1, using scenario method
Give full play to the flexible advantages of family education, make full use of ready-made life scenes, educate children naturally and appropriately, feel the true colors of things, and parents (Weibo) vividly and kindly impart ideas and methods. The key is that parents should seize the opportunity of education.
Look at a little boy's composition:
At first, I squeezed in and found a seat. My father has stomach trouble, so I asked him to sit down. Who knows the bus didn't stop, but he stood up and gave it to a woman next to him. I don't understand why the old, the weak and the sick should give up their seats. I glanced at my dad discontentedly, and he pretended not to see it. After getting off the bus, my dad smiled and said, "Silly boy, you can see that she is pregnant." My dad said how hard it was for my mother to be pregnant with me. "It was your mother who conceived in October and brought you into this world."
Judging from this composition, this father is good at educating women and loving their mothers with life scenes.
2. Self-study and introspection
Buy or borrow a popular science book suitable for teenagers to read, so that children can read it by themselves and inspire children. It is unwise to block this knowledge, in fact, it can't be blocked. Parents are more worried about the unscientific knowledge that their children get from abnormal channels. Choosing a good book means hiring a good teacher. It's much more scientific for children to read and think by themselves than for us to chatter. Parents should pay attention to two points: first, the choice of books must be appropriate; The second is: no, it must be given to the child in person. It looks as if it was accidentally put on the table, and he will look at it without warning.
3. New infection methods
A good novel is a life textbook for students whose outlook on life is forming, and its emotional shock to children is incomparable to that of ordinary parents. Let the children calmly step into the social environment where the novel unfolds, follow the ups and downs of the master's life, taste joy and pain together, and feel beauty and ugliness, good and evil, truth and falsehood with a pure heart. Children will find their lifelong idols in books. Celebrity biographies not only have this educational effect on children, but also are more authentic. This suggestion is best implemented in winter and summer vacations.
4. Concept infiltration method
For example, watching TV, a girl rashly promised herself to someone, and our family all sighed and talked about it. We can also make up the following story under the assumption that girls politely decline. Another example is reading newspapers, and some cases published in columns such as "Golden Shield" and "Warning Line" can be used as topics for family conversations. In the discussion, we showed the moral concept, values, code of conduct and aesthetic consciousness of adults. This is obviously better than telling children to face life.
5. Anti-micro duration method
Children's interpersonal communication always has a process from quantitative change to qualitative change, from minor change to great change, from gradual change to sudden change. Parents should give priority to prevention, guide and educate early, and do a good job before their children fall into the quagmire of puppy love. So, what are the signs for children beforehand? Absenteeism, late at night: contact with off-campus personnel; Class look trance; High spirits, sudden ecstasy and madness: furtive, whispering: excessive pursuit of dressing up; Suddenly spending money lavishly: suddenly I don't like to talk, my eyes are in a daze: my academic performance has dropped significantly: my diet and daily life are abnormal, and I often look out ... When I find these changes, I must arouse my parents' vigilance. Don't be impatient when you find out. First of all, you should start with care and understanding, eliminate the child's vigilance, and get the child's active cooperation, so as to understand the real situation. Then discuss the countermeasures with the children.
6. Interest transfer method
Adolescent children are full of energy and have great activity energy. Parents should not think that they can tie their hearts by studying all day. Every weekend, arrange some fun activities for the whole family to make children look forward to the weekend. For example: spring outing, hiking, cooking competition, family small production exhibition during the Spring Festival, etc. Parents should encourage their children to learn photography, painting, playing the piano, collecting stamps, climbing mountains and swimming. The richness of family activities and the persistence of extracurricular hobbies can divert children's attention and excitement and find a place for their abundant energy.
7. Target fuzzy method
The object of junior high school students' worship is vague, often an idealized figure or an approximate figure in life. When parents pull back, they can pull back friendship; Push, you may push puppy love. It is effective to blur and group the objects we appreciate. For example, a mother found that her daughter always talked about a boy in her class when she came home, and she never bothered to talk about this boy with appreciation. The mother found her daughter's love without criticism, questioning or cynicism. Instead, she met other boys and girls with special skills in this class. Then when mother and daughter chatted, mother naturally talked about these students with special skills. It's not about their specialty, it's about belittling them. The daughter was very angry and said, "She is very nice. You slander her. " Mother said, "You have to observe widely." The daughter's observation targets were cleverly and fuzzily grouped by her mother.
8. Diary arrangement method
Allow and support children to keep diaries, let them write true stories, advocate writing true thoughts, write down their growth footprints, and leave their youth happiness and distress. This is not only a persistent exercise of will, but also a training of writing and expression ability, and it is also a good way to guide children to correctly understand the environment and correctly analyze their own improvement. If children hide their diaries and lock them up, this is a normal psychological reaction. It is not normal for an adolescent to let his teachers, classmates and parents read his diary, which is often full of big talk, empty talk and lies. He may have another purpose. If one day, the diary that has been locked arrives on the table, parents should be careful, and the child may leave a mark. He is testing whether his parents are honest.
In fact, it is to let children write some imaginary plots in their diaries, create some imaginary "events" and be romantic in their diaries. This is a kind of psychological catharsis for children, which can play a role of counseling, especially conducive to the psychological adjustment of introverted children.
9, written conversation method
Living under the same roof with children, isn't it too pretentious to speak in words? No, written dialogue has special effects; Parents can prevent impulsiveness, recklessness and impatience during the interview, consider sentences rationally, master the educational discretion, and leave their children with a philosophy of life that they repeatedly appreciate, so that they can think and remember in writing. At the same time, written conversation often becomes a supplement and amendment to the interview, and it can also increase the content that is difficult to say in person, which is often needed in adolescent education. For example, a father found the boy's hand X, very angry and impatient, and scolded the child to his face. Afterwards, the father felt that he had gone too far and put too much mental pressure on the child. He was afraid of causing an indelible shadow on the child, so he wrote a letter and put it under the child's pillow. I reviewed my reckless attitude, reduced my child's guilt, and encouraged my child to be an open, honest and interesting person. For another example, many parents use aphorisms, aphorisms and famous sayings of celebrities to educate their children to cherish youth and not to fall in love early. A parent wrote a letter to his child: things in the world often have gains and losses. It is a temporary and necessary loss for middle school students to give up love, and the love lost in middle school will double in adulthood; And if you give up the knowledge and skills that middle school should acquire easily, you will never get them back in your life.