When children play games, parents regard this as a problem, and then fall into fear and imagination of the future-my children's eyesight will decline, they will no longer study hard, they will not be admitted to a good school, they will not find a good job in the future, and they will degenerate!
When a child has a favorite opposite sex, parents still habitually regard it as a problem and fall into fear and imagination of the future as usual-my child is precocious, will fall in love, will no longer study hard, may get pregnant early, will not be admitted to a good school, will not find a good job in the future and will degenerate!
That's terrible! We must do our best to prevent the tragedy from happening!
So parents began to stop and restrict their children, but you will find that when you stop your children from playing games, they will confront you in the dark, either hiding under the covers to play mobile phones, or saving money to buy mobile phones quietly, or simply investing money to steal mobile phones; When you forbid children to have budding feelings, children may think that their affection for the opposite sex is bad and avoid intimacy, or simply turn their affection into "love" and have a vigorous love affair under the oppression of their parents.
The problem will never be solved. As long as you fight it and destroy it, this situation will only become more and more prominent under your "coach". When a problem seems to need to be solved, stop your worry and imagination and ask yourself a question: "What do I feel indisputably at this moment?"
Usually, the inner feelings that human beings refuse to experience are the fragile side they don't want to face. I am not a good mother/father, I am weak, I am weak, I am not important, I am not loved, and so on. The occurrence of external things will constantly strengthen such internal fragility into indestructible beliefs, and let us believe that if we don't do something, I am such a bad person. The action of solving problems will not make things better, but will continue to strengthen the authenticity of these inherent fragile beliefs and fall into an endless cycle: the more real, the better.
When you jump out of the frame of the problem and honestly see that you have rejected your inner vulnerability, you open the door to take full responsibility for yourself. In the stage of self-awareness, you choose to take full responsibility for your emotional reactions, and those problem events themselves will no longer bother you.
Your children are not the cause of your anger and impatience. Maybe only 2% is caused by him/her, but more is the sum of things that happen in your life.
This stage is very difficult, because it is easy to pass the buck to the other side, but it is too painful to face your own vulnerability, and almost everyone will look at each other from time to time to see if they have changed when facing their own hearts at this stage. It's like saying, "Look at me, it's so hard. I am facing the pain in my heart, and you have not changed. "
You know, awareness and submission are only for yourself, and the awareness of expecting the other party to change is just an empty expression. But this is a pattern that everyone has been used to for many years. Completely convinced and aware, there are indeed many challenges.
At this stage, you'd better have a teacher to accompany you regularly. He/she can gently remind you to remember your promise when the "problem" occurs and take full responsibility for yourself. The teacher won't teach you anything. He/she is your forerunner and demonstrator on the road to awareness, and will accompany you to adapt to the experience of awareness and encourage you to face your inner discomfort. Until the real you begin to wake up and experience your own infinity and energy, you will no longer need an external teacher. Your best teacher is yourself.
The real appreciation of children is the experience of awakening stage. You don't need to convince yourself at the spiritual level, you can experience it directly and appreciate it. At this stage, those troublesome events are no longer "problems to be solved", and you may even appreciate them.
This may sound incredible, but in the awakening stage, you will directly experience all the exciting events to support your emotional maturity and inner awakening. If you still fall into the habit of attacking and changing external people and events every time, you will find that life will only breed more things that stimulate you until you begin to be willing to draw your attention back to your own inner self and get the gift of life-to find your inner love and wisdom, which is not far away, but in your own place.