Nowadays, both parents and children should pay attention to the shaping of personality, because personality education in today's society is not very good! As we all know, faith education and moral education are very lacking in the current education system. If education has not changed and moral education has not been put in the first place, although students have studied in school for more than ten or twenty years, it is difficult for them to really use what they have learned in school after leaving school.

Children are the future of family, society, nation and mankind, and all hopes are pinned on them. Therefore, both parents and people of other social classes should be concerned about this important issue-let children receive the education of human rules from an early age. Yan Jiaxun quoted an old saying: "When a woman comes, she teaches her son. It means: the daughter-in-law should teach the rules as soon as she gets home, otherwise she can't change it after she is formed; Childhood education is also very important, because the absorption ability is particularly strong at this time, and the knowledge learned will never be forgotten.

Therefore, it is necessary to recite the Disciples Rules and other personality education books that are beneficial to children's life. Although I didn't understand the meaning when I was a child, it will be of great benefit to my life after I recite it. Yang Zhenning, a famous scientist, recited Mencius under the pressure of his parents when he was a child, and later won the Nobel Prize in Physics. He once said: physics has little effect on being a man, but moral education since childhood has greatly changed my life. Therefore, be sure to let the children recite these books.

Second, family education should pay special attention to

But now, in society, there is less and less concern for children. Although compared with more than ten years ago, the money spent on children is far more than ten times, but parents spend less and less time with their children. Children's education depends entirely on the school, and the school does not pay attention to personality education. In the society, it completely entered the dye vat, and finally family education, school education and social education all failed. In this way, it is impossible to cultivate talented, filial, caring and compassionate talents. Therefore, family education is very important!

Nowadays, children often watch TV and surf the Internet, especially like to play some unreal games online, so the whole childhood is wasted. There is only one spring in a year and only one childhood in a lifetime. If we are abandoned at this time, we can imagine what the future society will become. Moreover, it is now the one-child system. Seven or eight people in the family worship children like pearls, and everyone loves them. But growing up in such a living environment may not be good for the future. Therefore, the discipline of children should be strict and children should not be allowed to do whatever they want.

But to educate children well, parents should also have the concepts of compassion, care and equality. In the past, an American scholar visited more than 20 countries and interviewed more than 10,000 children. He found that children were not very concerned about material living conditions such as food, clothing, housing and transportation, but most concerned about family spiritual life. Therefore, since parents love their children, they should pay attention to their words and deeds.

Third, Buddha's education began at an early age.

Therefore, I call for learning Buddha from dolls! If you learn good methods such as compassion, chanting Buddha and offering lanterns when you are young, you will leave a deep impression in your mind. When you grow up, you will not vilify or even destroy the concepts of good and evil causality and reincarnation pain.

Why many people in modern society don't believe in afterlife and cause and effect is because they didn't have this opportunity and cause and effect when they were young. If you grew up under the education of atheism, when you grow up, your outlook on life, values and world outlook will only be centered on this world. Now there are many short-sighted people who don't take care of their parents, wives and children, ignore the poor around them and only care about themselves. The reason is closely related to education. If you have no compassionate education since childhood, you just spoil him. He will never be happy when he grows up.

Once upon a time, there was a child whose parents were very kind to him. They often give him the best food to eat and the best clothes to wear. Later, the mother asked the child, "What should I do if you grow up and I get sick?" ? "The child replied," If you are very ill, I will put you to sleep. At that time, my mother was very angry and said, "I am so good to you, why should I be euthanized?" He said, "Euthanasia is painless. You can die happily, and I won't have a burden. This is caused by the lack of Buddhist education since childhood.

I believe both parents know that the future of the whole family depends only on this little baby, and he has a great responsibility when he grows up. In the past, there were several children at home. One is unfilial, the other is unfilial, and the third is unfilial. When parents encounter difficulties in their later years, they can always find children to take care of them. But this is not the case now. A family has only one child. If there is something wrong with the child's moral personality, the whole family will have no hope. Therefore, it is necessary for children to establish a correct outlook on life from an early age.

Childhood education is very important! Just like a small tree, it can grow straight even if it is bent; If it has grown into a towering tree, you can't change it After primary school, middle school and university education, people's outlook on life is basically stereotyped. At this stage, we must instill unique Buddhist education such as tolerance, selflessness, compassion and altruism, and denounce all kinds of thoughts that are unfavorable to families and other sentient beings in modern society. Only when children grow up can they gain a foothold in the stormy waves.

Fourth, parents and teachers have great responsibilities.

In the past, Lao She, a famous writer, said, "From private school to primary school and then to middle school, I have experienced at least 20 teachers. Some teachers have a great influence on me, while others have no influence at all. But my real teacher, who inherits my personality, is my mother. My mother can't read What she gave me was the education of life. Although his mother can't read, relying on the power of example has also influenced his life. For example, Lao She was hospitable, uninhibited, enthusiastic, fond of flowers, cleanliness, neatness and order all his life, which he learned from his mother.

Therefore, parents here, don't give their children to schools and teachers on an excuse, and don't care about them. If you are irresponsible to your children, you may not be happy in the future. If the child is allowed to accept the compassion and wisdom of the Buddha from an early age, even singing a song, writing a composition, writing a poem and dribs and drabs of education will affect his life and let us have no worries in the future.

People often say that children are the future of the motherland because their thoughts affect the whole society. Therefore, teachers should put personality education in the first place and knowledge education in the second place, so as to cultivate talents with both ability and political integrity. Why put "virtue" in the first place? Because people have no morality, even if they have wisdom, they will harm society. At present, some college graduates are quite wise, but because they don't have the basic idea of being a man, they are simply unfilial to their parents and irresponsible to society.

Therefore, for their own interests, children must learn the altruistic teachings of Mahayana Buddhism, that is, let children grow up in an educational atmosphere full of wisdom and compassion. In this regard, teachers and parents should always pay attention. Only in this way can morality and wisdom increase hope.

I've probably said so much today! Thanks again to the school teachers, who have worked hard to educate their children. At the same time, I hope parents can often listen to teachers, they will be very happy and cherish such opportunities, because it is not easy to learn to create such conditions for everyone. The selfless dedication of teachers is gratifying, and it is hard to say how long the karma will last in the future. Finally, I hope everyone will work together to create fruitful results!

Thank you!

Attachment: Live Q&A

See if you have any questions about raising children, you can ask them.

1. Q: This school has traditional culture, but there are no courses such as Chinese and mathematics. I wonder if I can send my children to this school?

A: Although traditional culture is very important, we can't ignore the education in ethnic schools, because the future work is related to the school textbooks. Therefore, it is mainly to study textbooks and accept the education of traditional culture such as Disciples Rules. If you give up all courses such as Chinese and mathematics and study China culture such as Disciples' Rules, you will have some difficulties for the society when you grow up. Therefore, we should put school education in the main position, supplemented by Chinese studies and Buddhism.

Some people want their children to become monks. I suggested to them that although becoming a monk has great merits, they have to face the society in the future, so it is best to wait until they finish college and have a chance to become a monk. If you become a monk at a very young age and have not received a national school education, it will be more troublesome to become a monk. Similarly, just letting children learn Chinese studies may not be able to find a job in society, so they still have to receive formal school education, supplemented by Chinese studies.

2. Q: These children are all of primary school age. They are very lively and active. Sometimes they like to talk and sometimes they can't sit well. I want to ask the guru, should I be stricter or looser with them?

A: It should be stricter. Mai Peng Rinpoche said in The Prince [1]: Even before 16 years old, you should beat your children like enemies; If he doesn't fight, even the teacher won't look down upon him. Of course, you can't fight too hard, and there is no need to take a beating class every day, but it won't do if you are not strict. Therefore, when the teacher is strict, parents should also cooperate, otherwise the children will not learn knowledge. Buddha said in the Buddhist scriptures: As a teacher, temporary beatings are allowed for the benefit of students. Of course, some teachers use this as an excuse that they don't have a good class at all except beating people, which is also unreasonable.

Q: As Buddhists, children are always taught not to hurt ants and other small animals, but at school, some children often attack them and say, You are different from others. I want to know how we can enlighten them so that they won't be hurt.

A: Generally, schools in Tibet will tell children about killing children from an early age, such as being harmful to their own health and their parents' health. Therefore, the concept that Buddhism does not harm all beings has long been rooted in children's hearts. However, China's cultural customs are different, and many children are harmful to all beings. But as a Buddhist, for the sake of children's future, killing must be banned.

Q: There are many games on the Internet now, such as growing vegetables and raising fish. Children like playing with them very much, but it's a waste of time. I don't know how to tell them until they understand.

There is no internet or TV in our family, but my relatives and friends feel sorry for my children. They also said that I was a cruel mother and my children felt sorry for themselves. I also blame my parents and don't know how to treat them.

A: Now, except for a few families who are particularly concerned about their children, children in many families spend a lot of time watching TV and surfing the Internet every day, and even indulge in the illusory online world. This is very harmful to the healthy growth of children, but there is nothing we can do. The virus has spread to every corner of the world, and we must stop it completely. We don't have the ability.

As a child, like a devout Buddhist, there are certain difficulties. Yesterday, the teacher here also said that children should have some time to relax and watch TV for an hour once in a while, but there is no need to surf the Internet, which will make them feel relaxed. If the children are not allowed to move at all according to the requirements of adults, and they have to practice Chinese characters and bodhicitta for a long time every day, it is definitely impossible. So some places should leave some space for them appropriately.

5. Q: The child is too strict. They are afraid of a sense of loss or a rebellious attitude. Some people say that IQ will be low. What should I do?

A: As parents, on the one hand, we should be strict, on the other hand, we should give some convenience. The situation of children in each family is different, and the methods should be changed, but children should not be given too many opportunities to play.

Nowadays, many people have no control over their children's pocket money and will spoil their children. Although they will feel lonely compared with rich children who spend a lot of money, as long as parents encourage their children to spend their minds on learning knowledge through positive education such as Disciples Rules, they will gradually feel at ease.

6. Q: My two daughters have changed a lot since they learned Disciples Rules. I really want to share it with other children and let more people receive this kind of education. But my ability is limited, sometimes I feel powerless to other children's problems and lose confidence in all beings. Please enlighten me!

A: It is normal to see such a phenomenon in the process of carrying forward the Disciples' Rules. But moral education is particularly important now, so no matter what problems or difficulties you encounter, you must have a brave and uplifting heart. Since you have made a wise choice, which is beneficial to other sentient beings, you should stick to it and not give up halfway.

Q: I am usually busy at work, and I have taken several classes. I have little time to take care of my child, so I have to send him to be a tutor. But I think it is difficult for him to learn badly, and it is easy to learn badly. He soon learned some bad habits, such as not being a vegetarian. So I feel quite contradictory about work, study and family education. However, if I go home and take care of my children wholeheartedly, it won't be good, because I have learned a lot. Please enlighten me!

Answer: You should arrange some time for educating children, learning Buddhism, working and housework. You can't spend all your time educating your children not to learn Buddhism, and you can't spend all your time learning Buddhism regardless of your children ... otherwise, you will be partial to one side and not see the other, because you are responsible for these projects. When I was in college, I also divided my time into several parts, because I had to translate and practice, so it was easier.

8. Q: It is actually difficult for children to practice the rules of discipleship after learning them. I wonder how to adjust them.

A: Whether you study Buddhism, Disciples' Rules or other teaching materials, you may not be able to do it completely according to the requirements in the book. But as long as you have educational experience in this field, you will gradually be able to exert a subtle influence. Therefore, don't lose heart or even give up because you can't do it. Keep working hard and stick to it. Even if you can't learn well, it's better than giving up. Everything is like this. If you encounter any contradictions and difficulties, you should give up at once. This is unreasonable. So be diligent and strong, both of which are extremely important!

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[1] The Prince: "Before the age of five, you loved your philosopher; After ten years old, you fight like enemies; After the age of sixteen, you love your philosopher as much as your friends and relatives. 」