Cases of successfully educating children 1:
? In the process of educating children, the most challenging thing is to draw a box? The box of behavior. If this picture is too small, it will imprison the child and hinder his growth. But if the box is too big and the children are too free in it, it violates the bottom line. ?
Then the question is coming, how to draw a suitable box? Share two common cases in family education:
1. When my daughter was 8 years old, I asked her to manage a sum of 6000 yuan? Huge sum?
Every new year, children will receive a lot of lucky money. When the daughter has no concept of money, she will already vaguely feel that it seems uneconomical to give all the money to her mother, but it is impossible to keep it all for herself.
What our family made was that when she was 3 years old, we made a hand-painted family passbook together. After she received the money, she saved it one by one. We will tell her that if the money is not spent for a while, it will generate interest. So, she is right? Interest? Formed a shallow concept. A relative gave her some foreign currency, so we went online with her to see how much RMB the money could be exchanged for. Exchange rate? Tell her this concept.
Then we will guide her, since these are all your money, you have the right to control it, but you need to discuss with your parents where to spend it.
When she was 8 years old, I tried to get her to manage 6000 yuan? A large sum of money for our mother and daughter to travel to Beijing. At first, she felt that she was a millionaire. But she looked up a circle of information on the internet and came to tell me that we were going on a poor trip.
She analyzed that if we had a simple lunch in one day, we could take a taxi. If you want a good meal, you must take the subway. She will also tell me which scenic spot to go after four o'clock in the afternoon, because the tickets will be half price.
When she went abroad to study in junior high school, we also made an annual plan with her. The monthly pocket money can be adjusted and controlled by yourself. In addition, we have set up some special funds, such as special tourism projects. Some special projects have no names. She can decide where to spend them, but she must apply to her parents in advance.
Now that she is about to enter the university, we have also agreed on a plan together. According to the financial analysis list provided by the school website, we take the average of each expenditure item and calculate the total amount for her, but the specific distribution can be decided by her.
As you can see, with the growth of age, this box is slowly expanding. We not only gave her free space, but also guided her.
2. Cultivate the awareness of rules from the time children go out to play.
Parents should make a rule with their children in this matter.
For example, in primary school, when you go out to attend class reunion and other activities, your parents must pick you up at any time; Junior high school can only participate in activities at lunch and tea time, and must go home at dinner time; In high school, the time limit can be relaxed and you can come back before 9 pm. After entering the university, children become adults and are no longer restricted by these rules.
When you communicate this matter with your child, he will feel that it is a very fair thing. This not only established his sense of rules, but also made him? Look ahead? Understand and look to the future. There is a lot of learning to draw this box well. Here, it is very important to give parents a suggestion: once you observe your child's hobbies, don't directly suppress them even if you don't agree with them. Because, maybe the final result will surprise you!
My daughter loves to dress up since she was a child. She can stay alone in front of the mirror for a long time. When she had only tens of dollars of pocket money a month, she began to buy expensive fashion magazines. Maybe conservative parents will suppress this hobby, but we chose not to interfere.
As a result, I was particularly moved that in the year when she went abroad to study, she gave me 30 sets of clothes, from coats to scarves to bags. Each set was posed on the bed and photographed, and finally printed and posted on my closet door. She wants her mother to sleep a little longer every morning, without worrying about the matching of clothes, and she can guarantee that she will not dress again for a month. Now my daughter is probably the most fashionable among schoolmasters and the best among fashionable girls.
Contradiction may be a good opportunity for communication.
One summer vacation, my daughter went to an internship in a foreign-funded pharmaceutical company. At the end of the internship, the company wants to invite her back to open an internship forum. My daughter said that the company was too far away from home to go, but she felt that the company was good to herself. She didn't know how to refuse and began to sulk at home.
Ordinary parents will definitely find their children's performance inexplicable. However, you should try to see the essence through the phenomenon. After analysis, in fact, she wants to go, but she is a competitive person. She thinks that other interns are college students and will perform better than her, so she is worried.
I found her psychology, I didn't find it directly, I just gave her an idea. I might as well make a video to express my thoughts. On the one hand, it can be modified continuously during recording, and at the same time it shows courtesy and respect. As a result, after receiving this video, the company wrote her a long letter to express her gratitude, and she was very happy.
Therefore, in the event of conflict, parents should see the root of their children's troubles, but not find them, but help them find ways together. This is a key in parent-child interaction. But only if you know your children!
How to know your children? In this regard, there are some suggestions:
1, spend quality time with children
When you are with your child, if you just stare at his homework, you will nag him about how good other children are. This kind of communication has no quality. When he really needs your help, you will be at a loss. Recently, I received a parent, and her communication with her children was blocked because she felt that she should insist on the dignity of being a parent. I told this parent that the consequences could be serious. Because once the child has a problem, you won't find it the first time, and he won't tell you the first time. When you find out, it will be a big deal, and you can't handle it.
Therefore, for parents, it is necessary to leave a communication door between you and your child. Communicate with quality more, usually there are not so many principles of right and wrong.
We might as well set up some family plans together.
The way I often take is to take my daughter to travel. In this process, don't look at your mobile phone all the time, or drag your children around chasing scenic spots. But to plan the itinerary, budget and take beautiful photos with him, so that he can fully participate. In this process, I believe you will find common topics.
In addition, children can also participate in some family projects, such as family gatherings in the New Year, and can discuss with him. Now that there is a party at home, my daughter will make an illustrated WeChat and make a registration form in the background, which is responsible for counting the attendance list. She will also arrange the seats herself and spend a lot of time designing and making them. Sometimes she can spend more than half an hour decorating a Sika. At this time, don't interfere with her, because she is doing her own work.
3. Seek the balance between parents and children.
I used to take her to Shanghai Book City to read and buy books on weekends. At first, her reading taste was unacceptable to me. I wanted her to read famous books, so she plunged into comic books. If I force her to read famous books simply and rudely, it may disgust her. If she is left alone, there will be no guidance.
So, I made an agreement with her: as long as you are willing to go to the bookstore with your mother to buy books, you choose two books and I choose 1 book. We will buy them home together and share and communicate with each other after reading them.
At the beginning of the implementation of this plan, I read many books such as cross-network novels. Although I feel bored, I will keep reading, so that I can have a common topic with her. Slowly, she also began to read the books I recommended to her, and her interest in reading began to change.
So, when there is a contradiction, don't let the line between you break. Take care of it first, there will always be a turn for the better. Until now, we have some different plans and ideas, and we will compromise each other and find a balance point.
4. Children's mistakes are the best communication opportunities.
I communicated with a parent two days ago. Her child made a mistake at school, and her parents were sitting in my office, very depressed. But I told her, you know what? Now this is a great opportunity for you to get closer to each other.
A child will feel a little guilty when he knows that he has made a mistake. Communication at this time is actually very effective. But at this moment, many parents are either furious or depressed and crying. In fact, it is not desirable.
At this time, if you hit him, he may feel that he has already taken the consequences, and this matter is over. If you cry and show weakness, children may feel sorry for you and feel guilty for a while, but it is not a long-term solution.
What you need is to give your child some positive incentives, set goals for him, make parents promise to help him, and make children promise to make corresponding efforts.
Case 2 of successfully educating children:
Jia of Luoning County, Henan Province used to be the manager of the clothing, shoes and hats company in this county. In order to train a pair of children into adults, he reluctantly closed the thriving factory to accompany them, devoted himself to studying hundreds of educational monographs, and finally sent a pair of children to a key university. He himself has become a well-known education expert in the country. With Jia's help, more than 900 children who are tired of learning have become top students, more than 400 teenagers with Internet addiction have successfully quit Internet addiction, and more than 80 dropouts have returned to school. In order to make this successful case available to more people, the main contents are summarized as follows.
First, the children's grades were too poor, and the father went on a hunger strike.
Jia Taorong has a daughter Jia Lei and a son Jia Yi, whose eldest son is two years old. Jia invested a lot of money and time in the study of a pair of children, but the result was very disappointing. After only 70 points in an exam, Jia was so sad that he lay in bed and sighed. He said to his daughter for two days and two nights without eating or drinking. It takes 30 points to get 100 points. I have to fast for at least three days. ? Jia Yi complained about his father? What kind of father is he who only recognizes his grades but not his daughter? It's no different from just recognizing money and not recognizing people. ? Jia cried sadly and unjustly: Who am I for? Isn't it for you? He jumped out of bed, grabbed something and threw it. Of course, he robbed the soy sauce bottle and took it out on worthless things.
The daughter's grades are not good, and the son is disappointing. One is playing games online, and the other is fighting with classmates. I almost got expelled from school after repeated education.
Second, looking back, raising children is not raising pigs.
1999, when Jia visited his cousin on a business trip in Zhengzhou, he found that his home used to be warm and tidy. Now the kitchen is very cold, there is dust on the table and cobwebs hanging in the corner. My cousin was lying in bed alone, with muddy tears streaming silently on his sallow face, and said, what a good boy Longlong used to be. Later, I clearly saw that he paid attention to food and clothing. I hurt him and ruined this family! It turned out that my cousin's son, Longlong, was boarding at school, out of the control of his parents, and made some irresponsible friends like a runaway wild horse. Later, he was addicted to drugs, which led him to be sentenced to four years in prison for robbery. His wife was mad, stripped naked and ran around the street, and was sent to a mental hospital.
After returning home, Jia remembered his cousin's tears and couldn't sleep all night: no success can make up for the failure of educating children! Thinking if you let it happen? Game * * *? Jia Yi, a sick son, will one day become like a dragon if he is allowed to slide down? Thinking about thinking, cold sweat dripped down his back.
Third, to educate children, we need to be educated first.
Jia thought, it is better to ask for help than to ask for help. Instead of pushing children to schools and others, it is better to turn yourself into an education expert. To this end, he resolutely carried out three commandments? I quit smoking, drinking and mahjong, subscribed to several magazines and newspapers, bought a lot of biographies of celebrities and educational monographs, and spent my spare time reading books. In the past, Jia had a heart-to-heart talk with his children, and it was not too annoying to repeat that sentence thousands of times. Study hard, huh? What does he say now? When was Li Zhengdao? When Lincoln was a child.
When Jia first asked his son if he was in a good mood, Jia Yi was surprised: I didn't fight with others recently, and I didn't take an exam! He looked at his father carefully and said, What's the matter? Just say it! ? Jia choked on his son and said wryly, I didn't know my son was not a pig before. No, I mean raising a son, not a pig. If you can't support yourself, everything will be fine. You should care about your son's joys and sorrows. In the future, I will be happy if you are happy, and I will be happy if you are happy, just as the lyrics say. ? Jia Yi was silent for a while, then said with red eyes. Dad, thank you for understanding that your son is not a pig. I really need spiritual care more than food and clothing. I hope I can discuss things with my father when I have difficulties and tell my father when I have troubles. ? Jia's eyes are also moist: for so many years, my son is talking to himself for the first time!
In the final exam, Lainka only got more than 60 points in mathematics. When she got home, she asked her mother to cook some good dishes first, and then kept picking up dishes for her father at the dinner table. Dad, when you are full, you have eaten all your meals for four days. ? After 60 o'clock, according to the usual practice, Jia will fast for four days. Unexpectedly, his father always smiles, while Lainka looks pale and thinks: This is the calm before the storm! Jia was not angry because he had just finished reading the works of educator Wei Shusheng. Teacher Wei said: it is the most painful and sad time for children to fail the exam. Parents should beat and scold again and put pressure on them. Isn't that putting salt on your child's wound? Parents who have the ability should help their children come up with specific measures and methods to improve their grades, while parents who have no ability should at least encourage their children.
Jia put away the math test paper and said to her daughter loyally, it is common for a military strategist to win or lose. How smart you were in junior high school. You even got full marks in math. With your cleverness, you will do well in the exam next time as long as you put your heart into it. Lainka couldn't believe his ears. He looked at his father suspiciously: You don't want to go on a hunger strike? Jia solemnly said that you failed the exam. Why should I starve? Lainka? Wow? I shouted: Dad, as long as you believe me, I will have confidence! A confident child is sure to succeed. In the college entrance examination, Lainka scored 138 (full mark 150) in mathematics and was successfully admitted to key universities? Shanghai University of Finance and Economics.
Fourth, the family is harmonious, and children can grow up healthily.
Before that, the war between Jia and his wife had been going on for more than ten years. They also went to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce, just because a friend of Jia who had been divorced three times told him about his life after divorce, right? Like wolves and tigers, one wolf left and another tiger came, and the family did not disintegrate. In order to create a favorable learning environment for children, Jia made up his mind to establish a friendly and mutually beneficial relationship with his wife. To this end, Jia is determined to change his bad temper. He wrote a sentence by the bed. Anger is followed by regret! ? Whenever he wants to get angry with his wife, he quickly runs into the room and yells at the bedside. Anger is followed by regret! ? After a period of persistence, Jia's temper is no longer grumpy, his mind is broadened, he understands his wife more and more, and even discovers her beauty.
One day, my wife tried on a new red sweater and looked in front of the mirror. Jia was shocked: his wife was slim, and her face looked gentle and charming against a red sweater. Did he blush? Pool? After a long time, I said, how beautiful! After more than ten years of marriage, my wife heard his praise for the first time and said with a smile: The sun has come out in the west today? That evening, his wife cooked four famous dishes for Jia in one breath. Jia ate happily and said, let the sun rise in the west every day! Since then, the couple have found the feeling of first love again. Since then, the family bonfire year of more than ten years has ended, and a pair of children are willing to go home on Sunday. Sing as soon as you enter the door: the sky in the liberated areas is sunny and the people in the liberated areas like it very much?
Fifth, help children quit internet addiction and close the factory to accompany them.
Although Jia Yi's relationship with his father at this time is as close as brothers, and his study is much more serious than before, Internet addiction can't stop for a while, and he was actually warned by the school. Jia was surprised by this and broke into a cold sweat. Considering that Jia Yi lives on campus, there are always netizens around him who encourage him to go to Internet cafes. Jia Yi has poor self-control, so he decided to close the thriving factory and go with his wife to accompany his son. His wife was a little reluctant at first, but Jia was firm: there will be opportunities to make money in the future, and his son's education cannot be missed. Jia Yi watched his parents carrying a lot of luggage with him, and his face immediately sank: Do you want to be a guard? Jia said sincerely: You are going to enter the university soon. By that time, our father and son will live far apart, and I'm afraid there will be few days together in the future. We should cherish the mutual affection between father and son and be companions for two more years. Besides, I also want to calm down and read some books.
Jia and his wife rented a house next to the school. The wife is in charge of food, and the husband is in charge of transferring his son's interest in online games. To this end, Jia set up a table tennis table at home and often learned from his son. Every morning, Jia and his son go running together. Three months later, Jia Yi not only improved his table tennis skills, but also became more and more interested in playing. He also won the long and short running championship in the school sports meeting, which gave him great confidence. As a result, Jia Yi went to Internet cafes less and less.
Jia Yi, who didn't go to the Internet cafe much one day, spent the night in the Internet cafe at the instigation of her classmates, and walked into the house with her head down the next morning. Jia not only didn't criticize him, but also brought hot meals and hot dishes, saying, Jia Yi, although you went to the Internet cafe again, your progress is amazing, and the number of times you went to the Internet cafe has been greatly reduced, which proves that you are a persevering person and you are not far from success! You can defeat powerful enemies like cyber demons. What are the difficulties you can't overcome? Jia Yi shouted excitedly: Long live Dad! Jia's eyes were filled with tears. Later, Jia Yi not only quit Internet addiction, but also was admitted to a key university like her sister Lainka.