Parents' daily words and deeds have a subtle influence on children, and imitating others' words and deeds is a common behavioral feature of minors. "Teaching by example is better than teaching by words" is a well-known famous saying of godson in ancient and modern times. Whether children or adults, there should be no double standards in life. Imagine, if the child's irregular behavior is exactly what the parents do, will the child be convinced if the parents criticize the child's improper behavior again? A strong-willed child may retort to his face: "You taught him this!" " At this time, even if his parents slap him in the face and spank him, the child may not be able to endure the physical pain and stop resisting, but he will still refuse to accept it in his heart, and even despise his parents' personality and resent their tyranny. In many cities in China, people often see parents urging their children to grab seats on buses, or parents grabbing two or three seats for their children to sit down, ignoring the difficulties of pregnant women, the elderly and the disabled; In the park, there is a sign on the lawn that says "visitors are not allowed to trample on it", but parents turn a blind eye and lead their children into the lawn to spoil it at will or steal flowers for their children to play with.

A reporter from CCTV Focus Interview interviewed Xu Hongwei, a primary school student in Shanghai. Xu Hongwei said that his father taught him not to be too honest. If others are mean to you, you should be mean. He thinks this kind of education is "good". The reporter interviewed Xu Hongwei's father. Xu Hongwei's father said, "I taught him that if he is bullied, you must hit him, but you must also hit him!" Here we are reminded that parents should not only focus on cultivating their children spiritually and personally, so that they can form a good personality and mental outlook, but also pay attention to improving their own quality.

Parents are the first responsible person to educate their children on etiquette. When children are young, their behavior is mainly influenced by their parents. We don't want our children to behave rudely, so parents should be themselves first. Civilized parents can train their children to be gentle and behave appropriately.

Children's youth and fashion cannot judge people's elegance and vulgarity. Children learn to treat people from their parents' behavior and habits at the beginning, so the easiest way to educate children at this time is to set an example. For young children, one correct demonstration is better than ten "indoctrination". Children will inadvertently learn how to open the door for guests, invite guests into the house, pour tea for guests, listen to guests and toast guests from the etiquette and words of parents welcoming guests, talking to guests and eating with guests, and learn to "have proper etiquette and words in a specific place".

2. Enthusiastic encouragement-praise is more than criticism.

The cultivation of children's manners and manners is not to blame, but to encourage and praise. Encouragement is to urge children to implement certain behaviors automatically and consciously; Command is to use authority to force children to perform some behavior. Smart parents must adopt encouraging methods when cultivating their children's etiquette habits. For example, at the old man's birthday dinner, parents praised 10-year-old children: Son, you did a good job tonight! Mom and dad are happy to know that the newly served food should be put in front of grandparents first! But if you clean your mouth after eating the cake, so much the better.

Parents should set simple standards for their children's behavior. If the child does it, parents should smile or praise it verbally. Over time, children will develop good habits.

In etiquette education, if parents only criticize, accuse, complain and dig at their children, they will often turn their children from boredom to disdain, lose interest in etiquette learning and lack confidence in interpersonal communication. We want our children to feel that if they are polite, they will often be praised, gain the favor of others, and feel flattered in their hearts.

When children ask their parents for candy or toys, parents should let them say "please", otherwise, no matter how the children cry, they will ignore them; When the child gets the toy, let the child say "thank you", or take it back. If the child does it, he should be praised. Over time, children develop habits.

Etiquette education should be full of fun, typical demonstration, gentle reminder and timely encouragement.

3, environmental edification-hearing is better than seeing.

In the bitter fleabane bitter fleabane, I can't bear to go straight; White sand is nirvana, and it is black. The formation of children's etiquette habits is closely related to the influence of children's growth environment. Good manners and civilized behavior are not innate, nor can they be achieved in a short time. It is gradually formed under the influence of long-term education. It is a gradual process from the transmission of etiquette knowledge to the formation of civilized etiquette conscious behavior. To complete this gradual process, we need the promotion of education and the inspiration of the environment. Etiquette education is to improve children's rational understanding of etiquette norms, and environmental edification is to provide etiquette demonstration for children. Only by combining the two can the etiquette norms be internalized into children's own conscious behavior.

It spreads in the family and is good for children's growth. Because children often feel the demonstration of "respecting the elderly" by their parents. Frequent visits to families are conducive to the growth of children. Because children often feel the demonstration of parents' politeness. If parents visit relatives and friends, they may wish to bring their children and let them experience how others receive them.

Some parents often put their children in an environment that is only suitable for adults. Adults play mahjong together, drink, talk nonsense and swear. In such an environment, children will not only fail to learn manners, but will be negatively affected. When you find that your child is uncivilized and impolite afterwards, you should pay attention to blaming the child or being furious with the child.

4. Participate in practice-from "knowing" to "doing".

In the process of children's growth, autonomy and communicative competence complement each other. In real life, we will find that all children with strong autonomy have strong social skills. These skills, communicative competence and etiquette habits of children need to go through a process from "knowing" to "doing" and need to be cultivated in practice.

Let children participate in the activities of receiving guests from an early age, which is conducive to cultivating children's good habit of being polite to guests. In the process of receiving guests, children will personally realize that their status is different from that of guests, and naturally they will have a sense of pride and responsibility, and they will be more careful in their manners than usual. This is actually an internship opportunity for children to be polite to guests. If praised by guests, children will have a sense of satisfaction.

Children will not receive guests at first, which requires the help and guidance of parents. Before the arrival of the guest, let the children know what the guest is, what is his relationship with his parents and himself, and how to address him, so that the children are psychologically prepared to receive the guest. Parents can let their children prepare for the reception with themselves. For example, cleaning the room, purchasing candy, tobacco and alcohol, and jointly creating a welcoming atmosphere. After the guests come, parents can ask their children to entertain the guests with their parents, or they can ask their children to help their parents entertain one of the small guests. Ask the guests to sit down, pour tea for the guests, and let the children take the initiative to take out their toys for the little guests to play with. Children should answer the guests' questions generously and don't interrupt when adults are talking. When the guests leave, parents should evaluate their children's performance, give praise and encouragement, and point out their shortcomings appropriately.

After several such internships, the children's "reception experience" will be gradually enriched and their "reception ability" will be gradually improved.

5. Use the opportunity-family birthday party to let children learn to be masters.

Birthday is one of the great events in one's life. Every family should have birthday activities every year: for grandparents, for parents, for children and so on. There are many manners in birthday activities, so birthday activities are also a good opportunity to educate children about manners.

In my opinion, when choosing this activity form, you can choose the birthday of anyone in your family, but you can choose your child's own birthday for the first time, which may attract special attention and interest of children. On this day, parents can let their children be fully responsible for receiving and seeing off guests, so that children can cultivate etiquette habits in practice. Parents should help their children plan the day's activities and teach them etiquette knowledge in this activity. The following is the etiquette knowledge of this activity for children's reference:

(1) Welcome guests at the gate, show them into the room and introduce them to everyone. Every time I meet a new guest, the little guest will ask the guest's forgiveness for "excuse me". Whether adults or children, he will meet them. Offer to help the guests with their coats, and wait for the guests to give them gifts before taking them. Say "thank you" when you receive a gift, put it with other gifts, and then open it together.

(2) Say "thank you" every time you open a guest's gift to show that you like it. But don't say that so-and-so gift is your favorite. Don't comment on the price of gifts.

(3) If there are elders at the birthday party, let the elders sit down first and sit in their seats.

(4) If there are games in birthday activities, we must consider letting every guest participate. If there are disabled guests, we must pay special attention not to embarrass the disabled.

(5) If some guests have to leave early, the host will send him to the door, and thank you again.

6. Look for opportunities-attend friends' parties and let children learn to be guests.

Attending other people's parties and visiting other people's homes are also good opportunities for children to accept etiquette practice. Therefore, parents can selectively lead their children to various parties invited by some relatives and friends, so that they can put their etiquette knowledge into practice. The following contents are some common sense of etiquette as guests for children's reference.

(1) After receiving the invitation (verbal invitation or invitation), reply to the other party and tell the host that he is willing to attend.

(2) When you arrive at the meeting place, you should greet each other and your family.

(3) When the host introduces someone to you, you should say hello to them and try to remember their names.

(4) At the beginning of the banquet, wait for the dishes to be served, and the host will not move chopsticks until the banquet begins.

(5) When eating, don't turn over the dishes on the plate, pick and choose, don't pile up your own small bowls, and don't look like "grabbing food".

(6) When eating, don't say nothing, don't talk loudly, talk while eating, and talk while eating. Don't make too much noise when eating, and keep the civilization of "eating".

Say goodbye to the host and his family at the end of the party.