Basic methods of family education. Pay attention to the role of parents as role models, develop good behavior habits and grow up with children.
Tolstoy said: in a family, only the father can educate himself, and the child's self-education can be produced there. Without the pioneer role model of the father, all the talk about children's self-education will become empty talk. ? Only by honoring the elderly can children honor you; When you are laid off and choose a job, you are full of confidence and let your children face setbacks and keep pursuing. The role of example is endless, and the personality strength of parents is the most important educational factor.
Second, strive to create? Study family? Let children enjoy learning.
Now, the whole society advocates it? Create a learning family? , the so-called? Study family? It means that there is a strong learning atmosphere in the family, making learning an important activity in family life; There are rich learning materials at home, which are constantly enriched and updated; Have a fixed study place, etc. Want to create? Study family? , there must be? Three key points? It is urgent to create a quiet learning environment for children; Creating a strong learning atmosphere is preferred; Increasing investment in education is a top priority.
Third, respect and trust children and promote their positive development.
In the face of parent-child tragedies again and again, after reading depression and inferiority from children's faces countless times, we gradually understand that to love children, we must respect and trust them. Respect and trust are the first principles of modern education. It means caring for children's pure hearts, supporting children's decisions, and giving up power and superiority; It also means a noble character of self-restraint and tolerance. The child's inner world is very rich. To understand children, we can only change our hearts and win trust with trust. It is necessary to protect children's self-esteem, cultivate self-confidence and promote their active development.
Fourth, pay attention to the consistency of family education and guide children to develop harmoniously.
Every family does not exist independently. It is universal and social. As parents, the family is a group with many blood relations. To reach an agreement on children's education, it is necessary to communicate more, communicate more and support more. Never make a fuss about children's education in front of them and expose our differences to them. In fact, it doesn't matter if there are differences. The key is to face it correctly and reach an agreement to create a good family environment for the healthy growth of children.
Fifth, emphasize the cultivation of non-intellectual factors to stimulate children's potential.
A person's grades or achievements mainly depend on two factors: one is the strength of intelligence and learning ability, which is what we call intelligence; Second, whether we have correct motives, strong interests, full emotions, strong perseverance and good personality in practice, which is what we call non-intellectual factors. Parents attach great importance to their children's intellectual development, but it is easy to ignore their non-intellectual factors, especially the cultivation of interest and self-confidence.
6. Persuasion education is one of the most basic methods of family education, and it is also the most used method by parents.
1, explain. The characteristic of this method is that parents talk and children listen. In the process of speaking and listening, parents are active and children are passive. Its advantage is that it can give full play to the leading role of parents, facilitate parents to control the educational process, inspire children to think, enable children to acquire a lot of systematic knowledge in a short time, and improve their ability to distinguish right from wrong. The time of explanation and the length of sentences should conform to the age characteristics of children. Language can be concrete, accurate, vivid, easy to understand, emotional, inspiring, attractive and convincing.
Step 2 talk. Conversation is a way for parents and children to exchange views on a certain problem, so that children can understand a certain truth and solve a certain problem. Its advantages are not only parents' dialogue, but also communication with children. Children can ask questions in the dialogue, which can effectively play the main role of children and stimulate their enthusiasm and initiative in thinking, evaluating and solving moral problems. The topic of the conversation should be clear, the content should be specific and the difficulty should be moderate. Avoid being simple and rude.
3. discussion. Discussion is a way for parents and children to discuss a problem together, and after discussion or even debate, they can draw a correct conclusion, so that children can distinguish right from wrong and raise their awareness. This way fully reflects parents' trust and respect for their children. The advantage of discussion method is that it can give full play to children's main role. Through mutual discussion, research and demonstration, children can clearly distinguish right from wrong, deepen their understanding, raise their awareness and leave a deep impression. Discussion is a democratic method, which can cultivate children's democratic spirit and deepen the close relationship between children and their parents.
4. A silent role model. The highest state of education is the shocking education of the mind. Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes parents' silent role models play a greater role in educating their children.
Family education, ten misunderstandings of parents: 1. Correct children's playfulness in time. I think naughty children are smart and easy to become talents. It is difficult to become a talent in practice. Naughty children are often inattentive, have poor organizational skills, lack self-esteem and self-motivation, and are not easy to persuade education, which is completely different from those children who are eager to learn, curious and have brains.
Letting children learn and take the initiative does not mean making children naughty and disobedient. Don't think that being naughty is children's nature. When they grow up, they will be fine. Let them go with the flow and protect their weaknesses.
Money can't replace education. Replacing education with money and educating children with economic incentives can only make children gradually develop the bad habit of being greedy for money, loving leisure and working hard for nothing, and lose the most precious spiritual qualities such as self-reliance and self-improvement. Parents give money to their children at will, and there is no limit, giving one hundred.
Obedience, on the surface, seems to love children, but in fact it hurts children and injects them into their young hearts? Money can do everything, only money can do what you want? Bad habits.
3.？ Bribing children is more harmful. It is harmful to use money and material to stimulate and lure children to do what they should do. Take out the garbage, do housework, study hard and so on. It should be what children usually do. Let children engage in these jobs, cultivate good living habits and study habits, and know that these are sacred tasks that they must complete perfectly. But taking money as bait not only deepens children's greed for money and money, but also weakens children's learning motivation, deviates from children's normal personality and has a great impact on children's life.
4. Treat exaggerated praise correctly. Parents like to listen to others' praise for their children best, and don't want to listen to criticism. Children, too, greatly show what others have praised or repeat what others have praised. But improper exaggeration and praise will lead to the opposite effect. Compliments are mostly out of politeness and communication needs, so a large part of them are false diplomatic rhetoric. Don't just enter the vanity circle of narcissism, self-comfort and self-appreciation, which is extremely unfavorable for children's growth and development. Because of this, parents and children think that this is very good, and relaxing the struggle will hinder the correction of mistakes and delay the growth of children.
It is harmful to dress up as a child. Everyone has a love of beauty, and makeup is beyond reproach. As a young child, it is really inappropriate to go to kindergarten or school to wear heavy makeup, even without superb light makeup. First, any high-grade cosmetics and makeup technology are harmful to the immature skin and body of children and adolescents; Second, everything about children is innocent and beautiful in essence, and makeup is a kind of pollution to innocent hearts.
Not dressing up is by no means not paying attention to children's clothes, nor is it letting children wear rags and dirty clothes. Children's clothes should be neat, generous, concise, elegant, beautiful and comfortable, strive for convenience and simplicity, do not pursue fashion, and are not interested in pursuing winning numbers.
6. Don't make promises to children easily. Everything in the child's heart is serious, and the promise to the child is carefully remembered. It is harmful for the child to wait for the promise to be fulfilled for whatever reason. Over time, children will lose trust in their parents, be careless, dishonest, disobedient and learn to lie. ? A promise is a promise? This is really an experience. Children's young hearts need the enrichment of truth, goodness and beauty, and can't stand the slightest falsehood and deception. Whether a promise is fulfilled or not is likely to affect the formation of children's ideological and moral character throughout their lives. Don't make promises easily. Once you make a promise, you must keep it.
7. don't? Intellectual education? Lose? Moral education? . There is a very wrong idea now, and many schools and parents will? Intellectual education first, score theory promoted to ideal university? This is the only educational purpose. So all the activities carried out by the school revolve around this core; When parents are relatively rich, they have already designed what kind of university their children will go to in the future when they are still fetuses, that is, they don't consider what kind of outlook on life and morality to cultivate their children. When children learn to be obedient, what they hear most is to study hard and get the first place in the exam, so that they can go to a good university in the future. The evaluation of children is almost always based on the level of scores. As a result, children's psychological distortion and development are bound, and the advantages and disadvantages of themselves and the country can be imagined.
8. Don't let children do it? Little sheep? . Parents go too far? Modest gentleman? Be strict with children? Provocative? No matter whether others are right or not, they are not allowed to argue with others for justice. Children always suffer? Modesty, avoiding disaster and seeking perfection? If the philosophy of the weak oppresses and controls it, it will undoubtedly become a little sheep without the courage to struggle and the ability to bear setbacks. Strengthening the education of children's perseverance, determination and fortitude, resistance, adaptation and frustration is one of the educational problems that developed countries attach great importance to today. We should follow the example of educating our children to be brave soldiers and never become weak? Little sheep? .
9. Adopt a son and do nothing? Little bully? . Weak little sheep can't do it, and neither can arrogant little bullies. Parents are afraid that their children will be bullied, and blindly encourage their children to fight and swear, be competitive and bully. Would you like to? People failed me? , no? I failed others? . In this way, children will become bullies who beat the streets and scold the school, and no one can control them. Bullies are often the beginning of bullies, and bullies often take risks, and then only use criminal law. It is necessary to strengthen etiquette education for children, learn to respect others, and at the same time learn to strive for self. To set up? Be brave? A friendly and compassionate boy.
10. Trees are not necessarily natural and tall. Is it a lot today? Little emperor? Has developed into a stubborn teenager who dominates the country, beats and scolds his parents at will, disobeys discipline and breaks the law, and is mostly owned by his parents? The essence of a tree is straight? This idea is caused by blindly doting on and accommodating children and letting them do whatever they want. Almost all surveys show that parents always think that it is better for their children to grow up and relax their childhood education; Sometimes I feel that I should be disciplined, but I can't bear to be harsh; Some parents are cowardly, afraid to discipline, and even send their children to grandparents to raise them, which makes this kind of doting grow and develop, and makes the abnormal behavior of children get deeper and deeper, reaching today's hopeless. ? Etiquette education? Start small.
Case study: let children become their own teachers
[Question classification] This case belongs to the cultivation of children's hobbies and good study habits.
[Background] This happened last autumn, and the child just entered the second grade of junior high school. I always like watching TV when I come home from school every day and ask him how his homework is doing. He always said that he finished studying at school, not at home, so his academic performance was average.
[Process replay] My child is very clever, but what bothers me most is that he doesn't like reading. I have been thinking: how to cultivate children's interest and habit of reading? I didn't find a good way either!
As usual, after school in the evening, the children go home smiling. When the family was having dinner, an idea suddenly occurred to me-why not let my children be my teachers? Try this method and see if it works.
After dinner and housework, I sat down to let my son be my teacher and cultivate his interest and habit of reading. I said:? Son, because my mother didn't read much English at that time and didn't understand English. Would you like to teach my mother and be her teacher?
The son said:? No, I don't know much! ?
? Yes, son. At school, whatever the teacher teaches you, you can teach your mother when you get home, and her mother promises to learn. Son, teacher, don't trust mom.
? Then I will teach you to learn words. ?
? Son, you should also teach everyday language. Otherwise, your mother learns words and can't learn dialogue. How can you make her speak English? You can't talk to others and let mom spell word by word! Then people will say that the son is incompetent and can't teach his mother! I don't think so.
? Ok, I'll teach you everything, a little every day. ?
I am happy to say:? What a good son! My mother will make me a good student and won't let the teacher down. ?
In this way, I read English with my son for half an hour every day. Although I study hard, I can learn every text by heart when I see my son teaching so seriously, and the joy of success melts in my heart!
After a semester's study, the children finally got into the good habit of reading as soon as they got home, and got excellent results in every subject.
[Solution] The cultivation of study habits is more important than academic performance. Without good study habits, academic performance is unstable and unsustainable. In fact, it is very simple to form the habit of learning. There are four main points: listen carefully in class, finish homework independently, preview carefully and review carefully. Among them, the cultivation of reading habits is very important. A large number of studies show that reading ability is the foundation and core of people's learning ability. If you can't read, you won't learn. It is particularly important to cultivate reading ability in primary and secondary schools. The parents in this case attach importance to the cultivation of children's reading habits, and boldly try to let their children be their own teachers, so that children have great curiosity and strong internal drive, and gradually develop good reading habits. This method and strategy are in line with children's psychology and worth learning. However, the use of this method can not be based on a whim, but must persist for a period of time to be effective. Habits are related to education. Research shows that more than 70% movements are habitual movements. American research found that it takes 2 1 day to form a habit. It takes time to form the habit of action, not to mention the habit of study.