Therefore, if children want to grow up better and be obedient, the first thing parents should do is to relax, and they must remain calm and think about how to deal with such problems. Quarrel will never solve the problem. Parents should communicate and never be violent.
Cousins said that in the past, taking time to think was actually the most time-saving method. Parents need to do the same in educating their children. Only by thinking hard can we better find problems and find suitable opportunities for further communication with children.
When communicating, let children feel the sincerity of parents. Never communicate in a commanding or reproachful tone. Treat children equally, and they will accept your opinion more easily. Children will gradually see problems from their own behaviors and correct them.
In other words, sometimes "cold treatment" is really an effective way to educate children, even the most effective way. But what exactly does cold treatment mean?
Many parents will fall into an emotional stage when facing their children to deal with problems. Parents will be particularly angry if their children make mistakes or fail to meet their expectations.
Negative emotions will have a bad influence on both parents and children. Negative emotions will be exchanged for such rude behavior, which has no effect at all. Even if parents are educated like this, they never realize the harm of this method.
If you really can't control your emotions, don't talk. Be angry, but control it. If it really doesn't work, find a place where no one is there to calm down and talk to your child. More importantly, don't speak ill of them, say something that hurts their hearts, or there will be no way to save them in the future.
The meaning of cold treatment is not to let everyone have a cold war with their children and do nothing, but to vent their anger and talk to them calmly. Otherwise, if the problem is solved by violence, a more serious situation may happen at any time.
"Cold treatment" can make parents more calm and even have a relatively clear head. Everyone has a bad temper when he is angry, but it is forbidden to do so when educating children. Good communication can enable both parties to achieve their goals. Parents should follow the following principles when dealing with their children's education problems in a "cold treatment" way.
1, praise and encourage children more, and be less indifferent.
In this process, these children will gain self-confidence, become stronger and stronger, and even do what they want to do better. In contrast, if you give them proper praise, they will feel that their actions have been recognized and affirmed by their parents. When they fail, they must be encouraged to get out of adversity quickly.
Some parents are very cold when they treat their children. Indifference can only be enough, and it must be moderate, otherwise you will feel that no one cares for you after a long time. Become very naughty and make trouble everywhere in order to win the attention of parents. If they get your attention, some children will stop making trouble.
2. Educate children according to their personality characteristics.
In fact, different children's cold treatment methods are different. It needs to be judged according to the actual situation. Some children are not born too cold to be educated.
Generally speaking, as long as parents follow these principles in the use of "cold therapy", there will be basically no major problems, and children will get better if they adopt this treatment.
Dickens once said that no matter what kind of things, we should deal with them calmly.
Parents must not worry when dealing with their children's mistakes. Let the children reflect on themselves properly, give them some opportunities and time, and maybe things will take another turn.
The way of "cold treatment" is to calm both sides down, so that children will not resist when facing their parents. Parents can also communicate with them with peace of mind and express their feelings and opinions at different levels, so that children can feel valued and cared for.
So the advantage of "cold treatment" is that it can make things simple, but we should also seize the opportunity when dealing with it. If we keep calm for too long, maybe things will get worse. Some parents should grasp the degree when dealing with this, and how to do it specifically needs to start from the following aspects.
1, the mood must be stable.
Parents and children should keep calm and don't be too nervous in any situation. They must first adjust their state and gradually stabilize, which will help the communication between the two sides and further promote the children's growth in a healthy direction.
It's easy to get upset, but it's hard to control your emotions. Impulse and irritability will not bring any good results. Sometimes parents are really angry because of their children's mistakes, but calm down. If they can really correct these mistakes, maybe parents won't be so angry.
Nowadays, many parents have great emotional fluctuations in educating their children. Some parents will criticize their children in public and even belittle and accuse them in front of others. This is very harmful to children.
2, the specific situation, specific analysis.
Once there are problems and contradictions, don't rush to criticize your children. No matter what happens, you must find out first. Only in this way can we make a fair judgment, whether at school or at home, and see who is right or wrong with the most fair judgment, so as to avoid the inner harm after being punished as much as possible.
Sometimes when children are bullied outside, parents will criticize them first, regardless of whether it is their children's fault or not. Parents don't know why there is a conflict, so they will teach their children a lesson.
In the process of "cold treatment", we must first look at the actual situation and see if the child is at fault. If not, be sure to help children get justice, and then tell them what to do next time when dealing with the same problem.
3, you can calm down for a day and then deal with it.
The purpose of this is to give children better time to deal with problems and reflect on what they have done wrong. If you don't criticize them, maybe the children themselves will regret it and take the initiative to talk to their parents.
It is normal for children to make mistakes when they are young. Under normal circumstances, there will be no major problems of principle. With patient guidance, maybe the final result will be much better than expected.
Of course, as I said just now, if you want to educate your children in a "cold treatment" way, you must decide according to the actual situation. Some children's personalities are not particularly good. If you deal with them every other day, they will forget about it and will not reflect at all, just like Xiong Haizi.
In fact, all educational methods are aimed at providing a better communication environment for parents and children. Both sides are in a stable mood, and basically they can talk about anything they want. Moreover, in the process of conversation, we should still look at the children positively, let them feel respected and recognized, and be more willing to listen to their parents' feelings. So "cold treatment" is the best way to solve the problem.