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In the second-child family, Dabao is the object of Bauer's imitation. How to manage Dabao well is a shortcut to education.
Text/Lan talks about parenting

In the last article, we talked about "Mom, don't you like me"? Second-child family: take care of the boss and naturally follow the second child. This topic also perfectly explains the unique education methods of the one-child family and the second-child family, and also understands that the education of the second-child family needs to take care of the boss, because the boss is the imitation object of the second child, and it is natural for us to take care of the second child.

(If you don't know, please poke the link? Mom, don't you like me? Second-child family: take care of the boss, and the second child will naturally follow)

Dabao, who doesn't have a second child, is the only pet in the family. They imitate the family members who get along with each other every day. After having a second child, although the family is happy and often flies like a dog, we have to admit that Bauer's growth imitation is to play soy sauce behind Dabao.

Dabao is also the best imitation object of Bauer's growth, so having a boss who sets an example is an educational shortcut for the growth of the second child. However, taking care of a boss who sets an example also needs to be impartial, and it is not possible to blindly favor the boss and disturb the balance system of family getting along.

So, how can a boss who sets an example get the care of his parents correctly?

1, pay more attention to care.

With Bauer, Dabao's mind is in urgent need of care, and his mind becomes extremely sensitive. If mom and dad care more about Dabao's care, we can effectively avoid the negative thoughts of "mom and dad don't love me" and "my brother and sister took their love away". Although Bauer is here and his family is busier and more lively, he still suggests caring for and nourishing Dabao's mind. The happiness Bauer needed when he was young was eating, wearing warm clothes and being taken care of.

Dabao is different. Besides being well fed, well dressed and cared for, they also need to listen and understand. Without listening and understanding, Dabao is biased or values his younger brothers and sisters. For example, yesterday's article mentioned that Dabao and Bauer both like the inside of the bed, and they sleep in it because they are afraid of the dark. The difference is that Bauer's fear of darkness is completely infected by Dabao.

If we don't listen to why Dabao is afraid of the dark and add a caring aura to their fear of the dark, then this fear of the dark will affect their adult life. The most important thing is that this fear of the dark will indirectly affect Bauer's childhood, so that Dabao's fear of the dark will be solved, and Bauer's fear of the dark will naturally raise a bright flag in the dark.

2. drop your studies.

I hope my children don't lose at the starting line. This is probably the wish of most parents. After all, who doesn't want their children to study hard and live a fine life in the future? In a second-child family, what parents have to do is to let go of Dabao's study. If parents are eager for Dabao's success, and Bauer can do whatever he wants because he is young, Dabao will have great psychological obstacles and even be seriously tired of learning.

It should be noted that giving up learning here is not giving up, but arousing children's interest in learning in a different way. For example, when Dabao is painting, we can give Bauer a pen and then draw an acre to let it fall. When two children sit together to study, we will find that the age gap between them is no longer a bright spot, but the biggest bright spot is the common learning mentality.

3. Be more "active" in habits.

Dabao is Bauer's imitation model, so Dabao's care is naturally delicate. If Dabao is a lazy and enterprising big brother and sister, then Bauer's growth is naturally darker than others. If he wants Bauer's growth to be deeply influenced by Zhu Zhechi, he needs to "move his mind" from Dabao's habits, such as the habit of going to bed early and getting up early, the independent habit of brushing his teeth and washing his face every day, and the self-discipline habit of writing and reading on time.

In fact, Dabao is like Bauer's leader. It is much easier to discipline Ronaldinho after taming the captain. Bauer of Malan's family is a little girl with strong opinions, and she works behind her sister's ass every day. At first, when she eats, rice grains will fly all over the table. Parents had better not destroy this independent growth in front of the scene showing smoke, because no one can do everything at first, and only after experiencing a scene showing smoke will she finally find the pure land.

4. Be more "ruthless" in self-discipline.

In addition to the habit of "moving snacks", parents also need to be "ruthless" in Dabao's self-discipline. Self-discipline is like a compass in learning, which can guide children not to get lost in the fog at any time. In Dabao's self-discipline care, it is usually necessary to be "cruel", especially for playful children. It is often unrealistic to expect them to be self-disciplined. Behind a self-disciplined child, there is often a "cruel" father and mother, but the "cruel" here is not to beat and scold and supervise all day, but when the child wants to give up something, parents should not indulge themselves to break the rules because of some tears or pouting.

Take the morning run as an example. Maybe it doesn't matter if parents sleep for half an hour. Even many parents can't bear to wake up their children too early in the morning run, but they don't know that such "care" will only make their children develop lazy habits. And morning running is the best way to exercise self-discipline. Perseverance in the face of children's difficulties and pains is ultimately not only a healthy immunity guarantee, but also a positive attitude of doing things without fear of difficulties. The "hard-hearted" here requires parents to set an example and sacrifice their own time. Only when children practice self-discipline can they be self-disciplined.

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