Xiao Su is the mother of two babies, the older is 5 years old and the younger is 2 years old. It's hard to take care of your family and work hard. She travels between kindergarten, family and company every day, and she is not allowed to be too distracted by reception, meeting organization and other work. Bauer is in a sensitive period of fear and cannot do without his mother's comfort.
Xiao Su said, "I feel on the verge of collapse every day, and not a day goes by without it. This collapse is the inability to concentrate between the baby and work. This sense of helplessness is really tormenting: children need you, work needs you, family needs you, and nothing can be put down. "
"There is a very important job at hand, but the child wants you to accompany him; When he called the customer, he shouted beside him and pulled his mother to play together; Sometimes when I go to heaven, the leader suddenly calls to arrange important work, so I have to find a corner to answer the phone at once. I am always at a loss and extremely anxious ... "
"This feeling often makes me feel helpless. Even if there is a compromise, I will feel that I can't control the overall situation. Sleeping at night is not practical, and I have no spirit at work during the day. If I encounter emotional fragility, I will easily lose my temper and try to hide and cry. "
"Then, when a child is sick, or seeing the gap between a child of the same age and his baby, it will also make me anxious. For example, children in other people's homes are fluent in English, and musical instruments feel good, while children in their own homes can only play with mud, and their hearts will collapse or roar, or their children will collapse if they are not interested in classes. "
Indeed, it is not easy to bring two babies. The babies are strong-willed and demanding of themselves. If dad doesn't cooperate, or doesn't take good care of his wife, feeling helpless and out of control, it's easy to lose his temper and feel like the end of the world!
Mothers often focus on their children and work and ignore themselves. Normal people need a balance between supply and demand of energy, have enough psychological resources, and take care of themselves first, so as to better take care of their families and work. So, how to solve the relationship between family and work?
The counselor suggested that Ma Bao:
It is a big "disadvantage" for many working mothers to ask too much of themselves. People's energy and time are limited, and there is no way to do everything. There must be many imperfections. If you set too high a goal for yourself and your children, it will not only be difficult to meet expectations, but also be prone to anxiety and helplessness.
1, tolerance is not only for others, but also for yourself. Try to calm yourself down, learn to relax and let yourself go.
2. How do you take care of your children? You should take care of yourself. The most basic thing is to eat well, sleep well, get enough exercise and have time to feel the bright sunshine.
3, to meet their emotional and psychological needs, when they are happy and depressed, there are channels to share and talk.
4. Doing less negative and harmful things will easily consume our psychological energy.
Only by taking care of yourself can you have more energy to take care of your children and your work. In the long run, it can also set an example for children to take care of themselves. Having healthy and positive living habits will exert a subtle influence on children.
In short, when a mother can't cope with everything in family, children, education and work, she must adjust her mentality and lower her expectations. To solve emotional problems, don't rush for success, and don't ask too much of yourself. It may be inevitable to get out of control occasionally, but it is good to make a little progress every day. If you feel that you are on the verge of collapse, you might as well leave yourself alone in a safe environment for a while. When you are calm, you can respond positively and then go back to avoid the negative demonstration effect brought about by the escalation of contradictions.