From the psychological structure, personality mainly includes self-awareness, ability, temperament, personality, interests, needs, attitudes, beliefs, value orientation and other factors. It is the different combinations of personality factors and different performance levels that make everyone behave as different individuals, and each individual is distinguished from each other through this different performance. For example, in real life, we find that some people are cheerful and can actively cooperate with others, communicate happily, make continuous progress and improve themselves; Some people are aloof and indifferent, treat people and things negatively, and feel depressed. The former and the latter are some manifestations of sound personality and imperfect personality. So, where does a sound personality come from?
In family education, there are many factors that affect children's sound personality. This paper focuses on the influence of parents' personality characteristics, parenting style and family environment on children's personality construction.
First of all, among many factors in family education, parents' personality factor is the core strength of teaching, which has a great subtle influence on the formation of children's personality. Because children are very imitative, their attitudes and ways of dealing with people all their lives are directly imitated from their parents. Parents' personality characteristics will also radiate to all levels of family life, which will give family life a unique color and then affect the formation of children's personality. If parents are warm and frank, and do things conscientiously and practically, there will often be a harmonious family atmosphere, and children will easily form warm, honest, friendly and good at communication when they are in frequent contact with relatives and friends. If parents are narrow-minded, calculating and scheming, and their children are exposed to the family life atmosphere of greed and cheapness for a long time, it is easy to form the habit of being a petty citizen and selfish, and it is also easy to form the habit of opportunism in the future. At the same time, the educational quality of parents and the ability, knowledge and concept of educating children also directly affect the development of children.
Secondly, the family rearing pattern is another important factor that affects the construction of children's sound personality. Family rearing pattern is the combination of parents' personality, parents' attitude towards children and educational methods. Generally speaking, family rearing patterns can be divided into
Authoritarian, protective, laissez-faire, democratic and mixed. Obviously, democracy is the best of all family education methods. Parents of democratic families believe that children are not only members of the family, but also members of the country and society. In the future, he will always live independently and go to society. He should teach his children the ability to take care of themselves from an early age, instead of doing everything with respect and affection. However, in the family education of the only child in China, there are still many protective parenting styles, resulting in unhealthy personality such as strong dependence, easy resistance, willfulness and loneliness.
Third, the family environment plays a key role in the construction of children's sound personality. "Home" is the cradle of children's growth, and children's life growth will always be branded with the environment. As far as the family education environment is concerned, it includes both the material environment and the spiritual environment within the family. The material environment does not refer to the luxurious decoration of the family, but a clean, orderly and healthy environment. Children should have their own world and activity time. The spiritual environment of the family has many contents, including family cultural atmosphere, value orientation, interpersonal communication, family style and family atmosphere. The spiritual environment is more important to the development of children's personality.
Good family education has a positive effect and far-reaching influence on shaping children's healthy personality. Therefore, as qualified parents, they should pay attention to their children's growth from the following aspects.
First, pay attention to children's overall health and promote the construction of children's sound personality. "Overall health" refers not only to physical and physical health, but also to mental and spiritual health, that is, personality health. In 198 1, the World Health Organization defines health as: "Health refers to being able to engage in daily activities with energy and agility, without feeling overtired, and being optimistic, energetic and easy to bear pressure." Nowadays, many children's unhealthy problems are caused by unhealthy lifestyles and inappropriate parenting styles. For example, parents' excessive expectations bring too much hopelessness, parents' excessive protection brings too much incompetence, parents' excessive doting brings too much ruthlessness, parents' excessive interference brings too much helplessness, and parents' excessive accusations bring too much helplessness. It is precisely because there are so many excesses that children have too many obstacles.
Especially in recent years, with the accelerated pace of life and the intensification of social competition, psychological problems among teenagers have spread and increased. The media has repeatedly reported a series of events that should not happen because of the weak psychological endurance of primary and secondary school students, which has sounded the alarm for us. As parents, we must pay enough attention to this and help our children maintain their mental health. In addition to the psychological barrier caused by the lag of ideas, another killer of children's mental health is unhealthy lifestyle. In family education, parents should pay special attention to cultivating children's good and stable mood and optimistic and cheerful personality, persist in exercising, strengthen their physique, improve their quality of life, change bad behavior habits, and develop good study and life habits.
Second, pay attention to cultivating children into honest and useful people.
Noble morality is the foundation of being a man, and honesty is the foundation of morality. To "learn to be a man", we must first learn to be an upright person. Tao Xingzhi said that "teaching thousands of people to seek truth and learning thousands of things to be a man" means learning to be a man. In ancient times, before we talked about "ruling the country with the family", we must first cultivate ourselves, that is, cultivate ourselves first and learn to be a man first. Before "Xiu De", we should first be "sincere", that is, the internal morality should be consistent with the external behavior. Generally speaking, "honesty" means not lying, seeking truth from facts, and taking telling the truth, not hiding from others, not hiding from yourself and not distorting the facts as unshakable principles. "Keeping promise" means being responsible for your own words and deeds, stressing credibility in doing things and keeping promises to others. This is a psychological quality related to honesty. It should be said that it is the simplest, most basic and most difficult to do this. Without this, it is difficult to establish other morals. Some parents use the method of "filial son under the stick" to manage their children, thinking that the stricter the discipline, the better the control. This attitude and behavior greatly affected their integrity and honesty. In fact, children's dishonesty often begins with imitating adults' greed for small profits, counterfeiting and hypocrisy.
Because children have little life experience, they are vague about some moral concepts. Parents should be good at grasping the educational opportunity of their children's first bad behavior, and let them correct their mistakes through targeted storytelling and persuasion education. Therefore, if adults are dishonest, they will teach their children to be dishonest; The rudeness and corporal punishment of adults will force children to be dishonest; Adults with material stimulation will induce children to pursue material enjoyment; The dishonesty of adults will cultivate the dishonesty of children. On the contrary, parents are upright in everything, and children learn to be upright; Parents are educated in democracy, tolerance and reason, and children dare to be frank; Parents distinguish right from wrong, and with correct guidance, children can easily develop trustworthy qualities.
Third, pay attention to influencing children with a good image.
Chen Heqin, a famous educator in China, said: "Family education is first and foremost the self-education of parents." Parents' own personality cultivation will exert a subtle influence on their children. Children learn from adults mainly through imitation. Children's imitation of adults is not limited to behavior, but also includes thinking mode, emotional orientation, customs and habits, personal character and so on. As long as the parent-child relationship is established, the personality of parents has a decisive influence on children. Parents' moral integrity and efforts can set a good example for children and stimulate their self-motivation and sense of accomplishment. And this kind of influence is lifelong, which is unmatched by any other educational force. Therefore, parents should constantly improve themselves and let their children set an example. Parents should also learn to respect their children and establish a good, harmonious, equal, mutual respect and two-way communication relationship and environment with them. Modern parents' behavior towards their children is nothing more than "love" and "control".
In infancy, parents should love their children unconditionally and wholeheartedly, from physical contact to meticulous care in physical and psychological aspects. At this time, "management" should try to adapt to the child's state, rather than conform to the parents' meaning; In early childhood, children gradually form a sense of self. At this time, parents and children must establish a real interpersonal relationship, regard the child as an "independent subject" and make every effort to make the child gradually become an "independent subject";
The love and care of parents in childhood must also be conducive to the independence of children. The core of love is care and respect. The purpose of "caring" is to emphasize the inspiration of children's autonomy and consciousness. By puberty, the child's personality has basically taken shape. At this time, the relationship between parents and children should be equal friends with profound friendship. Children learn to respect their parents and others from respect, and learn to think independently and live independently from the guidance of their parents. Therefore, the example behavior and bad behavior of parents will have a great influence on children. What we advocate is that parents should strengthen personality remolding for the healthy growth of their children, set an example in all aspects, match words with deeds, and set an example for their children in personality education.
Contemporary educators generally believe that there is no healthy personality.
There is no outstanding talent.
Childhood is the initial period of personality formation, and every brand given to children by family, society and groups will play an important role in determining the personality of adults. Personality training in early childhood can be carried out from the following eight aspects.
1, parents should first respect the personality of young children. Parents should get along with their children on an equal footing, use more "consultation" instead of "command", encourage more and blame less, avoid criticizing or even scolding their children in public, adhere to positive education, and cultivate their children's self-esteem, self-love, self-reliance and self-improvement from an early age.
2. Cultivate children's sense of responsibility and enterprising spirit. Parents should consciously let their children do what they can and let them develop the habit of doing things seriously. When children encounter difficulties, they should actively give guidance, improve their ability to overcome difficulties, and enhance their awareness of going forward.
3. Strengthen children's public moral awareness. Parents should educate their children not to climb flowers and trees in public places, not to scribble and not to spit everywhere; Respect the elderly and strictly observe discipline. Timely correct children's behaviors that violate public morality, and let children gradually realize that good social behavior is the external performance of noble personality.
4. Encourage children to actively interact with others. Parents should encourage their children to actively participate in various collective activities in kindergartens or schools, let them get along well with their neighbors' children, and let them learn to treat their peers sincerely, fairly, modestly and generously, care for others, respect their rights and interests and forgive their mistakes.
5. Mom and dad should always talk to their children, so that children can gradually learn to treat themselves correctly, understand each other and understand things reasonably; Cultivate children's psychological quality of not being proud of their achievements, not feeling inferior when they have shortcomings, and not flinching when they have difficulties.
6. Mom and Dad should live in harmony and influence their children's personality formation with their good image. If mom and dad study hard at ordinary times, it is easy for children to form a diligent and upward character; If children grow up in a family full of foul language, it is difficult for them to grow up without hurting others.
8. Parents should create opportunities for their children to see the world through the wind and rain. Don't pamper children, take care of them in every way. In order to benefit children's future survival and development, we should consciously strengthen the exercise of children from all aspects to enhance their independent living ability and adaptability to difficult environments. For example, let children take part in physical exercise and send them to relatives in rural areas for a period of time.
To sum up, all aspects of the family are very important to the healthy growth of children and the edification of personality.