Maybe I can't beat my granddaughter. The little girl's grandmother took her back and found her another child to play with.
At this time, the two children came to play with the little girl again, but because grandma didn't allow them, the little girl didn't play with them.
As a mother, I can understand the practice of this child's grandmother. After all, any parents must not want to see their children wronged. However, some roads must be taken by children themselves, and only after they have experienced them can they really gain something.
Too much involvement of adults in children's interpersonal communication seems to help children get angry, but it will make children more and more lost and at a loss in interpersonal communication.
Just like that little girl, grandma can't play with her friends, and neither can the two children. Finally, the little girl had to be alone.
1 Don't say to your child, "Don't play with others unless they play with you." Children will have many sensitive periods during their growth, and so will interpersonal communication.
Sun Ruixue, an expert in children's education, said: "If children want to develop the sensitive period of interpersonal relationships, they must complete such a cycle by themselves. In this cycle, children are given space to deal with their own problems, and adults will only intervene when children need it.
However, intervention is not to tell children what to do, but to listen to them, let them talk about their disputes, and let them find problems in the relationship themselves. "
One day, Yan Yan met the same situation as a little girl: she was playing with a classmate in kindergarten, and her classmate's good friend came, and then three little girls discussed playing hide-and-seek with it, and Yan Yan was alone.
But she was still waiting in the grass, so I went over and pretended to look for her and called her out of the grass. Just then, two children came over, and Yan Yan immediately ran to talk to them, but the two children seemed to forget the existence of Yan Yan, and went to play by themselves without answering her.
Yan Yan stood there, staring at the back of two little girls with ecstasy.
Looking at Yan Yan's lonely appearance, I am very distressed and want to say to her: Your classmate doesn't want to play with you, let's go find someone else to play with, and don't play with her. But I still didn't say it, because I understand that children should have the freedom to find problems, solve problems and design solutions. If I deprive her of this freedom, she will lose this precious exercise opportunity.
So I stayed behind her and waited for her final choice. Soon, Yan Yan ran to find a new child.
This incident did not affect the relationship between Yan Yan and her classmates. Every time I see her, Yan Yan will still greet her warmly and say that they are friends. Yan Yan also told me that her classmates and her good friends are always inseparable, and she also has her own good friends.
I'm really happy that Yan Yan said that.
As some people say, children should communicate, accumulate and integrate themselves, so as to truly establish their own interpersonal relationships.
Children's interpersonal communication is a step-by-step process. Many people think that children can naturally learn how to communicate with others as long as they live in a collective environment such as kindergartens and schools, but the fact is really not that simple. In fact, the development of children's interpersonal relationship is a gradual process. Without a solid foundation in the early stage, it is difficult to develop well in the later stage.
The development of children's interpersonal communication can be divided into three stages.
The first stage is the period of 3-4 years old. At this time, children often establish relationships with each other by sharing food and toys. This stage is also the development period of children's awareness of property rights. They attach great importance to their property and don't want to be violated by others.
They will instinctively reject children who take their own things at will. On the contrary, two children often get along well.
Therefore, teaching children to respect each other will make a good start for their interpersonal communication.
As parents, at this stage, they can also prepare some food and toys for their children according to their communication characteristics, guide them to share with them, and let them experience the fun of playing together, but they must respect their wishes.
The second stage is the period of 4-5 years old. At this time, the child will find that even without food and toys, some friends will maintain a good relationship, and he and these friends often have something in common, such as common hobbies or mutual likes.
They will gradually understand that true friends are based on the same interests, mutual care, mutual respect and understanding.
But at this time, they can't control this relationship well, and there will often be a relationship between control and controlled, and disputes will arise between them, which will lead to the end of the game. At this time, if adults can return their freedom to their children and not participate in their disputes, they will gradually start to establish rules and enter a more harmonious communication state.
The third stage is when you are 5-6 years old. At this time, children will be more willing to play in the rules, which is the spontaneous behavior of children. At this point, the child successfully passed the sensitive period of interpersonal communication, ended one-on-one communication, entered the communication of three or four people, and had an obvious spiritual tendency in choosing friends. The smooth passage of this stage will lay an important foundation for children's future interpersonal communication.
3 children are willing to be "intimate" to have a luckier childhood. Although we live in various relationships, relationships do not happen naturally, but are formed in the process of contacting someone. The initial contact between children and people begins with the family, which is the initial socialization environment of children, and parents are the earliest intimate contacts of children. Attachment theory holds that the experience of early parent-child relationship forms people's "internal working mode", which is an expectation of others and determines people's way of doing things. In other words, the early parent-child relationship will have a far-reaching impact on children's future interpersonal relationships.
A study at Ryle State University in Montek also found that children who are closely related to their parents find it difficult to establish positive interpersonal relationships in adulthood. I have a friend who was raised in grandma's house. She was not taken home by her parents until she went to school. Her parents also care about her, but they are never close.
Once, she was shocked to see her brother holding her mother from behind. She said she would never do it in her life.
She has few friends. It's not that she doesn't know how to communicate with people. On the contrary, as long as she wants, she can get to know people quickly, but afterwards, she will feel it is a burden.
Her views on interpersonal relationships are also very negative. She thinks it is difficult to have real friendship between people, so she refuses to make friends.
She said that sometimes she envies seeing others have many friends, but she still prefers to stay in her own world and look on coldly.
Adler said: "Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives." Parent-child relationship is the earliest experience in a person's life, and it is also the most important part of interpersonal relationship. A good parent-child relationship will build a good foundation for children's future interpersonal relationships, and will also give children the warmest background in life.
Perhaps, as parents, the parent-child relationship between us and our parents is not so good, but we can and should try our best to give our children a good start.
Tolstoy said: Mom! You have the power to save the world. May each of us become a better parent.