? The author of this book, Mona R Schur, is a child development psychologist and a professor of psychology at Jaranyi University. She designed a "I can solve problems" training program for parents and teachers, and is a media consultant for mental health and prevention of adolescent problems. Social skills are children's ability to solve problems, solve contradictions and get along with others. People are social animals, and it is difficult for children without social skills to succeed.
? Through dialogue, games and activities, Dr. Shure teaches children how to solve problems, how to deal with daily contradictions with friends, teachers and family, how to find various solutions and consider the consequences, and how to understand the feelings of others. So as to live in harmony with others and become a person with strong social skills and full of confidence.
? The educational method introduced in this book is to "teach children how to do it, not do it for them". Playing with children's words helps him to establish a variety of ways of thinking, observe the differences before and after satisfaction, realize the influence of his actions on others, and dare to solve problems by himself. Then learn to understand their feelings and discuss rather than judge each other. In the face of contradictions, find solutions and teach children to consider the consequences.
? There are three basic principles of dialogue to guide children's questions. First of all, we should find out the children's views on the problem, and at the same time try to restrain ourselves, and don't shift to cater to the needs of adults; Secondly, the subject of solving problems is children, so let children think by asking questions and avoid telling them what to do and what not to do directly; Finally, the focus is on the process of thinking, not the concrete results. It is important to prevent children from subconsciously choosing the idea of being praised in order to gain your appreciation, instead of further thinking about other ways.
? The ultimate goal of our teaching is to clarify problems, understand the feelings of ourselves and others, think about solving problems and estimate the consequences of solving them. There are many kinds of games and activities, which provide more good ideas for practicing "I can solve problems" and some methods to strengthen children's understanding of words and feelings in the process of solving problems. Including games that can be played before going to bed, doing homework and eating. "I can solve the problem" dialogue is a way for parents to talk with their children, but there is no need for "rote learning".
Find out children's views on problems, pay attention to the thinking process, and always remind yourself that it must be children, not adults, who solve problems. Help your child understand your feelings about the problem in the dialogue, and help your child understand that the ultimate goal is not always negotiable.