The benefits of mother's education to children
Mothers are better at communicating with their children.
Compared with the father's hands-on education, the mother's gentle language is easier for children to remember deeply. When a child does a good deed, a mother's praise like Chunfeng will make the child jump with joy; When the child makes a mistake, the gentle and skillful criticism of the mother will also make the child more acceptable. In family education, fathers rely on deeds and mothers rely on words, which makes the educational cooperation between husband and wife more efficient, and children will get more help and guidance in the process of growing up. Therefore, mothers should pay more attention to the use of their own educational language, whether from the perspective of cooperating with their fathers' education or from the perspective of children's acceptance.
In family education, why do we say? Dad did it, and mom said? It is because, compared with men, women with softer feelings and more meticulous thinking have an absolute advantage in emotional expression among family members, communication between husband and wife and communication between parents and children. This advantage gives mom the best educational opportunity and the best strategy.
Specifically, mother's language advantage is manifested in many aspects. For example, when expressing love, men prefer to express it with certain actions or behaviors, while women are better at using language. In family education, it is undoubtedly very important to convey the message of love to children by language.
For another example, in the face of the same irritating things, women are often more calm than men, and can express their feelings in euphemistic language and exert influence on each other. In contrast, men are more likely to resort to violence. Compared with the two, when this happens in family education activities, which is more conducive to guiding children to correct their mistakes? The answer is obvious. Of course, it has also been proved that women's good use of language does not significantly help children's language ability. But the problem is that the growth of children is not only the growth of language, but also the growth of mind, character and psychology. In these respects, gentle and comprehensive words are obviously more acceptable to children, and mother's language just conforms to this feature.
Mothers' experience in educating their children
First, the cultivation of children's autonomous learning ability
Someone said? Laziness promotes scientific and technological development? That makes sense. I invented the washing machine because I was too lazy to wash clothes, the rice cooker because I was too lazy to cook, and all kinds of advanced means of transportation because I was too lazy to walk? I am the same, because I am too lazy to study with my children, so I try my best to teach them to learn to learn by themselves, so as to cultivate their autonomous learning ability. His study is entirely his own.
Since junior high school, I have only done two things for him. One is the corrected homework, and the other is to check the reading of English words. Because I can learn English well, I can give him some guidance. He once asked me to dictate or ask questions to him, but I refused. I said I was busy and had no time. He asked me what to do. I told him that there are many ways, such as blocking dictation with books, or recording words or questions with a repeater, and then dictating or answering. He suddenly realized that he would do such a thing himself from now on.
So, how can I teach my children to learn independently? This is when he was in the fifth grade of primary school. From the first grade to the fourth grade of primary school, because of his busy work, my child has been living in his grandparents' house, and I seldom take care of his study. My children get more than 20 grades in the class. In the fifth grade of primary school, I thought it was too late to stay away from him, so I took him home and began to discipline his study. His father and I stayed with him for a whole year. I am in charge of the counseling of liberal arts, and his father is in charge of the counseling of science. Since then, his academic performance has also risen to the top three in his class until he graduated from junior high school.
However, the way we learn with our children is different from that of many parents. Many parents study with their children without telling them. Parents become guardians and mentors of their children. As a result, children become more and more dependent on their parents. Without parents, their children cannot go to school. If parents don't tell them, parents will become crutches for their children. Their children can't learn to walk by themselves, and they will become disabled without crutches. Once one day they lose their crutches, the result of their children will be
We study with our children, not with them, but by teaching them how to study. For example, when learning Chinese, you should read the text aloud, recite the good paragraphs aloud, keep the dictionary by your side, read more and accumulate more; When learning English, you should read the text aloud, recite it more, and use various sensory organs such as eyes, ears, mouth, hands and brain to achieve the best learning effect. To learn science, you should do the questions and set up the wrong book. Doing one more question is better than sea tactics. Go home to review first, and then do your homework; There are also how to learn, preview, review and so on. After teaching him these learning methods, we basically don't have to worry about entering the sixth grade.
Therefore, studying with children today is to avoid studying with children tomorrow and let them learn to study independently.
Second, the guidance of children's learning methods
First of all, tell children the importance of listening carefully in class.
From the day my children go to school, I have always stressed the importance of listening in class. A student's academic performance is directly proportional to his classroom listening. Once a student who is not attentive in class changes under the guidance of his parents and teachers, his average score in all subjects can easily increase by ten points.
Second, tell children to speak actively in class.
Positive speech can encourage students to use their brains actively, improve their attention and improve the excitement of learning. Especially for subjects and problems that you can't do, you should try your best to speak. It doesn't matter if the answer is wrong, just think positively and deepen your impression, so as to enter a virtuous circle.
Third, tell children to make full use of the precious resource of teachers.
I find that many students are afraid to ask questions to their teachers. My children used to be like this. When asked why, he said he was afraid of the teacher's criticism. It's right to think about it. When some students ask their teachers questions, some teachers will say? You can't do such a simple question? , or? I just finished. What did you listen to? , or? I have my hands full right now. Why don't you come back when I have time? Wait a minute. Students can't stand these words and dare not ask any more questions.
I told my children that it is human nature for teachers to have these behaviors. If you are a teacher, you will also have these reactions. You should understand the teacher. You don't have to care too much about the teacher's attitude. You only need to understand your problem, and you will achieve your goal. I also told my children that 100% teachers like curious students. Ask questions frequently, and teachers will definitely like you, support you and pay more attention to you.
As parents, we should also make good use of the valuable resources of teachers. If your child doesn't do well in any science, or has difficulty in learning, you'd better go to school to find a teacher in this subject, and let him diagnose your child like a doctor, why your child doesn't do well in this science, and what methods you should take. This is much more effective than going to the society to find a tutor and a cram school.
Parents should also tell their children to communicate with teachers in various subjects frequently. For example, after the exam, the child can find the teacher of this subject with the test paper, and let him analyze what problems his test paper has, how to change it in the future and in what direction, which is of great help to the child's progress.
Fourth, choose some exercises for children to do and find some good learning methods for children.
I selected some exercises for my children to do online, which got twice the result with half the effort. For example, Shoushan Topic Network has many such exercises. .
Fifth, children are required to absorb rich extracurricular knowledge.
I attach great importance to letting children learn all kinds of extracurricular knowledge extensively. Because just mastering the knowledge in class can't meet the social demand for talents, students must master more extracurricular knowledge and have higher information acquisition ability. Nowadays, exams tend to examine students' various abilities and knowledge richness. Gone are the days when you can get high marks by learning books well. So I told my children to read more extracurricular books and watch more good programs on TV, such as? Full documentary? 、? Technology channel? 、? Cultural China? Wait a minute.
Third, protect children's interest in learning.
First, it is not because of learning to beat and scold children.
In addition, everyone has self-esteem, so what kind of people have strong self-esteem? Someone who is respected by others. He thought, my parents respect me so much that I must be well, so as to maintain the respect of others. Such children will get better and better. If his parents always scold him and beat him, he will think, if my parents don't respect me, I don't need to get better, and I will break the jar, so the child will gradually lose self-esteem and self-confidence Therefore, parents should not beat and scold their children, so as to protect their interest in learning.
Second, don't add too much extra-curricular burden to children.
I found that many children began to make up lessons from kindergarten, and their extracurricular time was almost occupied. In his early years, he was exhausted by various studies. Not only did he consume enough energy, but even his thirst for knowledge faded. How can such a child love learning? How can we cultivate the initiative of learning? How can I have enough energy to study?
So I think parents should not make up lessons for their children casually. They should let their children solve problems at school and ask teachers for help if they have any problems. Make-up lessons are necessary or interesting for children to learn what they can't learn in class. This will not affect children's energy too much, but also protect and stimulate children's interest in learning and effectively broaden their knowledge. Why not?
Mother's advice on educating children
1. No matter how busy a mother is, she should also care about her children and be willing to communicate with them. Companionship is the best love. Children won't feel lonely with their mothers around. You might as well smile more when talking to your child, and don't always put on a serious face to upset your child.
2. Mom should set an example and improve her personality charm. Regardless of appearance, words and deeds, the mother is the child's first teacher. Children's good habits are often imitated by their mothers. If the mother emphasizes food hygiene, words and deeds, and neat appearance, then the child will unconsciously develop in a good direction. If the mother is unkempt, rude and busy with housework but doesn't tidy herself up every day, how can you ask the children to be clean and tidy and pay attention to manners? In addition, after children enter primary school, they will unconsciously compare their mothers with others' mothers. In their little hearts, they actually hope that their mother can make them proud. This is not the performance of children's love of comparison, but the emotional appeal of their growth stage.
In order to cultivate children's self-esteem, mothers should respect them. Generally speaking, children are closer to their mothers, but some mothers ignore their children because they are young, ignore their feelings and demands, or treat them as their own accessories or even punching bags. This often makes children feel frustrated.
4. Mothers should learn proper critical skills and praise skills. We all know that going too far is not enough. Children always praise what they do right and criticize what they do wrong, which often has no ideal educational effect. The correct way is to say more when praising? We still have room for further progress, and we must continue to work hard! ? Do you want to say one more word when criticizing? Mom believes that you can change, because mom loves you. ? Children can explore the direction of self-growth in the positive evaluation of their mothers.
5. Mom should also keep learning. A mother's attitude can often influence her children. In the face of new things, you will not refuse, but you will have freshness and curiosity. Then this practice will also drive children to correct their learning attitude and be willing to learn new knowledge.
6. Mothers should give their children's educational rights to their fathers in due course, and don't let busy fathers forget to express their love for their children. Many times, fathers are careless people. They may be busy with their careers, addicted to games, or naturally resistant to children? Their love for children is often hidden, so why? Silent fatherly love? Say it. However, children will not understand this fatherly love until they are adults. Some children even speak frankly? Dad is a stranger living at home? It really makes the family laugh and cry. In the final analysis, the responsibility of educating children should be shared by father and mother. Mothers should create opportunities for their children to get close to their fathers, and let their fathers give play to their parents' advantages different from their mothers' and teach their children to be brave and strong.
7. Mothers should pay attention to everything except children's study, and pay attention to cultivating children's good living habits. Many times, the key to the height of a child's life is not the level of scores, but the health and soundness of personality and mind. Mothers should focus on cultivating children to be polite and principled people and people with good behavior habits.
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