Phenomenon a
My daughter just doesn't want to shit in kindergarten. She has been holding it, and it is normal to go home. Sometimes, for some reason, she can't hold back and pull her pants. If I'm with her, she can go to the bathroom, too. But children just don't want to shit in kindergarten, which is really a headache.
Phenomenon b
So is my son. He would rather defecate in the public toilet outside than in the kindergarten, or he will endure defecation at home. Strangely, it is normal for children to go to the toilet at home on weekends, and they will not hold back.
American psychologist F.Heider put forward the attribution theory in 1958, and he pointed out that the causes of human behavior can be divided into internal causes and external causes. Internal factors refer to the actors' own factors, such as needs, emotions, interests, attitudes, beliefs, efforts, etc. External factors refer to the factors in the surrounding environment of the actor, such as expectation, reward, punishment, instructions and orders from others, weather, difficulty of work and so on.
According to Hyde's attribution theory, we can try to find out why children don't want to go to the toilet in kindergarten:
Differences between family environment and kindergarten environment due to external reasons. Before a child is born and enters kindergarten, the family environment is the place he is most familiar with, which can bring him a sense of security. For him, the family and everything around him are so natural, which brings him a certain sense of order. Montessori once pointed out that order is the first need of children's life. When it is satisfied, it will produce happiness. On the contrary, if the order changes, it may be unpleasant.
Expectation attitude of important people The so-called important people refer to teachers, parents, peers and other individuals or groups that have an important influence on children's physical and mental development. They are the most important part of children's growth environment, the most dynamic factor to promote children's development, and are of key significance to individual survival and development. In kindergarten, teachers become important figures in children's growing environment and are role models for children to learn.
In the daily life of kindergartens, teachers' educational ideas, educational behaviors and educational methods are conveyed to children in some way, thus forming teachers' expectations for children.
Because of individual differences, different children perceive and process teachers' expectations, thus forming children's self-expectations. If the teacher thinks that a child has performed well and is often praised, the child may form such self-expectation: I must follow the teacher's instructions and not fall behind. If I defecate for a long time, I may fall behind. Doesn't the teacher like himself? So some children would rather hold their breath than defecate in kindergarten.
The internal reason is that the child's personality is also the reason why he doesn't want to go to the toilet in kindergarten. From the tendency of psychological activities, personality can be divided into introversion and extroversion. There is no good or bad personality, just look at the dimension. Introverted children are always cautious when they speak, they will express it after careful consideration, and they also pay more attention to each other's feedback. Moreover, introverted children pay more attention to each other's views on themselves, especially those of important others. As an important person of children, teachers hope that children's behavior will be affirmed by teachers, especially for introverted children, and pay more attention to teachers' views on themselves. Therefore, children who are unwilling to defecate in kindergartens are mostly introverted children.
A clear understanding of the reasons why children "don't want to go to the toilet in kindergarten" can help parents and teachers solve problems and help children spend every day easily.
Here are two tips for everyone:
Tips 1: Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude
Before children enter the kindergarten, it is the basic requirement of teachers to communicate with parents about their development and help them adapt to kindergarten life. If children are introverted, teachers should pay special attention to their words, deeds and attitudes when communicating with introverted children in daily life. Teachers should not only pay attention to the gender differences of children, but also pay attention to the personality differences of children. Individual differences between children determine the length of time for children to "defecate" and the state of children at that time. Some children even go to the toilet humming songs for a long time, but the collective life of kindergartens will not disrupt the teaching plan to some extent because of individual children. As educators, teachers should pay more attention to these children and respect their individual differences.
Tip 2: Parents are also educators.
Children's attachment to their parents makes them feel safe with their parents. In a safe situation, children can show themselves freely and easily. Games are children's nature, and children in games can fully show themselves. Parent-child games can not only promote parent-child communication, but also enable parents to better understand their children's true self. For example, role-playing, children play teachers and parents play children. During the game, the child wants to go to the toilet to defecate. What is the teacher's reaction at this time? (that is, how does the child react in the game? In the game situation, the child is free, and his words and deeds can express his true thoughts. Parents seize the opportunity of education, communicate with teachers in time and jointly solve the problems faced by their children.
In short, children are the object of education, and educators (parents and teachers) should always pay attention to children and the changes in their daily lives-education is life, and life is education.