First, don't overemphasize the matter of wetting your pants.
If an outsider is present when the child wets his pants, the child certainly doesn't want to be known. Parents had better take their children to the bathroom naturally and don't ask questions.
Then you can say to the child, "I feel your pants are wet." Such a simple statement will make children feel that their parents have neither deliberately cared nor blamed too much.
After that, we need to identify with the children's emotions at this time and help them say, "I know you didn't mean to, and you must be uncomfortable now …" This will make the children feel relaxed.
Some parents may say "it doesn't matter, everyone peed their pants when they were young", but for those children who take this matter very seriously, "it doesn't matter" may not make them feel that their emotions have been fully recognized.
Finally, we just need to change the children into clean pants and tell them that they can tell their mother the next time they wet their pants, and her mother will help him-when their emotions are recognized, they will be willing to listen to your opinion.
At the same time, we also need to do it, don't make fun of children wetting their pants.
Second, teach children to express their needs.
Perhaps many parents have seriously told their children: when they want to pee in kindergarten, they should tell the teacher in advance; You must tell the teacher that you wet your pants and ask the teacher to change your pants.
But some children still pee their pants in kindergarten. For them, when parents explain to him how to do something very seriously, children will feel "Oh, this seems very serious", which will increase their psychological burden, but they will be more afraid to express their needs.
So parents can change the way, for example, use picture books to tell their children what to do when they encounter similar things. Blogger Lao Meng once shared the story of himself and his daughter:
Daughter dare not take the initiative to tell the teacher, anxious to safeguard the child's self-esteem. Whether it is innuendo or positive guidance, the matter of my daughter wetting her pants has never improved. Until one day, my daughter and I read a book called "Cleveland Sky", and the old Meng Lingguang flashed and found a new angle.
"Baby, where do you think Kelly's good mood and huge paintings come from?"
"Fly to the sky."
"Has he done it before?"
"No, the first time, an accident."
"Do you think his attempt is brave?"
"Yes, very brave."
"Yes, it is brave to try new things. But it is also brave to admit your weaknesses. I want to talk to you about wetting your pants again. Would you know if I ate your candy without telling you? "
"Yes, there will be less sugar."
"Yes, so what happened can't be concealed, and it doesn't mean that if you don't admit it, you can regard it as never happened. On the contrary, if you dare to admit it, it will not only be a glorious thing, but also make yourself more calm. "
"Even if you wet your pants?" The daughter's initiative made Lao Meng see hope.
"Yes, even wet pants. It is glorious to have the courage to admit your shortcomings at any time. "
The next day, Lao Meng witnessed the surprise. When she went to pick up her daughter after school, she proudly said to Lao Meng, "Mom, I peed my pants again today, but I told the teacher."
A way like Lao Meng can not only achieve our goal of helping children solve problems, but also protect their self-esteem.
03
Kindergarten teachers say that those children who can adapt to kindergarten quickly have good self-care ability and strong self-expression ability.
There are dozens of children in a kindergarten class, so it is difficult for teachers to find and deal with everything in time. In this case, children who can express their feelings and demands in time can generally get help from teachers quickly. This is what we often say: crying children have milk to drink.
The following five sentences are what we especially need to encourage our children to say.
"Teacher, I have to pee/poop."
When I was at home, the child came running. Maybe we just need to look at the child's expression to know that he is going to pee/poop at the moment. At this time, we can't send the child to the bathroom and let him pee/poop. We should tell the child "you said I had to pee/poop" and let him learn to express it.
How can we make children have this habit of expression? We can encourage children to express all the needs in life, provided that parents speak to their children in simple, easy-to-understand and correct language.
For example, if a child wants to drink water, parents should not just hand him a kettle/cup and let him drink water. When we pour water, we should tell our children, "Baby, you said I wanted to drink water"; For example, a child is hungry outside, and he is not happy until his mother gives him food. At this time, his mother will also say to the child, "Baby, you said I was hungry." In this way, slowly let children learn to express their needs.
As parents, we should not only help our children to meet the needs of drinking water and going to the toilet, but more importantly, we should teach them to express themselves in the right language.
"Teacher, I accidentally wet my pants. Please help me change my pants. "
As we said before, if you find a child wetting his pants, you should take into account his self-esteem and don't blame him too much, lest the child think that wetting his pants is a bad behavior. We can use picture books to encourage children to express bravely.
But for some shy children, if the mother asks the child if he has peed his pants and wants to change into a clean pair of pants, he may just nod his head. Then for this kind of child, when he expresses his needs and wishes by nodding, shaking his head or using gestures, parents should encourage the child to express it in words.
For example, say to your child, "Baby, do you want to change your pants? Can you tell your mother? " When the child says "Mom, I want to change my pants", it is necessary to give timely praise at this time, such as "The baby speaks very well. If you want to do something in the future, just tell your mother. You will understand as soon as you say it. "
A person who is praised and encouraged will have double confidence in what he has done. We adults are still like this, let alone children. But any praised child will be very willing to do it again and again, because he will get a happy and successful experience from it.
"Teacher, I'm not feeling well/I'm sick."
Under normal circumstances, if the child is slightly ill, the parents will tell the teacher when sending the child to kindergarten. So that teachers can take care of children more. But what if the child only has symptoms of physical discomfort in kindergarten? For example, some acute diseases, if the teacher does not find them in time, may delay the illness.
Therefore, you should also tell your child that if you feel unwell, such as headache, dizziness, stomachache, and inability to eat, you must tell the teacher in time so that the teacher can take better care of you, or take your child to the infirmary for examination, or contact your parents in time.
In order to let children express themselves well, at home, we can let children learn to express themselves through games.
In fact, we usually find that children have some spontaneous game behaviors, and they will imitate some behaviors of adults in the game to express their wishes and feelings.
For example, the child will choose a favorite character to communicate with the doll, and sometimes it is the mother: "Baby, mom is breastfeeding you now." ; Sometimes it is the doctor: "Baby, you are sick now, I want to see you."