Parents are role models for their children. Demonstration 1
A mother confided: My child's self-control ability is so poor that he can't do it no matter how well he speaks.
I have to be angry many times every day before he can barely finish some homework.
My heart is broken for him.
But now we are like enemies.
I really don't know what to do. It makes me sad to think that my father works so hard to make money outside every day, and I can't even educate a child well.
What worries me more is, what will the children do in the future if this continues?
Mother's words are full of anxiety, disappointment, sadness and helplessness.
She couldn't control her excitement, and her tears kept flowing downwards.
Obviously, this is a very emotional mother.
In the face of such a mother, the first thing we have to solve is not the child's problem, but her own emotional problem.
In the face of parents' bad emotions, children are prone to inner conflicts.
On the one hand, they have to rely on the care of their parents to meet certain needs; On the other hand, they don't like these bad emotions of their parents and some of their behaviors.
Inner contradictions lead them to be irritable, unhappy and distracted, and in severe cases they may be nervous, anxious or forced.
There are also some physical discomfort symptoms that can't be detected, such as headache, dizziness, chest pain, breath holding and so on. To alleviate greater inner anxiety.
In the long run, they will oppress this kind of trouble to unconsciousness, consciously or unconsciously take some antagonistic behaviors, such as compulsion, lying, truancy, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, etc., and often love troublesome children, so they are less and less liked by their neighbors, and may even develop into anti-social personality.
Children's psychological problems and parents' bad behaviors and emotions are often mutually causal and need to be adjusted by both sides, but adults should have self-control.
Parents are role models for their children.
The next day in Tomb-Sweeping Day, I worked the night shift after dinner.
Walking on the sidewalk, I was suddenly attracted by the noise in front of me It turned out to be a boy who looked about ten years old. Because he was busy playing with the car in his hand, he didn't pay attention to the steps under his feet and fell down.
A woman who walked two or three steps ahead of the boy asserted from her tone that it must be his mother.
She turned to the boy and said angrily that she only knew how to play with cars and cared nothing. When you get home, see how I can beat you.
I really saw the boy fall down and stood up without saying anything, but he was scared and stared at his mother's ferocious expression.
After listening to my mother's reprimand, I will feel even more uneasy.
Seeing the situation of boys and mothers, I can't help but want to express my opinion.
Imagine that the boy was already depressed when he accidentally fell, and he deserved his mother's love and care.
If the mother stepped back and touched her son's head affectionately, the wind whispered, "Did my good son fall?"? We are men, and it doesn't matter if we fall. We can't be distracted when we walk, and we can play when we get home. " ? What is the boy's mood? Instead of blaming him, his mother gave him cordial comfort. How warm he should be.
However, a reprimand from the boy's mother will definitely add heavy pressure to his heart.
How will mom beat herself when she gets home? Since then, the boy's heart has been hanging forever.
If he comes home and is really beaten by his mother, what kind of shadow will his young heart leave?
We all came from such a big age. At that time, children were not afraid of adults because they would be beaten if they didn't obey. Some people hit them with brooms, some with belts and some with wooden sticks. A dutiful son is born under the stick? Are the fallacies of many parents' exercises oblique? Family law? On the basis of.
The times have progressed and the atmosphere has changed. A family has only one baby, not to mention beating and cursing. It still hurts.
Even so, there are still some young parents who scold their children as soon as they open their mouths and fight as soon as they raise their hands, which makes the relationship between them very tense and makes their children buried at an early age? Hate it? The seeds of.
No matter how much food, clothes and fun you buy him, you can't erase his broken heart.
Frankly speaking, in the past, a couple could support four or five children, and as many as seven or eight children, all of them were full of vigor and vitality.
But now, a couple think it is very hard to raise a child, and some are afraid of suffering, so they simply don't have children.
Of course, there are social and environmental factors, which are also directly related to young parents' weak sense of responsibility. They are generally only children, and they have enjoyed special preferential treatment since childhood. When they become parents, they lack enough love and patience.
Often frivolous, impetuous, selfish mentality prevailed.
The resulting bad emotions are easily dispersed to children.
In the long run, it will not only do great harm to children's hearts, but also hurt each other's most precious family ties.
Good communication between parents and children is based on mutual respect, mutual understanding and mutual concern. Parents can't just because they are elders? Who followed me? Chang? Who is against me? Death? Children can't do whatever they want just because they are babies at home.
In terms of both, the responsibility lies with parents, but what did the ancients have? Is it the godfather's fault? Is there a warning in modern times? Parents are children's first teachers? The name of the commandment.
The power of example is infinite. If parents set an example, children will follow suit.
Good ones follow suit, bad ones follow suit and show off their parents? A role model? How important it is.
A young mother and her ten-year-old daughter are not only affectionate mothers and daughters, but also unique. Teachers and students? .
One day, my mother was very tired after work, and her usual kind smile, happy mood and kind actions were gone.
Seeing that her mother was so depressed, the sensible daughter guessed that her mother must be in trouble and said to her gently, Mom, do you know why people's eyes are in front? The mother disagreed with her daughter's question.
The daughter went on to say,? Because people have to look forward and move forward! Mom, no matter how many difficulties and setbacks you encounter, don't be afraid. Just look ahead and move forward, and everything will be fine. ?
When the mother listened to her daughter, she was not only moved, but also surprised. How can her lovely daughter think of such a profound question in her mind on weekdays?
The daughter looked at her mother with watery eyes. Mom, put all the unpleasant things behind you and let's move forward together tomorrow. ?
The same mother, the same child, no less than I don't know.
Parents should not always think that it doesn't matter if their children beat and scold, and don't think that their children don't understand the affairs of adults.
Today's children are different from the past. Parents need to keep pace with the times and be good parents who understand their children's wishes, their hearts and respect their personality.
Parents are role models for their children.
Makarenko, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, once said: Parents' demands on themselves and their concern for every behavior are the most important and important educational methods for children. ? Parents are actually the most direct role models for children.
If you want your child to follow the direction you set, you must first be a role model for your child.
Because children's initial behavior habits come from imitating their parents.
The weekend is almost over. Looking at some books on my daughter's desk, I feel unhappy for a moment.
In fact, this weekend, I have made plans for my daughter to finish a composition of Youth Daily, do a set of English training questions and ten Olympic math questions.
The amount of these studies is not much, but my plans are all ruined.
In the past two days, my daughter has either said that she has too much homework or used various excuses as a shield.
I'm a little discouraged. I have been teaching for 20 years, and I can handle thousands of students easily. As she grows up day by day, I feel more and more at a loss.
My child's grades this semester are very unsatisfactory. If left unchecked, my children will eventually accomplish nothing. I thought of many ways and even made a series of plans to improve my children's grades.
However, two weeks later, the result disappointed me.
Every weekend, I give up writing and stay with my daughter, supervising and guiding her study.
However, the higher my expectations, the greater my disappointment. My daughter seems to be against me everywhere. I have made so much effort, but it is not the gratitude of the children. Her dissatisfaction and hostility to me deepened, she became more bored with her studies, and her grades gradually declined.
Tao Xingzhi, a famous educator, once brought an old hen to the podium when giving a report.
Although the old hen hasn't eaten for three days, when he grabbed the old hen's wings and forced the chicken's mouth to aim at the rice for the chicken to eat, the old hen stubbornly tilted her head and struggled desperately, looking like she would rather die than surrender.
But when Tao Xingzhi let go of the hen and stepped back, the hen couldn't wait to eat rice.
Will what I am doing now be like forcing hens to eat rice? I have doubts about my educational methods.
My daughter's strict discipline deepened her hostility towards me.
I watched TV for a while, trying to find some inspiration for this novel. My daughter jumped on me like a cat smelling fish, stood in front of me and said loudly, Mom, you told me not to watch TV, haven't you been watching it? I can't find anything to refute her at the moment.
One day, I was opening QQ, waiting to receive documents. The daughter immediately ran over, her mouth tilted high and she shouted discontentedly. Mom can go to QQ, why can't I?
My daughter has always been stubborn and unwilling to give up. Why don't I cooperate and have a fierce fight?
I looked up and pretended to be depressed and said, oh? Mom can't do what you can't do, so can you do what mom can do? Don't worry about mom if you can't do it! ?
On reflection, the daughter looked up and said proudly, yes! Who says I can't! ? As expected, the little guy was cheated into my trap step by step.
? Ok, how about we supervise each other from today? At my suggestion, my daughter happily accepted.
When you give children power, you give them the ability of self-control and self-restraint.
While controlling adults, children will always remind themselves that I have to manage myself before I have the right to control my mother.
So, unconsciously, she improved her self-discipline ability.
First of all, parents must set an example for their children.
Confucius said:? It is upright and does not command; His body is not straight, although he disobeys. ? As a parent, everything you say and do is the object that children should follow.
We should take the lead in setting an example for all the requirements put forward by our children, infect them with our good image and set an example.
Since then, every time my husband goes out, he always says to his children, Look at your mother! ? The child seems to have accepted a sacred task and is extremely happy.
On Sunday, my daughter and I discussed this problem at lunch. After dinner, we began to do our own thing. I wrote a chapter and she finished a composition. At 3: 30, we watched the match between China women's volleyball team and Russian women's volleyball team.
After dinner, we went back to our study.
In the middle of writing, my brain got stuck and I remembered a long-lost Korean romance. I turned the volume down to the lowest, secretly closed the door and watched Internet TV.
While I was looking at it, someone knocked at the door before I could say anything? Would you please come in? The daughter pushed the door in with a written composition.
She said discontentedly after seeing it. Mom didn't keep her promise, and she didn't keep her promise. She should be punished! ?
Being caught red-handed by a child, I felt ashamed and accepted her criticism like a child who made a mistake.
She punished me for mopping the floor this week, which is a new housework for her and her father.
Facing mistakes, everyone must be willing to punish.
Since then, I have been careful not to cheat at will, for fear of damaging my image and being punished by my children.
Children have also become clever and consciously regulate their behavior.
When she can't help it, she will discuss it with me.
For example, on Saturday afternoon, there is her favorite cartoon. In order to see that movie, she and I discussed that the time of playing and working should be changed. That afternoon, although she watched two episodes of cartoons, she used the remaining time to complete ten Olympic math problems and completed the expected task.
After that, we agreed that as long as the other person can complete the task of the day, no matter which way, just like walking, you can choose to run, ride a bike, detour or go straight, as long as you can reach the finish line within the specified time.
After a period of time, the children who used to study passively gradually developed the habit of learning consciously, and their relationship with me was also harmonious.
Under my influence, the little guy slowly fell in love with writing, touched a little way, learned to weigh words and conceive plots.
Because of the management power, my daughter is more active in learning.
On one occasion, my daughter's fairy tale "Intelligence and Alien Fight" was unexpectedly selected by Juvenile Weekly, and she unexpectedly won the first payment in her life.
That day, my daughter was very excited.
She has an appointment with me. Mom, I want to write more compositions and challenge you. You write one later, and I'll write one. ? In order to encourage her enthusiasm, I have made an abacus and bought her a workbook. As long as I feel good, she can sell it to me.
Ten dollars each, let her taste the fun of earning her own manuscript fee.
A year later, the children's works have been published! At present, I am considering finding a suitable publishing house for her to help her realize her dream of publishing books.
As long as she persists, I believe she will create a better tomorrow.