Is it useful? Will they say it's because of us? Stupid? Become smarter? Of course not. Doing this will actually make children really believe that they are better than others? Stupid? , than others? Stupid? .
In fact, every child has his own advantages and disadvantages. So, what about parents? Stupid? When you need education, you might as well praise his advantages first, and then tell him your expectations. For example, a mother can say to her child:? You are a hard-working child, and my mother believes that you will do your homework well. ?
As long as parents insist on giving their children positive expectations, then their children will make progress slowly.
Second,? I don't have children like you! If only I hadn't given birth to you! ?
Are you surprised to see these two sentences? I can't believe that some parents really say such things to their children? However, in reality, many parents say this to their children! What do many parents say when they are tired or angry?
In Guangdong, many parents have a mantra: it is better to have barbecued pork buns than to have you tell the truth. Every time I hear parents say this about their children, I really want to stop them. Because of this type, it not only completely denies the value of the child, but also hurts the child's heart and will seriously affect the parent-child relationship.
Kaka's mother suggested that parents try to avoid saying these words that hurt their children, and don't take them as a mantra. If you say these words, you must apologize to your child in time, tell your child why you said something wrong, and then ask your child for forgiveness. At least let the child know that he is unique and his parents love him unconditionally.
However, parents' apologies are better than nothing, which may not make children understand and understand. Therefore, the best way is not to say such things to the child that will hurt him.
Third,? What does this have to do with you? Why do you ask? ?
Children are curious, so they often ask their parents some puzzling questions. Some parents will be happy to answer their children's questions when they are free; But if children ask them questions when they are busy or bored, they will ignore them.
They will directly ignore the children's questions, and sometimes they will blame the children: Why do you ask this? What does this have to do with you? Mind your own business! You might as well read a book when you are free. ? Parents do this, which will make the child's fragile mind suffer a great blow.
Kaka's mother suggested that parents should control their emotions and try not to stimulate their children when communicating with them. When children keep asking themselves questions, parents can first find out what the purpose of children asking this question is. Want to know the answer to this question? Or do you want to chat with your parents?
If the child simply wants to know the answer to this question, then parents can tell him the answer directly; If children want to chat with their parents by asking questions, then parents should satisfy their children and have a good chat with them.
Fourth,? If I were you, I wouldn't do it. ?
It is natural and normal for parents to love their children and hope that their children will take fewer detours. Therefore, many parents like to give advice to their children when they do something wrong and say to them: If I were you, I wouldn't do it! Will I?
Although parents say this for the sake of their children, children are easy to resist, because this sentence only emphasizes their parents' ideas and does not respect their children's opinions, so children will think that their parents are blaming themselves.
Kaka's mother suggested: In fact, parents can try to put it another way. For example, you can say to your child:? Mom thinks it might be better to do so. Try dad's method. It should be good. ? In this way, it is much easier for children to accept.
Conclusion: There is no doubt that parents love their children. However, in the process of communicating with children, many parents unintentionally hurt their children's fragile hearts because they don't know communication skills. I don't know these humiliating words. Will parents tell their children? If there is, it will be avoided in the future!
In fact, when children usually do something wrong, it is best for parents to guide their children with positive and incomplete negative language. This is not only effective, but also helpful to cultivate the parent-child relationship between parents and children.
The above is my answer, I hope I can help you.