"On the afternoon of April 17 10, a teenager committed suicide by jumping off the Lupu Bridge in Shanghai."
17 years old is the most beautiful mood in life, and you can't say it in the blink of an eye.
? The boy is a senior two student of 17. It is said that he was in conflict with his classmates at school and was criticized by his mother. When his mother took him across the Lupu Bridge, he somehow parked his car in the middle of a dangerous road, and the teenager immediately opened the door and jumped off the bridge. At this moment, only a few seconds, people who are slow to respond will be a little dumbfounded.
? From the video details of the news, we can clearly see that before the teenager jumped off the bridge, the mother stopped the car in the middle of the bridge, turned on the double flash, got up and left the seat, and kept scolding the child. What a mistake the child must have made! My mother should be scolded first for parking her car in such a dangerous place!
Seeing this scene, I was shocked! Following the Dolphin Family Education College, we have established nearly 10,000 psychological public welfare communities for family-educated teenagers. Teachers' courses constantly appeal and emphasize that when children are frustrated at school and can't be understood by teachers and classmates, parents should unconditionally accept and sympathize with their children, give them a warm harbor and be the strong backing behind them, instead of unreasonable criticism and accusations. When children are not understood and comforted, they will be isolated.
Our family education college has done a survey on parents of juvenile offenders and self-harm of teenagers. More than 95% of parents are shocked by their children's criminal or self-destructive behavior. Psychologically, those students who hurt others lack heartfelt respect for life. Whether for others or for himself, the inducing factor is that others hinder his development, cause his pain, and then have a strong dislike and dissatisfaction with others. I hurt others because my emotions were out of control. Their common mantra is "You did it." What about those students who give up on themselves and commit suicide? After some conflicts, their sense of self-worth is seriously low. They think that they can't be accepted and recognized by others, can't be loved and loved by others, and there is no need to exist in this world, so they choose to commit suicide. They often say that living is really boring. But some parents still don't wake up and think that the child was born by me and raised by me. Anyway, he'll appreciate it. How could God give me such a result?
Education is the education of human soul, not just the accumulation of knowledge and the cultivation of ability. Don't force your children to become learning robots, and don't force them to learn anything special. Otherwise, the more knowledge children use, the greater the harm to human life. First of all, we should cultivate children's heartbreaking feelings in the face of a chrysanthemum and a goldfish. No matter how strong a person's ability is, if he loses respect for life, awe of the universe and love for the world, it will become unimaginable for his own interests. Unfortunately, our parents were kidnapped by this materialistic society, and 80% of them went with the flow. Other people's children are like this, and so are my children. The educational values of modern parents are arranged in this way: first, find a famous school for their children; Then give the children various remedial training classes; Then give children various specialties and interest classes; Give children enough material compensation and satisfaction, give them plenty of nutrition to eat and drink, and ensure their health; Then, accompany the children; Finally, consider the child's mental health. Parents can sit down and see if they are like this, but the child's mental health is behind.
But the correct education should be: to put children's mental health in the most important position; Then accompany the child; Give children nutrition to eat and drink to ensure their health; Give children corresponding material satisfaction; Let children participate in some special skills and interest classes; If conditions permit, you can give your child some remedial classes; Find some relatively famous schools for children. Children's mental health always comes first.
So what are the aspects of children's mental health and psychological needs, and how should we love children?
Believe in children, some parents think it is simple: I always believe in children. Do we really believe in children? Let's ask ourselves. Believe that children are the foundation of all education. If you don't even believe the child, then you will doubt him, accuse him and demand him. You can't give your child real love. In fact, we didn't trust children before, and we often found fault with them and blamed them. We always see the child's shortcomings and fail to see his advantages. Sometimes fifty dollars is missing from the wallet, and we also wonder if he stole the child. Did the child leave early again today? Didn't he finish his homework today? Has he been lazy again? Did he lie again? We always find fault with children because we don't trust them. We are like referees on the football field, and children are like athletes on the football field. You see the referee always stares at the player to see if he fouls, misses the ball or is offside. If there is, it will blow the whistle. Similarly, we only see the child's shortcomings, but we don't see his advantages. We always whistle for the child. Then if you keep blowing the whistle, the child will be very angry. You always say it's my fault Obviously, I did my homework today and sometimes I didn't finish it. It's all my fault for being late for dinner and school. It's also my fault that I have conflicts with my classmates. Everything is my fault. So from that time on, children slowly began to accumulate emotions, which continued to accumulate, forming a little hard ice in their hearts, and the more they accumulated, the thicker they became. Ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times, and finally a huge ice cube is formed. There is a big ice cube between the child and us. This is the result of our distrust of children since childhood. Some athletes refused to accept it and ran to the referee and said, it's not my fault. It's not your fault, it's my fault. How dare you talk back? Ok, I'm the referee, and I'll give you a yellow card. I kept giving children yellow cards, one, two, thirteen, and more and more. I have no choice. I stopped the game and didn't kick a penalty. Therefore, children began to rebel around the age of thirteen. Talk back to mom and dad, resist, and even fight with old people. If it is a traditional family, it would be terrible. Don't you dare hit your father, you beast, a rebellious guy. I have trained you for so many years, I didn't expect that we have paid so much for you and raised such a disappointing guy. Whoops, then I began to cry, so all kinds of tragedies happened, all because I didn't understand the child's psychological development. Let's see how cheerleading is done on the football field. Contrary to the referee, whether you score or not, I will cheer for you. Although you didn't score this time, I believe you have tried your best. Although you didn't win this game, I believe you will win the next game! Cheerleading, always only applause, always believe in the players. Therefore, we should be the cheerleading team for children!
? Children are willing to hug you when they are young, but they are unwilling to hug you when they grow up. When I was a child, he came back to talk to you nonstop, and then slowly began to have nothing to say to you. Because in the past, when children came home, they would say that something bad had happened with someone at school today. Then, parents said, did you start it first? Did you make the teacher angry? Children just have emotions in their hearts. He needs someone to listen to, but our parents always say that your problem is your fault. You should change it. You should change it. The child wanted to tell his mother, but her mother always said it was my fault. Ok, I won't tell you later, keep my words in mind. There is nothing to say, just their oral explanation. I would rather tell my friends and classmates than my mother. I'd rather go outside and chat with my boyfriend than chat with my mother. Now come home, quietly put down your schoolbag, go back to your room and close the door. Time to eat. After dinner, go back to your room and close the door. Seeing the child like this, many mothers are cold. Due to the poison of the traditional family education model, 99% of children around 13 years old will have rebellious psychology and cold hearts. Some parents are in a hurry. Why is my child so heartless? I've been so good to you and done so much for you. How can you still do this? I really raised you for nothing, baiwenhang. I hope to find his conscience by accusing and scolding. In fact, it was my parents cutting this hard ice with an axe! Can an axe split the ice inside? ! When you cut with an axe, he will wrap himself more tightly!
How can we open the ice in children's hearts? Actually, the axe can't be cut open. The ice must have melted by heating, right? This is the minimum common sense, but we all forget it. The axe became thicker and thicker, and finally the child didn't want to go to school and ran away from home. These are all injuries that we don't know how to educate our children before they are 13 years old. We should believe that any life will bloom itself through its own efforts, which is the nature given to every life by nature.
? Our family has lived in survey of education for so many years, and the children who are not adapted to the college entrance examination system are not adapted to how to cultivate them. There was no age limit for the college entrance examination in the past. Some people took the college entrance examination for eight years in a row, which was called the eight-year war of resistance, but they still failed. Love your child, don't force him to complete your shortcomings, but tap his nature and become what he wants!
Children of every age have different psychological needs. Have we explored and satisfied them? When the children are older and have some hard ice, we should blend in with them. How to integrate? Just like a radio, one is on channel 298 and the other is on channel 198, so it will never be on the same channel. You can't hear what he said, and he can't understand what you said, can he? Therefore, it is understandable for the same people. We should learn how to speak so that children will listen. How do we listen, so that the children will tell us. What should I do? I changed from 298 to 198. After sharing a frequency and channel with her, will I not understand what I said? Then come, we play with him and become friends with the children. He likes playing games, so he plays games with him. For example, four to seven years old is the competition period for children. We can play Altman and fight monsters with him, and he will like it, so we will blend in with him. After the integration, we became one with him, just like real good friends.
Too many parents, because they don't understand family education, let their children embark on a road that should be happy but so miserable. A harmonious and happy family just doesn't know some basic knowledge of parenting education, which leads to many tragedies. This is a very regrettable thing. I hope parents will attach importance to family education and children's mental health, so that children can learn family education comprehensively and deeply and know how to educate their children. Don't wait until the child's tragedy happens to regret it. There is no regret medicine in the world.