At this time, you might as well ask yourself first, is the child's problem really so serious? Besides being angry, is there any better way to handle it? Often when parents calm down, they can find a solution to the problem, and the effect of solving the problem will naturally come.
1. Don't get angry in a hurry. Sometimes when faced with a problem, you should solve it calmly. There is a reason for children's problems. As parents, we should not only look at superficial phenomena, but also encounter small sparks like dry wood. Parents should calm down and find out what causes children to have such problems instead of being angry and accusing them blindly.
If you can't find the crux of the problem, you will be rude to your child, and you will be more and more rebellious. Therefore, when children have problems, parents' first reaction should not be to be angry, but to calm down and explore why children have such problems. Is it reasonable for children to behave like this? If children are brought back to the right track on the premise of affirming their rationality, this is the fundamental way to solve the problem.
2. Don't rush to educate. It is better for children to wake up voluntarily than by force. Sometimes, even if you find a child's problem, you don't have to rush to education, especially when the child realizes that he has done something wrong. At this time, parents may wish to give their children a step and let them experience it themselves.
San Mao, a Taiwan Province writer, once wrote down her childhood experience of stealing money in Cowards. At that time, she was in the third grade of primary school, but she never had her own pocket money. At that time, it was popular for primary school students to collect rubber bands and dream of red mansions character cards. These shops have them, but they can't buy them because they have no money. One day, by chance, she walked into her parents' room and found five yuan on the table, which meant a lot of rubber bands and cards. So I couldn't help stealing money from the table.
Although the money was put in her pocket, it tasted bad in her heart. She dare not use the money to buy things, let alone live in the same room with her parents. San Mao's face turned red at once when she heard her parents say that 5 yuan was short of money. She put the money in her trouser pocket. When her mother tried to clean her pants, she was afraid to let go. She just blushed and said "headache". She was on tenterhooks all afternoon. In the evening, her parents took her to see a doctor, and the doctor couldn't see anything wrong with her. Finally, while her parents were not paying attention, she took out the five yuan and quickly put it back in its original place, and an uneasy heart fell to the ground.
This is her only experience of stealing money. In fact, parents knew for a long time that she had taken the five dollars, but they didn't reveal it, because judging from the child's performance, they knew that even if they didn't educate their daughter, she had realized her mistake. In this case, they will educate the child in a silent way and give her an education that does not hurt her self-esteem.
In response to this matter, Sanmao's parents Hai Jin reflected and corrected their mistakes. They thought that it might be some usual practices that made their children have such a result, so they began to give their children a certain amount of pocket money every month, giving them some snacks that she loved, and so on. This practice is worth learning from some parents who are usually anxious and angry.
Don't rush to bear fruit slowly. Sometimes it is also a kind of wisdom. Every child is a flower, but their flowering period is different. When other people's flowers bloom in spring, don't worry that your own flowers have not yet bloomed.
The so-called slow support does not mean that time is slow, but that the mentality should not be anxious, and the children should not be eager to achieve success. Temporary speed and efficiency mean nothing. Parents should learn to respect their children's individual differences.
Sometimes children learn poorly, just because they have not found the motivation and fun to learn for the time being, not intentionally. Maybe it's just out of curiosity, satisfying rebellious psychology. When parents guide them for a period of time, children may be able to correct them.
Children's education should be done slowly. What is easy for parents may be a big problem for children. Parents should learn to slow down and grow up with their children. Open education does not mean that parents are indifferent to any behavior of their children, but slowly educate them.
Life doesn't happen overnight, it takes a long time. For parents, the time they can spend with their children is actually very limited. Letting go temporarily may make children make mistakes, but in the process of making mistakes, they will learn their own lessons and let go slowly. No parent can completely let go at once. Slow care can help children find themselves better.